AIBU to cancel a planned playdate/meet up with friend

[Florabeebaby]

My DH is a taxi driver and he saw my friend with her family in town last night.
Her dad (who I know is a supporter of BNP) was mouthing off at the drivers including my DH who is foreign...he was after a fight but as my DH knew who he was he was asking the other drivers to just ignore him. The police was called but no-one bothered to press charges against him.
BUT my DH then heard my friend herself going on about 'fucking foreigners'.
Now, I am not British either so fall into that category too...she has never displayed such behaviour and comments at all, quite the opposite in my opinion. We are not very close, used to work together and now keep in touch, see each other every now and then.
I feel uncomfortable, the subject is very sore. My DH has to endure racial abuse and has been assaulted at work as well. I 'fit in' so I don't get the abuse but I feel it, IYKWIM. She knows of the trouble my DH has had as well and about his past, the reasons why he came to the UK, not a happy story.
I'm disappointed and feel like never seeing her again.

I'd always cut any ties with racists. Only good one is a dead one.

So was your friend being racist or her dad?

I'd cut contact.

Ah sorry I see your friend was also being racist!

They were both being racist.

Drunk but racist.

I would drop her and her family like a bag of cold sick.
I don't have racist friends.

I agree with funk I like that saying!

Bye bye friend.

When people have drunk too much, they show themselves as they really are.

You're not close, let the friendship die off.

They're not a friendly family are they, do yoy really want to stay friends?

Is your husband absolutely sure it was your friend? (And not a similar looking sister or cousin etc) I suspect not but could be a small possibility. I suggest you cancel but give calm measured reasons why and talk about how you feel "I feel very hurt" rather than "you are vile" which is true but unlikely to get to her.

Sorry you had to hear this. We're not all like that.

Cancel.

Yes bin her. True colours coming out there.

Yes bin her but make it clear why!

Ugh, how disappointing. I would drop her but although I'm usually very straight with people and not one to avoid confrontation, I'm not sure if I'd tell her why given what happened last night. It sounds like you live in a small town and they sound like rough people; as you say DH has already had hassle when working I would be wary about antagonising them in case it causes trouble for him.

That's what I thought.

Not nice.

Dh agrees, he said he saved the dad last nigt by calming the other drivers, I wish they would have pressed charges.

I will cancel and that's the end of it then. I will let her know that her commnets are too hurtful to get over...especially as my whole family is fucking foreign!! Urgh.

Thank you MN.

YANBU. Disappointing though, when you realise your friends aren't who you thought.

Smallish town...I don't think he will get any trouble. The incidents he has had previously have been separate.
Doubt she will recognise him anymore either...and definately not when drunk! She did not see him last night, only her dad and he does not know us at all.

only good one us a dead one

Wow

Y Y drop her fast.
But make sure you let her know why as well.

Yeah, dump them all pronto. They are no friends of yours. And being drunk is no excuse.

I think the consensus is to drop this so called friend like (as alpacapicnic put it like a bag of cold sick ( I'm so stealing that btw).

I would also make sure she knows why. Let her know that her comment about "fucking foreigners" is the reason.

It makes me sad when i feel ashamed to be British.

OK, then do tell her why. Hope she will be ashamed.

i unfriended my dad on facebook because he posted a BNP supporting thing on facebook, so an accquantence in a flash.

I unfriended my mil on FB as she's a racist.

I told her why too.

Made no difference. She is still racist, just means it's not popping up on my newsfeed every day.