To have expected a call

[Flexly]

Last night was DH's works leaving do. I haven't heard from him since 5pm yesterday. Admittedly he's done this before, this is the 3rd time in the last 3 months which drives me insane. Both with worry about home and early morning child care.. We both work full time and DH does the mornings, and me the evenings.
So, it's almost 730 and I haven't heard from him. His mobile was a work phone which he handed back yesterday so I have no way of calling him. Out of the 2 colleagues of his I know, one said he left before DH and the other hasn't answered my call or text.
Am I being unreasonable to be so flipping angry/worried..how long do I leave it before doing something (I know not what?)?

In fact, yes, forget packing his suitcase, pack your own, and as he walks through the door, take 5 seconds to check he's okay and capable of caring for your DC, then pick up your own suitcase and breeze out without a word. Stay in a nice hotel overnight. See how he fucking likes it!

What happened with childcare?

He's got previous for this? What were his excuses before. Why are you putting up with this crap? It's so disrespectful.

I remember some years ago a bloke in my social circle would do this to his gf and child. He'd go on benders then not go home, leaving her having to phone in to work citing lack of childcare.

I thought he was a piece of shit to treat her like that, and told him so.

This is totally and utterly not acceptable at all.

Your not being remotely UR, what the fuck is he paying at?

I would be going seriously NUTS if my husband pulled these stunts. When does he usually rock up?

Does he know your phone number by heart?

Has he been to work today? If so, what time is he normally home?

There is no way I'd accept this. Where the hell has he been?

If this was the first time, I'd be ringing the hospitals but seeing as he has form for being an absolute selfish cunt this I'd be ready with my suitcase and a wet fish. To slap round his stupid selfish face.

My dp used to have form for this kind of behaviour

He was shown the door for a while and has since mended his ways

Unacceptable and I agree with a pp who said to leave him with the kids if he is capable upon his return.

I think I would be leaving a black bag of clothes outside the front door if this is a repeated situation in a short time tbh. You must be going out your mind :(

I think you are under reacting. YANBU. He doesn't get to give up his responsibilities when he feels like it. As it's been 24 hrs perhaps go to the police? That should scare him a bit! Not a serious suggestion btw. But putting it in context of how long he's been AWOL.

Personally I'd be tempted to pack a bag and leave it on the doorstep and then not engage with him for a similar period of time. And probably not have him back too.

Woah well the hell is he? Seriously 24 hours I would be ringing the police. Was he due in work or anywhere else today?

Dear god! No? Just NO!

That really does scream "bellend" to me and I'm afraid if it was the third time in as many months then I'd be off.

I would be calling the police. Wherever he is he needs a wake up, I would be absolutely livid if this was me, what a wanker!

He would find his bags packed and sitting at the door waiting for him

7.30 am and no call / sign of him being home and id be worried something was wrong.

This time of night? Id be fucking livid!

My ex used to do this. It started out a night here or there culminating in him disappearing for 5 days when I had a 3 year old and a 2 week old new born after a c section. He still expected to be able to live in the family home and come and go as he pleased.

Men who think it's ok to do this don't change ime.

I am seething on your behalf...how utterly disrespectful. I'd definitely be giving him a suitcase! What excuses has he given for doing this before?

Ignore WashingFanatic, it's not your fault

If you let someone treat you like shit, you can't really complain when they continue to treat you like shit.

Totally unreasonable, him not you! I would be completely furious tbh I don't know how I would deal with it when he did show up but I do know it's this type of behaviour that makes people not want their partners to go out then they get accused of being unfair or clingy

My ex used to do shit like this when it was magic mushroom season.. 3 days later he would come back and say they couldn't find the door to get out and that's why he didn't come home.

He never changed to this day.

You are not being unreasonable.

Two explanations that would be top of my list:

1. One night stand or shagging around with someone
2. Alcohol problems- drinks so much he blacks out and is ill all the next day - but he still could have phoned.

It is totally unacceptable and shitty behaviour. I would be worried sick incase he had had an accident and really angry that he was being so disrespectful and uncaring about me and DC.

What have his previous excuses been?

What a shit. I presume he's staying at the house of the colleague who didn't answer the phone? Or with an OW?

Beyond furious. Yes he's done this on the odd occasion before. Always the same excuse; he got drunk, missed the last tube, went for another, woke up next morning, been utterly remorseful. He's a 42 year old man, there are no more excuses.
Thankfully work are flexible so I was late in and will need to make up the time but at least no aggro there.
Too cross to be too worried just yet

Oh and wash