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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to see his penis?

94 replies

themummyonthebus · 29/06/2014 20:13

My PIL are naturists. My FIL in particular. He always wears as little as possible, generally a t-shirt and boxers. It's a bit odd, but I've got used to it now.

My DH was brought up in a naturist environment and has slowly converted me although I was brought up in a household where nudity was taboo - I can't remember ever seeing my Mum in the nude, let alone my father Shock I love that in our household if it's warm there's no rush to get dressed in the morning and we went to a naturist camp in France last year and once I got used to it it was really nice. No trying to get dressed in a too small tent, getting sun cream/sand in clothes, etc. Children thought it was great too.

But. My PIL have just moved to a house with a swimming pool and it's just getting warm enough to use it. Last time we visited we were sitting on the veranda when I saw my DC whizz past (in the nude) followed by a nude FIL to go swimming. DH followed them in, also in the nude. I managed to avoid seeing anything but WIBU to ask FIL to put on swimming trunks when I'm there, bearing in mind that DC and DH are also in the nude? And since I suppose IABU has anyone got any ideas how to manage things as I'd quite like to swim (with a cozzie on) as well but there's no way I'm going in while he's in the pool in the nude!

OP posts:
ikeaismylocal · 29/06/2014 20:58

Do boys also inherit penis characteristics from their maternal grandfather or is it an identical copy of the father's penis? I have a ds but I have never thought about it.

Original poster
themummyonthebus · 29/06/2014 21:00

OK, this has gone weird

I think the only solution is to pray for a wet summer Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
themummyonthebus · 29/06/2014 21:02

My DS doesn't have a direct copy of DH's so while I suppose there willy be some sort of genetic similarity it won't be a copy/paste.

But then I dropped biology as soon as I could at school so my knowledge of genetics is a bit basic.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 29/06/2014 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Scousadelic · 29/06/2014 21:10

I'm afraid it's his house so you don't have the right to ask him to wear trunks so your options are to stop going there or to wear a blindfold

ShoeWhore · 29/06/2014 21:10

OP I think you are getting an undeservedly hard time about this. I'm really not sure that many of us would be cool with hanging out naked with our ILs!

Not sure what you can do about it though - ask dh to have a word with his mum? It's bad manners to make a guest feel uncomfortable imho.

Orangeanddemons · 29/06/2014 21:15

I just find all of this too weird....

cindydog · 29/06/2014 21:20

scousadelic : OP can not use a blindfold, because she would have to feel her way around !!!!

Ememem84 · 29/06/2014 21:21

I don't think I'd be too happy about it. But his house his rules etc so you can't expect him to speedo up (which isn't what this is about).

If it were me, I'd def wear a bathing suit to swim. And would probably just try to avoid being in the pool with him. Eg just get in pool when he's on his way out. (Please don't pray for a wet summer!!!) or just claim you're on your period so can't possibly swim.

BelleOfTheBorstal · 29/06/2014 21:27

Please dont pray for rain, some of us would like a warm summer and do not feel worried about spotting the odd penis here and there

AuntieStella · 29/06/2014 21:29

Could you buy FIL and DH mankinis and insist on both wearing them to humour you?

Zucker · 29/06/2014 21:34

No I couldn't do it either OP. I saw a picture of my FIL in short shorts and that was enough for me. Some strategic entering the pool as he's just left is in order I think.

lettertoherms · 29/06/2014 21:37

I would hate this. But there's nothing you can do, really. You've made your own (naked) bed.

I'm not precious at all about naked bodies but I would hate to see my in-laws naked. But if you haven't made a fuss before, you can't now make a fuss about a specific penis.

illcounttothree · 29/06/2014 21:43

Totally see where you're coming from, OP. This would make me really squinchy. It's weird because I have no problem being nude in front of DH and DCs, and even complete strangers (gym changing rooms etc), but in front of my PILs it would just make me feel a bit...odd.

However, the rules of politeness state that it would be rude to ask him to cover up in his own house, just the same as it would be rude if your PILs said you weren't allowed to wear a cozzie. As long as he's not leering at you and doing a penis dance, I think you're just going to have to deal with it.

wafflyversatile · 29/06/2014 21:45

I wouldn't want to see ILs or my own parents or siblings naked.

I know that naturists and people from other countries who are a lot more blase about wandering about naked or sitting in the sauna with strangers or family are correct and healthy. And it's all very fabulous.

But I wasn't brought up like that so ick. In my head it is Wrongy McWrong on the wrong day in the wrong place and I'm unlikely to change ever.

motherinferior · 29/06/2014 21:47

Just take a good look at it. Defuse the penis mystique. It is probably a perfectly pleasant penis. And then have a swim.

wafflyversatile · 29/06/2014 21:47

oh yeah, yanbu not to want to see it but you can't really expect him to cover up in his own pool. He is already covering up in the house. You can ask, I suppose or just hope he picks up on your awkwardness and puts some on.

Sallyingforth · 29/06/2014 21:50

If he's actually in the pool, you won't see much at all. They tend to shrink in cold water :)

But seriously, you will get used to it very quickly and will be glad to have lost any inhibition. It is the natural state after all.

I actually feel uncomfortable in a public pool with a costume stuck to my body.

Jump in and enjoy your swim!

Orangeanddemons · 29/06/2014 21:51

I'm with Waffly. I do not want to see anyone's random willy. Ever. And I am not a prude or narrow mined or any other inhibited traits. I am very relaxed and broad minded.

But random willies? Just no..

Original poster
themummyonthebus · 29/06/2014 21:52

Oh god, is the penis dance a varient of the unclezilla dance?

Illcount that's really how I feel. Over the last few years I've become very relaxed about nudity around strangers but the thought of seeing friends, acquaintances or PIL in the nude just makes me feel odd.

I know I'm being UR really (and I shan't pray for a wet summer). I shall just have avert my gaze and wear sunglasses. I suppose I should look on the bright side that I can leave him to play with the DC by himself while I have a cuppa and a chat to MIL.

OP posts:
Orangeanddemons · 29/06/2014 21:54

And I'm not sure it is a "natural " state. Why would people wear clothes if it was natural? It's an unadorned state maybe, but most people wear clothes for protection or social reasons

Sallyingforth · 29/06/2014 21:55

Orange I accept what you say 100%. That's how you feel and it's your choice. No problem.
But can you tell me what it is about the random willy that you don't want to see? Is it the shape, or what? Just interested...

Sallyingforth · 29/06/2014 21:56

Crossed with your last post

Bogeyface · 29/06/2014 21:57

Ok, going on the OP as the thread seems to be v weird in parts (fnaaar!)

I would say that YABU on the basis that you know they are naturists and it is their home, so their rules.

That said, I wouldnt want to see my FIL's family jewels either. It is a different dynamic than being on a holiday, I am not sure why but it just is.

I think that you either have to accept that he will do this, but equally dont feel pressured to do it yourself. He is happy in the nude, fine. you are happy in a costume, also fine.

Bogeyface · 29/06/2014 21:58

I think that you either have to accept that he will do this, but equally dont feel pressured to do it yourself. He is happy in the nude, fine. you are happy in a costume, also fine.

I meant that you should either accept that he will do this or not go round when the pool is being used, but equally......