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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to really not get why some people hate gays?

95 replies

wilfsfrozenbanana · 23/06/2014 14:32

Just seen this article about an opera singer in Australia who wrote on facebook that gays are "faecal masses" and that she is pleased when they get their jaws broken. See here; www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jun/23/soprano-tamar-iveri-dropped-opera-australia-anti-gay

I just don't get this visceral hatred of gays. It's nobody else's business what people do sexually in their bedroom. Why so much hatred for people because of their sexuality?

OP posts:
paulapantsdown · 23/06/2014 14:33

Its always been a mystery to me too. I really could not care less what other adults do in bed!

WallyBantersJunkBox · 23/06/2014 14:37

Because some people are just fucking stupid. And also it's a mindset of prejudice passed down by generations and peer group thinking.

Whether it was her or her husband, they certainly didn't mind being on the payroll of the Western Faecal masses when it came to employment then!

rubyslippers · 23/06/2014 14:37

Isn't all hatred irrational?

Gileswithachainsaw · 23/06/2014 14:38

Some people are just a waste of oxygen. Why anyone would remotely care is beyond me.

Pumpkinpositive · 23/06/2014 14:41

You might as well ask why some people hate women, ethnic minorities, Sikhs, Muslims, Buddhists, Catholics, Protestants, men, disabled people, Jews, Americans, people with purple hair and so on and so on.

beccajoh · 23/06/2014 14:44

Why does anyone hate anyone else for a reason that person can't change? Some people are just weird.

wilfsfrozenbanana · 23/06/2014 14:48

But people can change religion/choose not to believe in anything but gay people can't just choose to become straight. It's not something they can decide upon.

OP posts:
QisforQcumber · 23/06/2014 15:07

"Because some people are just fucking stupid."

^Sums it up for me.

Usually accompanied by some form of self loathing or a misplaced superiority complex. People are fucking weird sometimes.

MaidOfStars · 23/06/2014 15:08

Why so much hatred for people because of their sexuality?

Religion. I have never seen a secular/atheist argument for hating gay people/homosexuality.

(Not saying that all/most/many religious people hate homosexuality, before anyone flames me).

runningonwillpower · 23/06/2014 15:11

I think some people are just wired to judge others - for whatever reason - because it makes them feel better about their personal inadequacies.

HermioneWeasley · 23/06/2014 15:20

Agree with Maid, a lot of the public frothing is down to religion.

But I think some people have a lot of internalised homophobia and find it "icky" and assume that all gay folk of the same sex will fancy them

DogCalledRudis · 23/06/2014 15:21

Some people are just uncomfortable

Appletini · 23/06/2014 15:26

Discomfort.

Religion is a reason people hide behind but ultimately it comes down to discomfort and distaste.

Which is shit.

NynaevesSister · 23/06/2014 15:30

I'd have to disagree a little. Religion has an appalling attitude here. But I've heard a lot of anti-gay rubbish from people who've never set foot in a church in their lives. Usually they start with it being 'not natural'.

Well of course it's not natural if you're not gay. And if you were gay you'd find heterosexual intercourse pretty repulsive too. Think it through for crying out loud.

WolfMoon · 23/06/2014 15:40

This is something I have never ever got either. Why the hell would anyone care what someone else chooses to do with their genitals?! Utterly bizarre.

BackOnlyBriefly · 23/06/2014 15:46

It's religion in nearly all cases. I think if you examine the other instances you will find that the homophobes come from a religious tradition. As David Cameron likes to say "this is a Christian country" and it has "Christian traditions" which are part of our culture. One of those traditions is to hate groups of people previously selected by the church (Gay people, Jews, black people, Muslims, unbelievers and so on)

AMumInScotland · 23/06/2014 15:49

I think in some cases it threatens a person's view of 'how things are' or at least 'how they ought to be' and their reaction to feeling threatened is to get their attack in first.

People will argue that it's 'not natural' and talk about evolution, or that it's 'obviously' wrong, or that it's against God's will. But it boils down to "I like the idea that people fall into two neat genders, and sexual attraction and relationships are neat and tidy one-of-each, and I don't want to have to deal with life being more complicated than that"

Men in particular I think feel threatened that another man might fancy them - they are not used to thinking they might be on the receiving end of unwanted lust. And also that women who are gay are deliberately making themselves 'unavailable' to men which goes against their tendency to think that women 'ought' to be available, at least in theory.

Religion gives people an excuse. But the reason religions label things as 'unacceptable' is usually just codifying what the society in which the religion developed felt anyway.

Pumpkinpositive · 23/06/2014 15:57

But people can change religion/choose not to believe in anything

I think they would argue that they can't. And in certain countries of the world they literally can't under pain of death! as witnessed in a recent high profile case. But faith isn't as simple as "choosing not to believe." If you do believe! it's not a switch you can just turn off any more than atheism is.

but gay people can't just choose to become straight. It's not something they can decide upon.

No, they can't decide to become straight. But they can decide whether of not to pursue sexual relationships with members of their sex over and against say, celibacy. No reason why they should but that's the sort of "hate the sin, love the sinner" argument you'd get from bigots religious extremists.

Pumpkinpositive · 23/06/2014 16:01

Why the hell would anyone care what someone else chooses to do with their genitals?! Utterly bizarre.

Except that most societies do. Incest, even between consenting adults, is still a criminal offence in the UK.

Man the other week was convicted after cleaners unexpectedly entered his hostel bedroom to find him in a compromising situation with his er... bicycle.

bigdog888 · 23/06/2014 16:11

I think the folk who say it's not natural actually mean not normal. I mean if you are born gay then of course it's natural. Biologically speaking then I guess for the human race it's not normal, otherwise we'd be pretty stuffed, but to hate someone just because they're attracted to people of the same sex is just stupid. It's not like you or your kids are going to catch 'the gay' and even if it did I don't see a problem - it's not like it makes you less of a person!

morethanpotatoprints · 23/06/2014 16:23

It is so ironic that it was an opera singer who said this.
My dd is only 10 but so desperately wants to be an opera singer when older.
her teacher is fantastic, the best we could afford and has an amazing cv,
and just happens to be gay.
There are people we know who would do anything for lessons from this man irrespective of his sexuality.
Maybe the opera singers problem is due to jealousy of somebody in particular. She may see her audiences drop now as a result of this.

whatsthatcomingoverthehill · 23/06/2014 17:05

Countries with a non-religious foundation are not so well renowned for their inclusivity (North Korea, USSR etc). People are people and are generally either judgy twats or not.

CheerfulYank · 23/06/2014 17:12

I know some religious people who think being gay is wrong but are not nasty or hateful about it, or cruel to people who are gay. (Well, I guess not being gay itself, but acting on it, is what they consider wrong.)

I think it just comes down to whether you are a hateful person or not.

HavantGuard · 23/06/2014 17:16

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8772014

TinklyLittleLaugh · 23/06/2014 17:20

From past experience I tend to assume that most rabid homophobes are deeply, deeply in the closet themselves.