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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Paying for petrol - take baby or leave in car?

173 replies

OooOooTheMonkey · 23/06/2014 20:21

Not really an AIBU, more a question to get a general feel. Posting here for traffic really.

I usually use pay at pump but was reading a story about a woman (in the US) who left her baby in the car when paying for petrol (and presumably didn't lock the car) thieves stole her car, but they dropped the baby off in the car seat elsewhere where she was found by a jogger.

Do you a) leave your baby in your locked car to pay for petrol. Or b) take the baby in with you? What if the baby is sleeping do you take the whole car seat?

I guess there are other dangers other than theft - fire, explosions. What do you all do? Is there "official" advice?

OP posts:
CrispyFB · 23/06/2014 21:23

I leave the door unlocked because I figure if I get run over or something, I want somebody to be able to get the children out! Especially on a hot day. I suppose I'd have my keys on me that somebody could take to rescue them but they might not realise until I'm in an ambulance or whatever.. okay, far-fetched, but so is something happening whilst I'm in the shop paying!

Also if somebody smacks into the car (most likely bad thing to happen besides being run over in a petrol station in my book) it's a lot quicker for somebody standing nearby to fish my children out than it is for me to leg it back with the keys.

Unless I have left something unusually valuable in monetary terms and on display in the car, there's no risk in leaving it unlocked as I'd have my handbag (with keys) with me. Nobody would want to steal my noisy DC Grin

I suppose there's always a hostage situation involving the children, but now I'm really grasping at straws..

ChaosTrulyReigns · 23/06/2014 21:24

Thanks, Writer!

The clarifies it. Wink

ThursdayLast · 23/06/2014 21:28

I leave DS (14mo) in the car. Always have.
IMO the faff is greater than the risk.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 23/06/2014 21:30

Never took mine, left them in their seats with the car unlocked (in case the alarm went off) but child locks on the back doors. They've never minded, never had any problem with it at all. No pay at pump ones in our town.

It has never crossed my mind that someone might hit the car (25 years of buying petrol most weeks and never seen that happen). In fact I've never given it all that much thought at all, just seems the logical thing to do to me.

DeWee · 23/06/2014 21:31

I've never been to a petrol station where you can't watch the car the entire time you're in the shop.

I used to take ds out when he was a toddler, only because he could escape, and used to find the most entertaining distructive things to do. I once got back to the car to find in the 2 minutes I'd gone he'd posted 10 of change through the heaters. It is still there.

However now aged 7yo he knows how to fill the car up by himself, which is a useful skill in life. I did it for my disabled grandad from that sort of age.

CrispyFB · 23/06/2014 21:33

Yep, I should add we have childlocks on the door and they're strapped in, obviously!!

And for an added bonus, there's an internal motion sensor alarm which I have no idea how to disable so that's the other more practical/less anxiety-related reason Grin

LemonBreeland · 23/06/2014 21:35

I have never taken my dc out of the car at the petrol station. I have also never seen anyone do this. Would love to know where everyone lives who does this.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 23/06/2014 21:37

It's illegal for under 16s to use petrol pumps in the UK.

MehsMum · 23/06/2014 21:40

Left them in the car, did NOT lock the doors: they were strapped in with child locks on, but if the car had been rear-ended or similar, I would have wanted someone (including me in a panic) to be able to get them out.

By the time they were old enough to get themselves out, they knew they had to stay put unless there was a crisis.

Delphiniumsblue · 23/06/2014 21:40

Leave in the car- much safer.
When I fill up I have never seen small children trailed across a forecourt.
(If I was waiting in a queue it would be highly irritating)

shatteredboo · 23/06/2014 21:42

I would usually use pay at pump, although I have been known to dash inside to pay if none are available, cursing any slow paying people in front of me.
It is apparently technically an offence to leave a child under 16 alone for any length of time in a locked car. I seem to recall Laurence Fox getting into a bit of bother recently for leaving his child in the car while he dashed into a chemist.

Original poster
OooOooTheMonkey · 23/06/2014 21:54

Yes shattered I read that, I wonder if you could actually get in trouble for it as it's such a normal thing to do?
Found the Daily Fail take on it.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2556301/PC-branded-disgusting-leaving-son-car-minutes-says-TV-star-Laurence-Fox.html

OP posts:
NeedsAsockamnesty · 23/06/2014 22:08

It's not actually clearly defined as an offence in the uk.

As in it does not expressly state that leaving a child in a car is neglect or abandonment,if the car is in your line of sight (as it would be in most petrol stations) calling it abandonment would be clutching at straws

Original poster
OooOooTheMonkey · 23/06/2014 22:33

Thanks, Needs, for clarifying Grin I wondered what the law actually was and couldn't find anything on google.

OP posts:
Embolio · 23/06/2014 22:47

No pay at pump stations near me (arse end of nowhere),I leave mine in the car, strapped in and car locked- I think its more dangerous to trail two toddlers across the garage forecourt. I do live in a safe area in that I'm not worried about my (crappy) car getting nicked. It is also never that hot, if it was I would think twice.

Having said all that, more often than not I fill up when they aren't with me.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 24/06/2014 00:09

I can't remember the precise wording but its the bit in the children's act that refers to neglect and abandonment,the same bit that covers all sorts.

People often misunderstand it and assume it means something it does not especially when it comes to this topic and using baby sitters or leaving children alone.

There is no legal age where its actually defined exactly what is a suitable age to leave a child unsupervised but people often think there is. However if you do leave them at risk of harm or harm does happen then you can be prosecuted.

It would be unusual for you not to be prosecuted if say you left a under 8 home alone whilst you went out but very unusual if it was a 13yo.

A baby or small child left in the car whilst you went round the supermarket or to a place where the car was out of sight I would say was quite likely to be an issue but just to pay for fuel when you can see the car the vast majority of people would just view that as taking a sensible approach weighing up 2 risks and deciding 1 was less likely.

I don't think I have ever seen a baby or toddler being removed from a car to pay for fuel other than in those service station type places where you can't see the car and its likely to take quite awhile

areyoumymother · 24/06/2014 00:16

I wouldn't leave my toddler on her own in a car for any length of time, anywhere. She'd become stressed and anxious. But there is only one of her.

Cuteypatootey · 24/06/2014 02:06

I usually pay at the pump but when my card failed I did take her inside with me.

TheMuppetsIsWhereIShouldBe · 24/06/2014 02:13

Lock my DS in the car. Tbh the noise he makes they bring him back or well find him by the heard of banshee he'll attract! Wink

MinesAPintOfTea · 24/06/2014 02:25

I usually leave ds in the car, although yesterday in the heat and my laptop in the car (so I didn't want to leave windows open) I took him in.

Its a balancing of risks.

Want2bSupermum · 24/06/2014 02:51

We take it for granted that the state of New Jersey has attendants so no one leaves their car. When we are in NY or PA we leave the car running in winter or summer and utilize the remote start function. I can lock the car but keep it running so the heat/air conditioning stays on. If out of state either DH or I fill up the car without the kids if on our own or one of us stays in the car.

Some of you may laugh at Americans keeping their car switched on but it is a very serious issue. This is the article that our paediatrican shared with us two days after we got home from the hospital:

www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html

Xcountry · 24/06/2014 13:45

I leave mine In the car but the chances are if I am traveling with the kids, I am also traveling with the dogs and any potential thief would do well to find a good plastic surgeon before opening that car door

littlepeas · 24/06/2014 13:48

I would rather leave them (3 under 6) in the car than drag them across the forecourt, but I try to fill up when I'm alone if I can.

maninawomansworld · 24/06/2014 13:53

Leave baby in car - but lock it as if you were leaving it for an hour (locked doors, no open windows / sunroof etc..).

ICanHearYou · 24/06/2014 13:57

All this about children being too hot, surely if you've just driven the car so with aircon/window open and breeze coming in, you park at the petrol station UNDER THE BIG ROOF THINGY THAT PROVIDES SHADE AND RAIN COVER and then you go in and pay, how is a car going to get so hot it kills someone in that time? I think it is highly HIGHLY unlikely otherwise we would all hear about it in the summer.

Anyway I try and not drive in the middle of the day in the summer because its awful, I would always get fuel/be driving in the cooler morning or later afternoon times.