Ds2 will be 5 next month. Recently, dh found a lovely old-fashioned picnic hamper he had bought his df unused in his df's house. He commented to his dm (they are divorced) that he may as well have it back, and the next time she spoke to him she said she had spoken to the df and he was happy to give it back as he wasn't getting any use out of it and it is going to waste.
Apparently, mil then told dh that she thought ds2 would 'love it' and that it would make a great toy-box (he already has one) 
. She said that we ought to give it to him for his birthday, but with the strict understanding that it must be shared and used for picnics as and when it is needed. Dh seemed really enthusiastic and said what a great idea "isn't it?" with the glint in his eye he gets when he is determined about something.
I think it is very unfair to give anyone, let alone a 5yr old, a gift with the proviso that it is not really theirs and must be used for something else when dictated. I have never been given a gift and told I must share it, and I'm pretty sure dh and mil haven't either. It really is lovely, and I would like to use it as a hamper, not have ds climbing in it, spilling glitter in it, and potentially being upset when he has to give it up regularly throughout the summer. I just don't see the point. He has developed a fair few new interests lately and there are plenty of other things I can think of to get him. This just seem utterly pointless.
Mil does tend to interfere and, though dh has got better over the years, he still has a tendency to fall over himself to please her. In addition, we are going through a very rocky patch atm, and it feels like if I voice my disagreement, he will accuse me of 'hating his mother' (I don't, though I do hate it when she interferes and he backs her.)
AIBU?