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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think if you take a child to the seaside you should ensure you look after them and this may involve you getting off your arse a bit?

82 replies

MrsMaturin · 29/06/2014 22:27

Having a minor rant about something we saw at the beach today.

BIG beach, big sea, windy. We are all sitting eating our picnic when a large beach ball blew past about 50 metres away. Followed by a small (5-6 yr old) child crying her eyes out. Roughly level with us the ball picked up speed and we could see she couldn't catch it. Dd2 (13) and dh went off down the beach after it and I went to talk to the kid. I asked her who she was with and she pointed to a group about 400 metres away at the top of the beach. I said we would try and catch it and she just walked off sadly. Dd and dh finally caught the ball after another stranger stopped it - perhaps as much as another 500 metres down the beach and almost in the sea.
I followed the child up the beach. When she was about 20 metres from the group a woman came to talk to her. I followed them back to the group - where woman proceeded to stuff her face with pizza - and said my family had caught it. Mum? then started telling the child to go with me to get it which the child clearly didn't want to do so I started walking back towards dd2. Finally the child followed me and the woman followed her very slowly moving no more than around 25 metres away from the group by the time we returned the ball to the kid who was still choking back her sobs.

Now AIBU to think that:

a) if you take kids to the fecking SEASIDE you should keep half an eye on them and not let them wander unchecked towards the sea and conversations with strange women wearing seriously awful cardis ?

b) if you take kids to the fecking seaside on a windy day it should occur to you to keep a check on stuff that could blow away? Seeing that you're the adults after all....

c) if your child is very, very upset you should show her a bit of loving care and not simply tell her to trudge off down the sand with said stranger?

Beach woman - if you're reading this yes I'm judging you and the other 12 people you were with. Try looking after your kids so other people don't have to By way of contrast we saw another ball being chased by a kid later on. Dad was there too and when she couldn't catch it he took over. I'm a very casual parent but there are limits even to me.

OP posts:

AbbeyBartlet · 30/06/2014 17:17

'yes officer we can't find my mum. what's she wearing? The MOST TRAGIC cardi you've ever seen...'

AbbeyBartlet · 30/06/2014 17:19

for you OP for making me laugh (maybe pin them on your cardi?)

(And I know that isn't the point of the thread)

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 30/06/2014 17:43

I grew up right on the coast; I still won't let DD go paddling by herself when she's old enough. Living by the coast and seeing the coastguard helicopter from my bedroom window many nights during my childhood, knowing they were out searching and then seeing that they'd had to call off the search the next day, I'm acutely aware of the dangers of the sea.

Anyone who lets their child go wandering off on the beach needs a sharp wake-up call IMHO!

dawndonnaagain · 30/06/2014 17:44

Yanbu.

I love the idiots that think the red flags are there for decoration!

Original poster

MrsMaturin · 30/06/2014 17:58

I don't think the responses are OTT tbh. You kind of had to be there but the child was wandering a long way from parental group and round a corner from where they were - they wouldn't have been able to see her by the time she was level with us. The distances are estimated based on the length of the pool I swim in every week - 45.7 metres

I have no issue at all with parents allowing children to wander some distance from them on a beach as long as they are in sight all the time, the parents are watching all the time and somebody is with them near the water.

In addition to the obvious risk of the sea yesterday there were people flying big kites with double strings that were almost invisible. There were horse riders and further down the beach - where the ball went - there were what looked like some sort of sand go-kart/yacht things and there were about a million lovely dogs all having a great time.(I am not saying dogs are in any way a risk but the ball was kind of exciting or possibly frightening to a dog and the child was young and liable to be freaked out by any hound which had loomed near) There were umpteen ways for a small child to get in to a situation she wasn't comfortable and/or safe with. That's just how it is at the beach so you watch your kids and get them out of sticky situations yourself. This does not preclude sitting down and eating chips though if they were in the water personally I would have been stood up near them eating chips.

OP posts:

Dutch1e · 30/06/2014 23:58

I grew up on an island. It was common knowledge that you never underestimate the sea, and NEVER take your eyes off a child. All the kids were strong sea swimmers, but even adults can be gone in a blink if they don't know how to read the water.

SquigglySquid · 01/07/2014 00:03

I dunno if I'd find someone with an hideously ugly cardi a threat though.

Sidthesausage · 01/07/2014 07:07

Having lived by the sea and seeing how dangerous it it, I keep close eyes on mine - unlike quite a few city people. Lots of people have died or nearly died over the years. The helicopters often out rescuing.

kelper · 01/07/2014 07:25

It sounds like you have the card I've been looking for forever, where is it from? misses point of thread

coralanne · 01/07/2014 07:35

What colour was the cardi???

You're quite right though. My DD and her DH have 5 DC and they NEVER take them to the seaside unless they have other adults with them.

The ratio if 2 to 5 just isn't feasible at the seaside

coralanne · 01/07/2014 07:35

thegreylady · 01/07/2014 07:44

The sea can be so unpredictable. A couple of years ago my dgs then aged 3 was paddling with his dad and his brother in ankle deep water. A big wave came in and knocked him off his feet and the undertow started to drag him into deeper water. If his dad hadn't been right there we would have lost him.

Provencalroseparadox · 01/07/2014 07:49

I'm paranoid on the beach. Aside from the sea, the rips, stranger danger, getting lost. I also read a scary article recently about sand collapsing on children digging holes.

Work colleagues thought I was bonkers but as 8YO DS was about to go to France by himself and I had to ring family he was staying with to warn them. Luckily the mum was already all over it.

Aeroflotgirl · 01/07/2014 07:49

Yanbu at all, parent your kids fgs!

Taz1212 · 01/07/2014 08:02

When I saw the title of your thread, I honestly thought you had been on the beach at St Anne's the other day. For anyone who knows St Anne's beach, I had taken DD on the giant bouncy slide and there were these two little boys also trying to slide down with all the other children. The oldest was maybe 4 and the younger one couldn't have even been 2. The man noticed that they were on and hadn't paid so he called them off and asked the older one to point out their mum or dad.

The older boy just stared blankly while the younger one headed off. He went right under the pier and was on the other side. One of the parents who was standing around offered to look after the older one while the slide man chased after the younger one. He got them back and tried to lead both boys up the beach, pointing at the people and saying, "Do you see your mum? Do you see your dad?" Eventually, a young teenage girl and down the beach and the older one said she was his sister. She was completely unperturbed when told the little one had been way on the other side of the pier.

YANBU at all. Young children need proper supervision at the beach!

Pooka · 01/07/2014 08:04

We go to the beach a lot with the dcs. Dd has had surfing lessons which always begin with the safety talk about rips, what to do in rips etc. I'm very conscious of tide times, and always have been. I know the beach and coastline we visit very very well.

I'm probably more paranoid than a person who is visiting for the first time ever or who has no history/knowledge of the beach. Because I've seen things.

There are lots of mini coves off the main beach accessible via rockfalls at the back. Beautiful secret places. Last year I was mucking about with the kids at about 1 hour after low tide. Watched a group of kids ranging from about 10 down to 3 clamber through one of the rockfalls to the cove behind. The tide had turned and I was worried that they might get cut off in the cove behind which completely fills with sea. Kept watching and they didn't come back. Tide approaching fast. Spoke to lifeguard who disappeared for about 20 mins across and through the cave. He reappeared with the group of kids, helping the little ones over. By this time the shallow water extended beyond the opening of the inlet. Not a parent in sight. I am very glad that I noticed - expect the lifeguards had already noticed anyway before I spoke to them. But anyway - they hadn't a clue about the tides. My kids do a lot of rock clambering. But because I know the beach we always watch where they are and what they're up to, with an eye on the tide. The parents probably thought it was safe to leave a couple of 10 year olds in charge (dd was same age so I think they were roughly that age). But a 10 year old can't be responsible for much younger kids near the sea IMO.

Goblinchild · 01/07/2014 08:15

Exactly Pooka, it's those that are unfamiliar that tend to get into trouble because of lack of awareness of the potential dangers.
Likewise, when I lived in Lancashire we'd get tourists heading up onto the moors with flip flops, T shirts and shorts and no map or compass, because it was lovely and sunny and they fancied a walk.
Then the mist closed in, the temperature plummeted, the Dark Peak area has few landmarks and once you've lost the road or path, you are stuffed.

PurpleAlert · 02/07/2014 06:29

YANBU this drives me mad too.

I was recently on a beach in Portugal when I noticed a little girl of about 7 on a lilo. After watching her for a few minutes I started to realise she was struggling to paddle it back towards the shore( she was about 50m or so out.) the tide was on its way out and I knew there to be a fairly strong current as I had felt it once or twice myself.

I stood up about to do my bay watch impression when two other people ( closer to to the water) also noticed her and started sprinting into the sea.
One I assumed was the child's mum. A man reached her first and towed her back in. When they got back to the edge of the water it was obvious that neither people who had gone in to rescue her were relatives. The little girl wondered further up the beach to a large group of people who she was with and it was obvious that they hadn't even seen what had happened.

I could see her explaining and pointing at the man who had rescued her but they didn't acknowledge him or go over to say thank you...

I saw her later near the water's edge with arm bands on so she couldn't even bloody swim!

coraltoes · 02/07/2014 06:39

I see this all the time at home, parents sitting in the cafe terrace on the beach, kids playing by the sea basically unsupervised. I've seen them wander into the sea themselves, get lost, get hurt and never a parent around. It is mostly non local parents who seem to be naive about how dangerous the sea can truly be. It may look warm and calm (although not the Atlantic doesn't really) but it takes a second for something bad to happen. You are ALL on holiday not just the parents. Grrr. Rant over.

Greydog · 21/07/2014 16:37

I know this is an old thread, but this was on todays BBC newsfeed - www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-west-wales-28397976

NewtRipley · 21/07/2014 16:45

riskit

yy Baywatch gave whole generation a healthy respect for the sea (and large bobbing norks)

TerrariaMum · 21/07/2014 16:57

Slightly OT, but if you get caught in a rip, you swim across it, not against it, right?

YANBU OP, of course.

ICanSeeTheSun · 21/07/2014 17:09

The sea is so unpredictable and children need full supervision.

But that cardi seems a crime against fashion.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 21/07/2014 17:19

I live a few miles inland but every summer there's stories on the local news about people being cut off by the tide or swept away and drowned. They almost always turn out to be holiday makers who have no clue what they're doing. Or there's kids burying themselves alive trying to dig holes in the sand. People are absolutely oblivious to the dangers. I think there should be a bit more public information available at this time of year.

Greydog · 21/07/2014 17:22

Ilove I honestly don't think it would make any difference. It's the old "someone else will do it/won't happen to me mentallity" People are always being told, but just ignore it

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