I found out about 15 years ago that I would find it difficult to conceive naturally and my GP told me I would be a "fast track" to IVF if I hadn't conceived after 6 months of trying. I dug deep and decided then, and having revisited this decision many times come to the same conclusion, that I would rather be happy with a partner and no kids than to put myself and my partner through IVF. I just can't bear the thought of wanting a baby so badly and it not working out. It breaks me just to think about it. I have every respect for those who have been through IVF, I know it is tough, but I just don't feel strong enough to cope with it myself, please believe me no disrespect is meant by that - far, far from it.
For the last few years I've been feeling increasingly ostracised by my friends with kids, they meet up for playdates when I'm at work and on the very odd occasion we meet up in the evening they are obviously so much closer and have so much more in common. And at work I'm surrounded by back to work mums talking about sports day, school uniforms, and so on. I feel very lonely in my child-free world.
I met DH 10 years ago and was clear from the start that kids weren't on my agenda and he's been largely supportive of this. We have a happy life together, but I know he would make a good father and I sometimes feel so guilty for depriving him of this. But, he loves me and he made his choice, bless him.
I stumbled across MN a few months ago thanks to the publicity of the penis beaker and the forum has been my regular evening haunt ever since. I love interacting with people of similar ages again and women with often hilarious tales who are on the same wavelength as me.
So, am I about to be banished into MN obscurity forever by my admission, or am I not the only child-free MNtter out there?