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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About DPs and cat?

45 replies

catgirl1976 · 29/06/2014 17:23

DH, DS and I live in a rented house. Been in it 4 years and LL has given us notice as he wants to move in.

Where I live rented houses are like gold dust atm. There just aren't any. The first house we found fell through. We have found somewhere else but we have to be out of here on the 9th July and it won't be ready by then. So as of the 9th we have nowhere to live.

DPs have said we can move in with them. It will be for anywhere between 3 days and a week (find out for definite when we can get the keys on Tuesday). However, we have 3 cats and my Dad is refusing to let us bring one of them on the grounds he can (used to be) a bit bad for weeing in the house. He hasn't done this for ages (though to be fair he might being somewhere new)

We can't put him in a cattery as his vacs are not up to date. I don't have anyone who can take him and I can't put him on the street

Now you might think, their house their rules but I have been paying DPs rent for the last couple of months as they are shit with money, had their own house repossesed and are living in my sisters house. She is only charging them enough to cover her mortgage when she could be renting to tenants and making some money and they STILL don't pay then rent. So I have to fucking do it so pregnant DSIS doesn't miss mortgage payments. I have given them about £2k this year which I can ill afford.

I am so pissed off. What am I meant to do with the fucking cat? It's a few sodding days. It can live in the garage if needs be but No. DM is acting like its the 1950s and saying she "can't go against the wishes of her husband"

So where exactly would she like her 2 year old grandson to live for a week.

I have rage.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MamaPain · 29/06/2014 17:26

So it's your sister's house you would be moving into? Can't you just ask her to make the judgment and say that as you have been paying the rent for the time being it should be fine.

Plus I think if you perhaps offer to keep that particular cat downstairs only and clean up/pay for any damage there shouldn't be an issue.

HarderToKidnap · 29/06/2014 17:26

Can yo ask DSis directly? Or get the cat vacced tomorrow?

MamaPain · 29/06/2014 17:27

Also you need to sort vaccinations out asap.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 29/06/2014 17:28

DSis thinks they are BU and has told them to let me have the cat but they are refusing

OP posts:
Original poster
catgirl1976 · 29/06/2014 17:28

I offered to have him in the garage, clean up any mess etc

OP posts:
steff13 · 29/06/2014 17:29

If your sister owns the house they're living in, I'd ask her.

Could you not pay your parents' rent for July and get the cat's vaccines updated?

WeirdCatLady · 29/06/2014 17:29

If it's your sisters house then it is her call. Your dps have no say.
Though you should get the vaccinations sorted (side issue)

MamaPain · 29/06/2014 17:30

I don't think their opinion really matters then. I'd turn up with the cat and tell them it's happening. Maybe compromise on if the cat does piss in the house you will take it to a cattery but until then it will be staying there, in the house you have been paying for.

Should give you time to sort something else.

KeepOnPloddingOn · 29/06/2014 17:30

Yanbu. The bloody cheek of it!

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 29/06/2014 17:30

I know I need to sort his vaccinations out Blush

They are saying it is their house and don't seem to care that they only have somewhere to live because I constantly bail them out

OP posts:
Original poster
catgirl1976 · 29/06/2014 17:32

I think I am going to just turn up with the cat. They are being totally U. It's only for a few days and I have run myself ragged and bled myself dry helping them out

OP posts:
BelleateSebastian · 29/06/2014 17:32

Get the cats vaccinated and stick them all in a cattery for a week or so, I use a cattery that lets my unvaccinated cats stay there on the understanding if the catch anything I won't hold her responsible!

Scousadelic · 29/06/2014 17:32

No idea how to solve this one but how bloody ungrateful are your parents?!

I think I would be reading a riot act, threatening withdrawing your help to them and pointing out how they risk dragging your DSis down with them if you do but it is horrid situation to be in

MamaPain · 29/06/2014 17:32

Do you know what fuck 'em. Take the cat, let it piss all over them, their belongings, in their shoes, in their cereal, on their chips, wherever it bloody well likes. That'll teach them to have let you keep it in the garage.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 29/06/2014 17:35

Grin Mama I like your thinking

I just feel it's such a slap when I have helped them so much. That doesn't get talked about of course, because it's awkward for them. I'm sure it bloody is, but so is being temporarily homeless and having to help then financially whilst coming up with the money for a bond, storage, van hire etc Angry

OP posts:
newfavouritething · 29/06/2014 17:40

Tell them that you're not paying their rent, and that you're spending YOUR money on vaccinations and cattery. What do they spend their money on?

HappyAgainOneDay · 29/06/2014 17:41

Do your DPs know which cat it is? If not, just take any two or just one to start with and the second / third the next time you go. the cats will come and go and they won't know that there are three unless they all look too different.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 29/06/2014 17:44

God knows

DSis and I worked it out and after paying the rent (which they haven't been able to do recently) and council tax, they have about £200 a week left to live on.

They don't smoke, drink or go out. They run a car but it's a very old Volvo, nothing flash. We persuaded them to get rid of Sky and get a freeview box (they were paying £60 a month). DF has gone bankrupt so no active debts

I don't know if it is just they have always been used to DF earning tonnes of money (and spending it all - no savings) and now they can't adapt to living on a state pension and HB.

But I don't have much more than that to live off after I have paid my rent and childcare and bills and I bloody manage.

I love them to bits but I am worried sick about them financially as me bailing them out isn't sustainable long term and then they go and do this when I really need some help.

OP posts:
WeirdCatLady · 29/06/2014 17:45

I would also never pay their rent ever again. If your dsis has money worries then feel free to help her but you're just enabling your parents to treat you badly.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 29/06/2014 17:45

Sadly, there is a tabby, a black on and a ginger one. And they know it's the ginger one who has the problem :(

I might piss on their stuff the way I feel right now. Never mind the bloody cat.

OP posts:
Original poster
catgirl1976 · 29/06/2014 17:46

Don't suppose anyone wants a lovely but slightly incontinent, unvaccinated ginger cat.....

OP posts:
BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 29/06/2014 17:50

Who says you have to be out of your home by the 9th? Has your landlord issued you with a Section 21 Notice and been to court and gained a possession order? If he has, has he appointed bailiffs yet?

Ninetysixpercent · 29/06/2014 17:51

I wouldn't ask their permission, i'd give them a choice. Either they allow the cat to stay or they back you back what they owe right away so you can get the cat vaccinated and put him/her in a cattery. They don't own the property, they aren't paying the rent, i really don't see that it's their decision to make.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 29/06/2014 17:55

LL hasn't issued anything formal.

it was all very amicable as we had no concept finding somewhere else would be this hard. We signed to be out by the 30th of June (just an agreement with him). Then when the first house fell through we asked for an extension to 9th July (as 2nd house should have been ready) and he agreed - moving his decorators etc to accommodate - so he has been very helpful so far.

So technically I guess we could stay a few days which longer would piss him off but legally would be ok. I don't want to mess him around particularly though as we've always had a good relationship. I just want my dad to stop being a twunt and giving me added stress.

I am just going to tell him that cat is coming and if he wants to give me some money back to pay for catteries and get him vaccinated he can feel free.

OP posts:
BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 29/06/2014 17:59

Listen, if your landlord hasn't been granted possession by a court then I suggest you risk pissing him off and staying for another week. It will be a lot less stressful for you and a whole lot stressful for the cats. One move into their new home rather than two.

Oh, and fuck your parents! And stop paying their sodding rent for them. How dare they refuse you? For the home YOU ARE PAYING FOR! Jesus wept