To think that something's wrong if u can't afford breakfast for your children

[Blossum123]

A friends neighbour constantly says she can't afford her childrens breakfast - the school have started a breakfast club and the children attend for free . Which is good.
Iv been on benifits but how can you not afford breakfast - it's surely the cheapest and easiest meal ? I know some children won't have breakfast but this isn't the case - she claims she can't afford it - makes u wonder what they get for tea

[fluffycow]

Maybe she gets free school lunches and breakfast now so spends her food budget on giving the kids a really good dinner?

[venturingforth]

Benefits for single parents with preschool children are adequate, but I think new laws might mean those with school age children are only entitled to jobseekers. That's what - £72 p/w? Then if she has two children child benefit will mean £100 p/w.

Of course you can afford porridge oats and milk from that, or a bunch of bananas, but it isn't just food a growing family need. Bus fares are a LOT (I have a car, thank god, it cost me £3 to go into town the other day, and she'll need to to sign on!) gas and electricity, shoes and clothes, mobile phone (they are necessary, especially if you're job hunting) landline and internet, TV licence, cleaning items, laundry if they have no washing machine.

Or it's possible it all goes on cigarettes, tattoos and cheap gold jewellery and bronzer; who knows.

[OorWullie]

It sounds like she need some proper support- she's either not getting enough money by whatever means, or she's crap at managing it.

As i said, i spend most of the month being skint, but i do a shop on payday so that i know ds is fed for the month (he's not at school yet either so no free meals) and bills/rent etc is paid. I have very little left over but we are fed and watered and he never goes hungry.

Are you close enough to her to broach the subject with her and suggest she gets some advice? What is her attitude, does she seem bothered or blase about it all?

[PinkSquash]

So OP, how do you plan to help her or are you going to do a cats bum face and look down on her for whatever reason?

You know a lot about friends neighbours childrens teachers!

[Blossum123]

No Iv never spoken to her directly - iv never really seen her . Her and her boyfriend are always screaming at each other / people at the house .
I think if I don't think the kids are been fed in the hols il email ss.
There is no way I can approach her I'm afraid

[smokeandglitter]

Maybe she means she spends the money she has on dinner because it's a bigger meal and so doesn't have money left for breakfast. It's entirely possible, which is why food banks exist. There may be issues with the benefits office, I've found they're certainly not speedy and often get things wrong as it's a complicated process. They actually told me I was committing fraud without realising themselves what they were suggesting would be fraudulent and I hadn't done it. I have known people who can only afford one meal a day due to different situations, some that lurk in very dark corners that you may never find out about.

[Blossum123]

Why am I looking down on her ? I don't know that I can do anything to help her .
Her children as I said previously have told us as are always round at my friends

[Luggagecarousel]

I've never believed that anyone in this country cannot afford to feed their children breakfast. And I hugely resent the money that schools and teachers pay out to feed children because their parents choose not to, ( and it is a choice, in my book)

[TalisaMaegyr]

Your posts scream that you are looking down on her.

Why don't you try and help? Find out where she lives and leave a bag of shopping on her doorstep or something. I don't know why you're so intent on disbelieving her.

[TalisaMaegyr]

Luggage don't be so ridiculous.

[BIWI]

Goodness there are some horrible people on this thread.

It is the case that there are lots of people who, through their circumstances rather than their lifestyle choices, who are skint. So having to make a choice between breakfast and tea may well be one they are having to make.

How about a bit of sympathy/empathy, or ways of thinking how to help - or even being grateful that their school is providing them with the help that they may need?

[FiveFingerDeathPunch]

we need a judgy emotion

but have a

[Blossum123]

Your posts scream that you are looking down on her.

Why don't you try and help? Find out where she lives and leave a bag of shopping on her doorstep or something. I don't know why you're so intent on disbelieving her.


I know where she lives - next door to my friend !
She is aggressive and I'm not putting myself in that position.
I find it hard to understand as something as cheap as bread costs so little

[jacks365]

I was left in a position where the only money I had coming in was child benefit. It takes ages for benefits payments to actually start so yes I struggled to feed the children properly, I did my best though. This woman may be struggling with sanctions, may be in a financially abusive relationship or may be spending it all on drugs. Without knowing exactly what money she has or what she spends it on it would be unreasonable to judge her.

[Blossum123]

Goodness there are some horrible people on this thread.

It is the case that there are lots of people who, through their circumstances rather than their lifestyle choices, who are skint. So having to make a choice between breakfast and tea may well be one they are having to make.

How about a bit of sympathy/empathy, or ways of thinking how to help - or even being grateful that their school is providing them with the help that they may need?

I'm extreamly pleased the school is providing them with meals - as I say it's been playing on my mind as we are coming up to school hols .

[BIWI]

Stop making fucking nasty judgements about someone you don't know.

You have no idea about her real circumstances and all you're doing is bitching about her.

It's not so 'hard to understand'. Some people don't have enough money.

[Blossum123]

I was left in a position where the only money I had coming in was child benefit. It takes ages for benefits payments to actually start so yes I struggled to feed the children properly, I did my best though. This woman may be struggling with sanctions, may be in a financially abusive relationship or may be spending it all on drugs. Without knowing exactly what money she has or what she spends it on it would be unreasonable to judge her.


Totally agree . Not really a clue what's going on but it seems chaotic .kids needs are been met at school but when they break up ?

She is not approachable at all .

[Blossum123]

Add message | Report | Message poster EatShitDerek Wed 25-Jun-14 22:44:58
So this friends neighbour happens to tell you she cant afford to feed her children?

She seems very open


No she isn't at all - it's her children who have told us

[FiveFingerDeathPunch]

Blossum123 Wed 25-Jun-14 22:44:13
Goodness there are some horrible people on this thread.


pmsl
pot
kettle
black

[Luggagecarousel]

There are very few people who genuinely have no money, and there are places they can go for help.

In what way am I uninformed, exactly, coldlightofday? I'm sick of people refusing to feed their children and draining everyone else's resources. Schools/teachers there to educate, not provide breakfast that parents could provide, but don't.

[Blossum123]

Stop making fucking nasty judgements about someone you don't know.

You have no idea about her real circumstances and all you're doing is bitching about her.

It's not so 'hard to understand'. Some people don't have enough money.



I aren't making personal judgements about her .im concerned what will happen with her children as we are quickly approaching summer hols .
It is hard to understand how on a regular basis someone can not afford a loaf of bread
Breakfast for a week for the children would cost under £1 not such a issue now they are at breakfast club but I can't see how someone can't buy a 40 p loaf of bread a week