to think if your first office job is in your 30s its too hard to adjust

[spegal]

Hi,

I've started an office job in my 30s, its been a month and still just finding it a miserable and boring existence. Such dull conversations and other people seam to delight in pointing out minor mistakes or picking arguments over little things. To be honest I really don't care about it all, I'm just like whatever its not like anyone is going to die if something isn't perfect.

I'm coming to the conclusion I'm just not an office 9-6 kind of person. Maybe if I had started in my 20s I could of coped. But now I've had such a great life not sat in offices it makes it so hard.

Am I being stuck up or does anyone see my point of view?

Might just stick it out till Xmas for the cash

Yanbu op. I did office work for 7 years and mostly hated it for exactly the reasons you describe. Stuck in a room with people you have nothing in common with, listening to them talking about the most inane stuff, all the bitchyness and pedandary...it was hell.

So I started temping, which was more bearable as when I got sick of one place I'd just move on to the next. Then I had the brainwave of getting in touch with festivals and trying to get work in festival offices, which was a lot more fun as the people I worked with were more my kind of people. Did that for 3 years before I had my dc and I've run my own business since then.

Definitely sounds like you are working in the wrong kind of office.

All depends on the office. My first job was in an office/company with a great, fun, dynamic atmosphere full of interesting people. I stayed five years and loved going in every day. My second job was in ostensibly the same industry and same type of company, but the office was awful to work in. People were on a completely different wavelength, everyone just sat in their own corner and tapped away, any conversation was v. serious and earnest.

I jacked the second one in after a year. I kept expecting it to get better, it didnt. If you have other options, look into them. When you work full time the office is such a big part of your life that it's worth trying to find a situation that doesn't make you miserable. Its a big gripe of mine that company/office culture is something that's hard to get a feel of in a job interview, yet for me is a massive factor in whether a job is desirable or not.

I'm in my 30s and slats worked in retail sales. I couldn't enjoy office work. The reason I like detail is because I enjoy talking to different people. I couldn't talk to the same people day in day out.
In the retail environment I work ini get to spend at least 30mins with my customers, follow ups etc so it's perfect for now.

OP I do sympathise because you are getting a roasting, but you haven't actually said what your degrees or internships were in? The point of an internship is to give you skills and experience in your chosen career, in order to improve employability.

I wonder at an internship and study period of over 10 years (presumably from 18 years old through your 20s) that resulted in you giving out cheese samples. Why are you not pursuing the career you studied and interned in?

Also whilst I appreciate some 'office jobs' may be dull, mine is certainly not. I work (with my three degrees) as a scientist, which is what my degrees were in. If you were lump all office jobs as 'dull', this is like saying all cheese samples are mozzarella

I would suggest that you look at it from point of view of trying to decide what you actually want to do. Do you want to use your degrees? Or do you want to work with people? If an office job helps you achieve this then you might have to suck it up for now and use it as a positive experience to get where you want to be.

Be careful though throwing your mention of degrees into every argument. Degrees are, after all, just a bit of paper if you don't apply them. An English graduate working as a bartender is a bartender. Equally a scientist working as a fisherman is a fisherman. A degree is worth nothing if you don't apply it.

^That.

My degree can't change a tyre and work a forklift, and most employers in my field would regard it as a negative. Can't have the drivers knowing more than the management.

OP, you say you'd like to do something you like for less money, but then you didn't pursue the Mental Health Support Worker angle because of low pay.

Have you decided after your training that you don't want to be in the industry you trained for?

Were both your degrees in the same subject area?

Is the job you are doing now in the same subject area that you trained in?

Have you thought of doing the Myers Briggs questionnaire?

I am a teacher and there are many days when I jump out of bed excited to go to work.

The same when I was a student and had a part time retail job?

Did you not need a job while you were a student?

Could you adjust your degrees to do something you are more interested in (e.g law conversion)?

Tbh I think working with you would really get me down with your attitude. Jobs like life are what you make of it.

I couldn't deal with office chat in most of my previous jobs either, it left me feeling very alienated, like I was some big weirdo for not being interested in things that most people were really engaged with.

But as I said earlier, if you keep thinking of it as 'my coworkers are so boring' you won't get anywhere, you need to turn it around to 'I just don't fit in here, let's look for something else'

Try to think of different kinds of places that might remove this element of boring chitchat -- for example, one of my favourite jobs was at a library, not least because there was very little talking allowed! It was very serene.

If you have two degrees you must like school, does library work appeal? Not local libraries so much as they're all being cut back, but university libraries or government archives? Museums?

Thanks for the messages from people that understand where I'm coming from.

To the people still having a go at me, I never said I was better than other people because I have two degrees people asked what I was doing so I replied factually.

Can you answer the questions people have raised? Otherwise it's tricky to offer any solutions.

Tbh I think I've had enough advice on here.

I just mentioned once that I studied for two degrees in answer to someones question and that seams to get me a roasting. Heaven forbid if I answer that one was for a fluffy but fun subject

I worked in a corporate environment for years, had six years off (lived abroad had babies etc) and returned to work....I couldn't believe how hard it was to sit still after years of running around. Took me ages to adjust.

Definitely try something else OP.
Life is too short to be unhappy at work for 30 plus hours a week

I don't get it either OP. I can only guess they are jealous of your achievements and opportunities. I hope you bin off the lousy office job and find something you enjoy. You are obviously used to using your brain and will no doubt be happier something a bit less tedious. Good luck

YouMakeMeHappy - don't make me laugh, her co-workers are jealous of her achievements and opportunities?!

I have never ever (or rarely) experienced that in most offices I've worked in. Most tend to employ adults of varying experience (life, education etc).

Little Miss High and Mighty needs to go on www.sugardaddies.com.

People are trying to help OP, not having a go. My point about mentioning degrees is because I used to do just that whilst working in hospitality and actually inadvertently got people's' backs up. Took someone pointing it out to make me realise

I really hope you find something you like to do. Lots of the posts here have good solid suggestions and there actually is some useful advice.

It's hard when you've not found something you love yet but you will get there!

Not her co-workers, I meant your type. I can just picture your sneer. Showed yourself up there by suggesting she's after a sugar daddy. Why would you jump to that conclusion I wonder?

YouMakeMe - my TYPE?!

I'm a hard working office woman and have been since I was 17. Some little Princess like the OP who takes the advice, shoves it back in my face and has little or no work ethic, well I think a Sugar Daddy would be by FAR her best option.

I saw she works 3 days a week and has the other 2 days off. Bless her. SNEER

I have only one degree and English is my second language. But I learned the difference between seam and seem a long while ago.

Ugh, what a disgusting personality you have!

I somewhat agree with that you need to put more effort into this job while you have it. But I don't think that means you should consign yourself to a life of office work forever if you don't like it.

I'm very much of the opinion you should throw yourself into whatever you are doing as much as you are able in order to get everything out of it that you can. It may well be that your job isn't very rewarding, and the people you work with aren't the sort of people you'd normally spend much time with. But you will have a less wasted experience there if you try and find out about those people on their terms. Find out what makes cars and holidays exciting to them. People are fascinating and anytime we stereotype or dismiss them we are missing out on understanding something about humanity and how the mind works. Work out how your job really effects others, is there any satisfaction in it done really well? Do you develop any skills (improve your ability to pay attention to detail, increase your typing speed, leaarn how to use excel)? Anyone of those things might be useful down the line doing something you love. It might not, but just as no one will have died if your job wasn't done well, no one will die if you put some effort in - and your mind will stay sharper.

In most offices, even dull ones, there's plenty to create a rich inner life with. You don't have to buy into it, be an observer from the outside. Dull jobs don't have to suck the creativity out of you - you just need to use them in a different way.

Having said all that, I am also of the opinion that life is too short to spend years at something that is not satisfying. So look around for something different while you are there and see what else you can learn elsewhere.

I don't think it's your age that makes you unable to adapt - I think it' your attitude.

there are many things to take from a job you don't like, in particular:

• you learn more about what motivates you, what sort of environment suits you, etc from knowing what doesn't work for you

• think about what skills you're picking up, and not just task-related ones. e.g. you might have a competency-based interview for your next role, where they might ask questions such as "how did you deal with a situation where you disagreed with someone". you may find in your current role that there is a good example of that happening and how you deal with it can help you in future. (this is how i make myself feel better anyway after particularly difficult days at work - saying to myself "this will sound good in a competency-based interview!")

Genuine question spegal, why are you so sure it's the office environment that bothers you and not just this particular job? Several people have asked if you are working the field that you trained in and you did not answer. People have tried to help but I am getting the feeling that you're just not enjoying the word of employment which is unfortunate because it forms quite a big part of adulthood for most people!

The more of OPs posts I read, the more I agree with the very first reply.