To be upset at exes new girlfriends views on abortion?

[Fanfeckintastic]

My long term ex and father of my child has a new partner and I did something bloody foolish and unreasonable and had a little glance at her Facebook out of curiousity really.

I'm actually really upset at my "findings", her entire page seems dedicated to anti abortion things. Big stories about how abortion is murder and is the same as killing one of your living children, horrible pictures etc.

I'm so shocked because myself and ex are so so pro choice, have gone to marches etc here in Ireland. I'm so upset because together "we" had an abortion a couple of years ago and I can't believe he's with someone so venomously against it, someone who if she knew, would think of me as a murderer.

She will be meeting my little girl soon (this won't change that, I'm just saying)

I know I was unreasonable to look at her page, am I crazy for feeling like this though?

Yes in honesty you are a bit. She's entitled to her views and your ex is your ex so it really is none of your business.

Each to their own. YABU.
I'm pro choice but don't the views of others aren't my business.

ignore the random don't.

Yikes. Tricky situation. You are not a murderer obviously and you don't have to justify yourself (not even inside your own head) to a fruitcake.

Why on earth your x wants to go out with somebody with such strong views is his business. I wonder if he thinks it'll last though. Hard to know what to do. you can't tell him how you know she's such a strident pro-lifer.

I guess the only consolation is that she's unlikely to be unpleasant to your child or at least no more likely to be unpleasant to your child as a result of her views.

You're all so right. It just feels like he's being a traitor on "our beliefs" or "our decision"
Sounds really stupid when I put it down.

his gf/partner will be in your dd's life
however it would be best if can keep that separate from your life
(speaking from bitter experience here)
it isn't worth your emotional involvement

Why is your ex with someone who has such strong opposing views to him I wonder

It's none of your business

I can understand your feelings. I wouldn't be that bothered about what she thought as an individual and I wouldn't be bothered if the ex was somebody I never had to see again.

However, I would be upset that my 'co-parent' was now going out with an anti-abortion campaigner given our past history and wondering whether his feelings had changed.

Yabu but I think you know that. It's her opinion. Just like your views may be wrong to her, she's entitled to how she feels. Maybe your ex wasn't entirely honest about how he felt.

Yes, YABU. Because you went looking, and it's unlikely to were going to like what you saw no matter what was on her page. That's just not going to happen when you're snooping on an ex's new girlfriend.

I can't stand the abortion crap people put on FB, either for or against it, but her opinion is as valid as yours, and she's entitled to put what she wants on her page.

It would be interesting to know her reaction to finding out that her boyfriend was once supportive of his baby being aborted though.

I can see why you may be hurt as obviously that was a big decision for you and ex dp so it must be strange to think he is happy with someone who would be against something you both had to painfully do for whatever reasons ifykwim.

However she is allowed her own views and may have a wonderful personality. She must have some lovely qualities so he has fallen for these despite a difference in opinion.

fanfeckingtastic no I completely get why you're upset. you thought you went through it together, and you could never, ever go out with somebody who was vocally and a bit obsessively pro-life. But he can? like it was something that happened to somebody else now?

I get why you're reeling a bit.

It's perfectly possible to be in a relationship with somebody who thinks differently to you. Dh and I differ somewhat on this issue though not what we would do personally. I guess the same is true here - doubtless he would support her right to continue a pregnancy just like he supported your choice to end one. It really has nothing to do with you what she thinks does it? I would put it out of your mind.

I understand why you're shocked, but she is entitled to her opinion and if you snoop, you tend to find out things which you don't like.

Your ex would also be entitled to change his mind. Maybe over the years he has begun to regret the abortion.

Shouldn't have posted that really. I don't want to ignite a row. it was an example but probably a potentially flammable one. Ignore it.

To be honest you sound like you still consider yourselves a couple when your say "our beliefs". Maybe he hasn't changed his beliefs, maybe he is too spineless to challenge hers, maybe they have agreed to disagree. Unless he's suddenly posting anti abortion stuff himself it's unfair to call him a traitor.

Yabu. Maybe he's one of those people who changes his views to fit whoever he is shagging at the time.

Yabvvu you are no longer a couple anymore, no more us.

Perhaps your ex has changed his mind?

YABU, but understandable.

well no, it's none of your business but how fucking dodgy, why plaster that all over facebook...

The problem is there is an 'us' in the sense that the OP and her ex share a child so they do have to maintain a relationship. I would be upset if I had gone through this with somebody and then suspected they had changed their mind.

Having said that there isn't actually anything you can do about the situation, OP. He thinks what he thinks and he is free to have a relationship with whoever he wants.

I think Yabu as she is entitled to her views, and has not even shared them with you.