AIBU to love MN even though I'm not a mum?

[PricillaQueenOfTheDessert]

I found out about 15 years ago that I would find it difficult to conceive naturally and my GP told me I would be a "fast track" to IVF if I hadn't conceived after 6 months of trying. I dug deep and decided then, and having revisited this decision many times come to the same conclusion, that I would rather be happy with a partner and no kids than to put myself and my partner through IVF. I just can't bear the thought of wanting a baby so badly and it not working out. It breaks me just to think about it. I have every respect for those who have been through IVF, I know it is tough, but I just don't feel strong enough to cope with it myself, please believe me no disrespect is meant by that - far, far from it.
For the last few years I've been feeling increasingly ostracised by my friends with kids, they meet up for playdates when I'm at work and on the very odd occasion we meet up in the evening they are obviously so much closer and have so much more in common. And at work I'm surrounded by back to work mums talking about sports day, school uniforms, and so on. I feel very lonely in my child-free world.

I met DH 10 years ago and was clear from the start that kids weren't on my agenda and he's been largely supportive of this. We have a happy life together, but I know he would make a good father and I sometimes feel so guilty for depriving him of this. But, he loves me and he made his choice, bless him.

I stumbled across MN a few months ago thanks to the publicity of the penis beaker and the forum has been my regular evening haunt ever since. I love interacting with people of similar ages again and women with often hilarious tales who are on the same wavelength as me.

So, am I about to be banished into MN obscurity forever by my admission, or am I not the only child-free MNtter out there?

Hiya mumsnet is great fun and the chats are good most of the time folk dont talk about their kids anyway nobody cares if you have children or not ,

Hello

I will admit to being childless too, I'm on my 3rd ivf as we speak so I can relate to your post, you are very brave and I envy your outlook

I am also childless, though I hope that children will feature in my fairly near future. I also love MN, as I do feel a lot of people here are on a similar wavelength to me. It also makes me feel like if I had kids, I would already have a place to go and ask my probably ridiculous PFB questions!

I don't have kids and as I don't have a partner begin to suspect I never will have kids. But I love MN so no YANBU!

I don't have kids I am childfree and MN is a wonderfully supportive place IME whether you have children or not.

YABU don't you know that mumsnet is for mums and mums only. No dads, aunties, uncles, people without kids etc allowed

Most of the threads that I read have nothing to do with kids. I come on here to have some time away from my child & I am sure the majority of people who use mumsnet are the same. It wouldn't even cross my mind to question why anyone is on here coz its none of my business.

I don't have children either. It's a place I can give and ask for advice when needed, and there are some very funny threads on here. There are a lot of people on MN who have no children! YADNBU!

YANBU. I'm childfree too (never been able to get pregnant despite trying over the years). Ex partner had teens though which is how I found Mumsnet in 2010. I love it. The amazingly funny and smart women here are like nowhere else. I love it. It feels like home. Dont lose your life to Mumsnet though! like me.

I don't have any children, and I love it here.

Oh you lovely people, thank you! I meant to actually write a light-hearted post about being childfree and out it all came... But thank you, and am glad am not the only one.

Not unreasonable at all. I only hang around here to chat to smart witty and cool folk, I like to see how the other half live

My sister made the same decision as you priscilla

They agreed that they would try despite her tocophobia (as a result of my mothers reaction to my pg at 17 when she was 15) and she would have treatment for her uterinal polyps as they were also causing horrendous periods for her, but if it didnt happen then that was that.

She is now being pushed towards assisted conception by her doctor who seems utterly bemused that they wouldnt want to try every avenue. She, like you, values her marriage more than a child that she may never have. Her DH agrees.

MN.....well yes it started as MUMSnet. Now it is partly MUMSnet but mainly MADWOMENWITHWEIRDCELEBCRUSHESnet :o

YANBU at all. I'm fairly new, and don't have children (though we sort-of fostered for a while), but the chat can be fun and thought-provoking (and has made me more considerate, bizarrely), plus some of the handy tips are genius. Join in, I think you'll like it.

I don't have kids either but love mumsnet. It is so addictive. I even recommended it to my childless sister and at first she thought I was mad but now she loves it to.

I admit no kids either!few friends my age have kids or are starting to. Thought it would happen for me however stupid ex fiance fucking me over, bad health problems and having to move back home i wonder if it will happen for me!

My solution? Younger friends!!

You are so not being unreasonable

I am totally baffled as to why anyone without DCs should want to be on here tbh. It is called Mumsnet. It's for Mums

windchime you know the fact there's a ttc board suggests there's a lot of ladies not quite there yet?

Also what % of posts include info that's only relevant to mothers?

I don't go on parenting boards just ttc, infertility, aibu and step parenting as all those are relevant to me

So Windchime yabu

I have to completely disagree with windchime

Yes, it's called Mumsnet, but the spectrum of issues and topics discussed on here ranges way beyond basic parenting topics.

There are people on here from every walk of life and I have always found answers to my questions, plenty to laugh at, and useful information, some related to parenting and some not.

OP YA definitely NBU.

No you're not! I like to think that being a woman remained a bigger part of my identity than being a mum. I prided myself on remaining friends with people who didn't have children. Maybe that soun
ds a bit spiky of me. Actually, the two identities are less of an internal struggle now that the children are older. But no, yanbu.

I just go on chat, property/diy and relationships. I would steer well clear of anything to do with toilet training. I still haven't a clue what bwl stands for and I don't need to know now.

Childless here too, not by choice but after 4 IVF and the insanity that goes along that I'm in a good place now , enjoying life and cherishing my marriage.
I love mumsnet. Lots of posts are about children of course but lots more are about everything else. There are some brilliant smart funny people on here and I like to think I've learned from them.
Quite surprised at windchime , I don't think many people feel as you do. Isn't it more interesting to have a diverse spread of posters?
I'm sure plenty of mums don't want to discuss being a mum exclusively.

That's exactly why I avoid play groups. Talking about and comparing children all day is boring! YANBU

I was happily childless for 39 of my 41 years, and though I first logged onto Mumsnet when I was newly pregnant, I would almost certainly have joined much earlier had a realised it was more than a 'parenting tips'-type forum.

And, OP, I cherish my friends without children. I left it late to try to conceive, and had two decades of childfree adulthood. I am still the same person, though with a beloved toddler, and my childfree friends are an important part of that.

And I think Windchime's is a minority view.

Why on earth should you be banished ? Yes I'm a mum of six , but that's not all I am , and it's certainly not all I define myself to be . I'm a police officer, an ex goth , a competitive horsewoman , a sharp tongued soft touch , an Agatha Christie fanatic and a dab hand with pastry (crap at arty stuff though) . You may not be a mum , but you sound like a thoughtful articulate person , and someone I'd like to chat to . Yes I post on child related threads sometimes , but I post on many many more un child related threads too .