To not want to help out at play school

[Sparklypants]

My DS has recently started at a play-school, which he loves and the nursery staff are great but.....I have been handed a piece of paper with my name and a date on it, in which they expect me to go in and stay to be a parent helper for that session.

There's a few reasons that this has irritated me, firstly, I haven't been crb checked and as I haven't been I'm certain that the other parents/step parents/grandparents haven't been. I'm not the sort to see peadophiles around every corner but they don't know who I am or who any of the other parent/carers are. This concerns me. I expected the people looking after DS would be qualified and crb checked.

Also, a bit more selfishly, I simply don't want to give up the only time I get to be by myself (a whopping 2 1/2 hrs). I'm a single sahm and this is honestly the only time I get for me (to clean the house without it being destroyed behind me!)

I'm annoyed that they didn't let me know that this is what they do at this particular play-school when he started, and also that they didn't even ask me if that date was ok with me. To be honest I can't see DS getting much out of the session that I'm present for. He will want to stay with me and play, like we do all the time at home. The whole point of sending to a play school was so he could socialise without me there, to become more reliant on himself and other adults.

Before I get flamed for not wanting to be involved in my DS school life, I fully expect, and want to help out on trips and such like, but I resent being TOLD I have to help and when.

Aibu???

poster Trollsworth Tue 24-Jun-14 19:43:50
And I think this must be a south east thing, becaus not one of the play schools round here pulls this nonsense.

Nope. I am in Scotland and that's how playgroups work here too. How else can you get childcare for £15 for school hours? I was on the management committee and it's a difficult job.

Govmt don't fund the pre-school, OP, they 'buy places' so the parent gets it for free, and the pre-school/playgroup/nursery loses money on every single place

No, we didn't. The funded places brought in more, AFAIK.

I agree mirandagoshawk, I was completely wrong about the crb thing. I never considered the logistics of checking every person that helps out, as I said, it's just what I assumed. I also agree that anyone can be checked and just not be caught or committed a crime yet. As i said, i thought it was the law. I know different now.

I hope that's how it is for me, it would be good to end up enjoying it so I'm not dreading it next time and I'm certain that my DS will love me being there. I've got a good couple of weeks to get my head around it too

I haven't read the whole thread but...

... my children's pre-school did this too. It wasn't presented as a compulsory thing, but they actively encouraged people in. It looks good for Ofsted, as parental involvement is something they look for. I never did it because it's just not my thing - and I didn't see why I should pay for care and then give up my time too. I did Chair the management committee though.

Re: crb (dbs in new money). You can volunteer in pre-schools, schools, youth groups without a dbs, as long as you don't undertake certain tasks, like toileting of little ones, camping overnight etc. More important for everyone, to my mind, is a culture of safeguarding, where there are clear policies about mobile phones, for instance, everyone is aware of not being alone with a single child, there are clear lines of reporting etc. A dbs will only stop the people who have been caught already.

we do this at my childrens playgroup, there is a parent helper everyday and we are expected to help out the amount of days our children are in per term. ie, my daughter is in for 4 days a week, i help 4 days per term.
I can take her younger brother in with me. I can have her granny or auntie help out instead.
Its basically a charity, it survives on the money it receives from the government and from all our fundraising. I would much rather they have more money for trips and new toys etc than employing another staff member. I am actually going to be the treasurer soon, my daughter has 2 years there and my son will be starting soon so i'll be around a lot!
I'm also hoping that it'll keep my brain busy and look good on my CV :)

But i agree, they should've informed you of all this before.

I thought this was the norm, but they should have told you in advance.

Mind you, it's good practice for all the things school will also assume you know without being told...

Speaking from experience the giving parents a choice of dates, or asking people to sign up for the dates they can/want to do is a huge administrative job and a bit of a nightmare: same few names on the list, somebody who'll only volunteer when their best friend X was doing it, others consistently saying 'well I can't do any of the dates left' etc etc

We moved to an allocating dates and everyone having to do a turn system and it actually caused many fewer arguments - mostly people could do the day, and if not they arranged a swap.

OP I think you ABslightlyU - very few people actually want to do these things but it takes a hell of a lot more than a government grant to run a good preschool.

Oh and get used to it - lots of kids activities are run this way now: help out occasionally, take a turn to wash the kit etc or your child doesn't get to come. I did used to worry it was unfair but you know, it's never the single mums of 3 who work full time, or the mum caring for a disabled child and an aging parent who don't try and chip in its always the same old commitment-phobes and, oh, fathers!

Totally normal here and they had dads week, mums week, grandparents week too. The children love family coming in.