to make my 4 year old return his stolen goods?

[OorWullie]

5yo DS and I were in our local shop earlier, he had a bit of a hissy fit because I wouldn't buy him a kinder egg, I asked him to put it back- which he did, and he chose some crisps instead (fine).

Got home and he said "I don't have anything in my pocket", obviously this alerted me, I went into his pocket and pulled out the kinder egg.

I spoke to him about stealing being wrong, and that when I say no it's not ok to take it anyway. Obviously he has not been allowed to keep the kinder egg but I'm not sure whether I should make him take it back and say sorry to one of the girls working (i know them as i also work there) or if i should just explain next time i am in and pay for it.

Part of me thinks it will make it more "real" if DS has to face this himself and part of me thinks its a bit pointless as he has probably forgotten about it already.

If I had nicked anything while I was with my Dad he would probably have been proud of me. . I'm not sure how I have grown up to be so slavishly honest. I think his 'bad' example was quite effective.

I stole some chocolate cigarettes (it was the 70s) when I was about that age. Made to return them, apologise etc. I've never forgotten it.

Oh glad it all went well.

my brother had quite a few episodes of stealing, we always blamed my grandma's influences as she would let him eat and drink around the supermarket and then hide the rubbish behind other stuff on the shelves and would tell him it was ok to take the 'free' toys off the front of magazines.

The worst episode was when he was about 7 and we were all having tea at a close family friends house and her wedding/engagement rings went missing off the side cue friend then blaming my brother. As he did have a history of stealing my mum had to check all his pockets and was quite ashamed, rings were never found.
Years later mum and friend were out for a drink with others and they got on to talking about insurance. Friend told a tale of her and her DH and how they once fraudulently claimed on their house insurance for their weddings rings, pretended they were stolen to get a hefty pay out etc finding it all very funny.

friend had obviously forgot how shed blamed my bro as her cover up story and told the real story in front of my mum.

Cruel cow!

friend had obviously forgot how shed blamed my bro as her cover up story and told the real story in front of my mum.

Is it too late to report them? Oh I'd be so pissed about that.

I had a cousin who had a history of stealing trinkets and my parents noticed my earrings were missing. My parents blamed her and eventually found them behind my dresser. But they apologized and gave me a talk about why it was wrong to jump to conclusions.

I can't imagine saddling a child like that on purpose.

It was a long time ago, my bro has just turned 28.

Bloody terrible thing to do though, like u say bad enough when its a jump to the wrong conclusion but to do it intentionally, down right wrong!

Muskey I never really thought about paying for it actually, he hadn't broken the wrapper or done anything to it- the shop girl put it back on the shelf. If I had ended up paying for it and keeping it I'd have given it to another child or stuck it in the back of the cupboard for another day (without letting DS know i had it), even if hehad expected to keep it I wouldn't think destroying it in front of him would do any good.

scotchtiki thankyou, it's not often I'm proud of my parenting but I'm glad I did the right thing today and it had the desired effect. I suppose he wasn't really punished other than not getting to keep the egg but I think he learned a lesson and I feel it will stick with him.

so many stories of other DCs doing similar so i'm not feeling just as guilty as I did to begin with, still mortifying but at least I'm not alone

I remember stealing a butterfly soap from an old lady my gran took me to visit when i was wee, she actually did the same thing with me and I cried and cried when i had to take it back and face the music. Its just come back to me now after reading all your stories