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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Paying for petrol - take baby or leave in car?

173 replies

OooOooTheMonkey · 23/06/2014 20:21

Not really an AIBU, more a question to get a general feel. Posting here for traffic really.

I usually use pay at pump but was reading a story about a woman (in the US) who left her baby in the car when paying for petrol (and presumably didn't lock the car) thieves stole her car, but they dropped the baby off in the car seat elsewhere where she was found by a jogger.

Do you a) leave your baby in your locked car to pay for petrol. Or b) take the baby in with you? What if the baby is sleeping do you take the whole car seat?

I guess there are other dangers other than theft - fire, explosions. What do you all do? Is there "official" advice?

OP posts:
Adsss · 25/06/2014 09:56

I tried googling and the first few posts were all mumsnet AIBU Grin Next few pages other forums .

zoemaguire · 25/06/2014 11:19

The irony of course is that the greatest risk is taking the kids out in the car in the first place!

ICanHearYou · 25/06/2014 11:44

But zoe, risk is irrelevant if little Tarquinn is going to get upset for 2 minutes.

Delphiniumsblue · 25/06/2014 18:31

My friend who has triplet babies has no option- she can't carry them all!

TheRealAmandaClarke · 25/06/2014 18:46

I don't see anyone suggesting that risk is irrelevant Ican. No one has suggested a course of action that presents any significant increase in risk in order to prevent their child from being upset for 2 minutes.

Again your comments are rude and derisory. (which I know is all part of the entertainment value of aibu)
And slightly irrelevant because as Zoe points out, we're all talking about situations whereby our dcs are out in the car, which is itself a risk.

And I disagree about the risk of the car catching fire being more likely than it being broken into. Thefts of and from in petrol stations are not that uncommon. Besides, both are less of a problem if no one was in the car.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 25/06/2014 18:49

No delphinium she can't. Unless she uses whatever she usually carts them about in of course.
So she makes the best choice for her. Which is quite right.

Delphiniumsblue · 25/06/2014 19:02

I think other motorists wouldn't be happy if she set up the pram, clipped all the seats on - then reversed it after she had paid!
One baby is easy- one baby, a toddler and a 4 yr old are not!

Delphiniumsblue · 25/06/2014 19:04

I feel sure that taking them out is a MN thing- otherwise it would be a common sight and I never see it!

TheRealAmandaClarke · 25/06/2014 19:10

It's definitely not an MN thing. I do it and I see oths doing it.
By far the most sensible approach I've found is to get fuel when they're not with me, to have dh fill up or to use pay at pump.
When my ds was tiny I couldn't bear to have him out of reach. If I was going into a shop or petrol station kiosk I would take him using the car seat. Now he's older and I have dd then I sometimes leave them in the car. Sometimes not. Depends on the place and time and weather etc.
So I maintain that we all can weight up what suits us without feeling that our choice is wrong just because someone else might not do the same thing.

Talisawasnotsupposedtobethere · 26/06/2014 09:40

I still don't understand the not locking the door thing? Surely at a petrol station, which is normally a pretty small area, you (with the keys) would see a fire just a quickly as anyone on the forecourt?

I always lock the door because I worry someone might swipe one of the out of the car Blush

ICanHearYou · 26/06/2014 11:13

I don't lock the door so that people can get to the children in an emergency.

I watched a harrowing video on Facebook about a little boy left in a car. Was very traumatic

TheRealAmandaClarke · 26/06/2014 11:26

I worry.
I worry about fire, theft, abduction, overheating in the car, being distressed.
All solved by taking them with me. Which is what I usually do. Not always, but as a rule.
When I'm not at work I pretty much have the little gooseberries with me all the time anyway. One holding hand, one on the hip. Easy peasy. Grin

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 26/06/2014 11:27

I used to see it as an ideal opportunity to buy bread, milk etc without having to get them out of the car and go to a normal shop with them. It never occurred to me to take them in when they were babies/toddlers, or to try and go when I was on my own. They never cried, never got upset. I still don't now at 10 and 8yo, unless they particularly want to come in and buy something, they are used to staying in the car. I can't lock them in as the alarm would go off if they moved, can't remember if I used to with other cars.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 26/06/2014 11:30

I Wonder if I'll feel differently when they're older. It's hard to know.

Mozzereena · 26/06/2014 12:02

I always took the baby in the babyseat out of the car to pay in the kiosk unless pay at pump was available.

NoodleOodle · 06/09/2014 07:33

I honestly can't remember what I used to do. If I had a small child now though, I'd probably lock them in the car.

Peppa87 · 06/09/2014 10:02

I always pay at the pump and lock doors with baby inside. I feel it us safe to do this as i am still with my car.
If paying at the pump wasn't an option i would never leave my baby in the car alone doors locked or not. I would take her to the shop with me to pay.
Once she is at an age i felt comfortable leaving her, maybe 9 or 10 i would lock up and nip in the shop to pay.

WaywardOn3 · 06/09/2014 11:05

If you do leave baby in the car don't expect to automatically be allowed to jump the queue or expect a till to be opened up just for you. If you do either of these things please do expect the staff to comment about you and your behaviour among themselves and other customers "sorry for your wait but some diva left her baby in the car and queue jumped".

If you do make sure you leave windows open a crack and the doors locked.

Or just go to one that gives you the option to pay at the pump :-)

Beatrixemerald · 06/09/2014 11:38

I had this dilemma the first time last week, left dd (11 weeks) fast asleep and locked her in whilst I went to pay. could see the car the whole time etc but when I got back to the car she was screaming, must have woken up and realised I wasnt there. it was totally awful and I am only going to do pay at pump now for time being

PumpkinPie2013 · 06/09/2014 13:49

I usually fuel up on my way to work (I pass a petrol station literally round the corner from my work) at which point I have already dropped ds off at nursery so no issue.

If for some reason I'm filling up when he's with me I pay at pump or take him.

About 10 years ago some friends of my parents nearly lost their 3 year old dd as her grandma left her in a locked car outside school while she stood about 15 feet away waiting for her other grandchild to come out of school (it was raining very hard). In the space of 10 mins a woman had managed to convince the child to open the door and had walked off down the street with her!! It was pure luck that the older child hurried out and the grandma spotted the younger child down the road with a stranger and managed to run and grab her.

So, personally I wouldn't risk it.

specialsubject · 06/09/2014 13:59

the Americans are not relevant, it doesn't generally get that hot for so long in the UK. (BTW the reason we have those murderous airbags is because the yanks wouldn't wear seatbelts...)

babies (strapped immobile) stay in the car, with the car locked. Older children stay in the car and behave. Those in the in-between stage (too old to stay in place, too young to be trusted) - judgement call.

never leave the car unlocked on a forecourt and especially never with the keys in. Obvious? So you'd think but cars do get nicked with keys in.

KitCat26 · 06/09/2014 15:08

Mine have always stayed in a locked car whilst I pay.

I will do that until they are old enough to stay at home on their own.

stripedtortoise · 07/09/2014 17:10

Lock car. Leave baby. Go in and pay.

I can't live my life on WHAT IF.

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