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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DH NO...you know nothing about anything and I am the boss of this?

37 replies

MrsWinnibago · 22/06/2014 00:08

We live in a tiny flat. It's not ideal but it's all we can afford and we're doing our best to make it nice.

Storage is at a premium so we've just rejigged the kitchen a bit and gained about 4 feet of space. It's to the left as you enter our miniscule kitchen.

It's not large enough for a table or anything and DH is wanting to put floor to ceiling shelves in there.

I asked what for? All the cupboards are well organised and there's plenty of space for food and crockery etc.

He says "For bags and things"

Hmm

We have a cupboard for that. It's a mess at the moment as he's not built the shoe rack he promised and needs more hooks.

An open floor to ceiling shelving thing will look FUGLY and what's more, I don't want bags and shite on display! I told him to make something with doors so stuff can be hidden...he's all "What for? You want a show kitchen...it won't happen here!"

As though I can't have things nice because it's bloody tiny! AIBU to insist he either makes a little thing with doors or just leaves it alone? I suggested a butcher's block on castors...then we'd have extra counter space and some hooks beneath for hanging shite on...or a vegetable rack thing...but not TONNES of random shelves for BAGS!!!

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LetTheRiverAnswer · 22/06/2014 00:12

Have you just moved in? If so bide you're time and see how you use the kitchen and what you need. Then you can stage as fact that you need a stylish butchers block unless it turns out a fugly set of shelves for bag storeage display is exactly what you need after all. Its all about tactics.

Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 22/06/2014 00:17

River no we've been here for two months now. I know what I need because I'm here more....he's thinking bag storage because the bloody bags have no home...due to his failure to put shelves where they're needed.

Grrr!

I need to build the buggers myself I think!

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RockinHippy · 22/06/2014 00:18

How about a compromise ??

Shelves at the top, cupboards below, so it looks like a Welsh dresser - we also have a small kitchen & this was what we did with what sounds like a similar & it works really well - the shelves are filled with neat rows of various Kilner Jars, filled with rice, pasta, pulses, spices, along with cookery books etc etc & the cupboards come in very handy for other things & I'm very happy with it.

I agree with you not wanting bags etc on display, but sheliving works better above hip level in a small space, as it gives the illusion of the space being more open, therefore makes it look bigger

Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 22/06/2014 00:27

Hippy I see how that would look better but we just don't need it...that's my point really. I have a shelving thing on a wall and spices and jars of herbs are on that...the kitchen cupboards are large and there's loads of space for food and all that. I don't have cookery books.

I really don't want anything there...I think a bit of extra floor space is more valuable with two DC...when one of them comes into the kitchen I have to chuck them right out if I'm cooking....at least they could stand near me lol!

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Loopylala7 · 22/06/2014 00:28

YANBU Sounds quite similar to what I'm going through - we've down sized which I'm starting to think was a mistake. Anyway, we've been going through the whole storage palaver too. I'm all for hide everything, DH poo pood this, and insisted we have open book shelves in our lounge. Now he moans that he can see clutter on them, although is pretty happy with the look of the closed cupboard I chose which hides a manner of crap. Hmm

Wish I'd gone with my gut and insisted on certain home furnishings!

Singlesuzie · 22/06/2014 00:29

What sort of bags? Plastic bags or hessian type bags? Could you have shelves with pretty storage boxes to shove the bags into?

Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 22/06/2014 00:30

I like open bookshelves Loopy and if they're full of books there's no space for clutter...I move anything people dump within seconds Grin Since coming here I've been very tough about the DC junk too...I trhow away all plastic tat after two days...comic free gifts etc...have a bit of fun with it and then it's gone! Lol.

But yes...I am putting my foot down. He built open shelves in our bedroom and it looks like a bloody warehouse!

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Singlesuzie · 22/06/2014 00:31

Ah, so you dont really need the space? What about having a nice chair there then to fill the space and for dcs to have somewhere to hover/chat to you?

Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 22/06/2014 00:31

Single school bags, work bags...that's my reason for going Hmm at him...surely these hang on hooks out of sight? I don't go for the pretty storage boxes as you can see into them from the top! I don't mind them high up I suppose...but in our case...floor to ceiling shelves for four bags is stupid.

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Loopylala7 · 22/06/2014 00:32

Could you also say to him 'well you can have your shelving unit the day you've finished putting the other storage together'. My DH is also DIY phobic. It's gotten so tense when we've had to put flat pack together that I now either do it myself, or if its too big I hire somebody - makes for a much happier marriage!

Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 22/06/2014 00:33

Single it would look odd...like a waiting room! Grin it would face the wrong way and whover was sitting in it would be blocked by the fridge.

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YeGodsAndLittleFishes · 22/06/2014 00:35

YADNBU DH wanted open shelving for books across one wall in the living room of our last house. It was fugly but was supposed to be temporary until we could afford new floor to ceiling (IKEA style) units. 8 years later we moved and most of the books are still in boxes in the garage.

Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 22/06/2014 00:35

loopy I did and it resulted in us bickering. I said "You have to put shelves in the cupboard in the hall for the shoes and more hooks and the DC need a bookshelf and more toy storage and he got shirty. He also wouldn't let me gloss!

I painted the kitchen today...the walls that is...and he was all "You're not glossing! I will do it on monday!"

He's a painter and decorator so I sort of see where he's coming from but still! I could do it!

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Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 22/06/2014 00:36

I am tempted to get a FECK off big plant and shove it there to claim the space. Or maybe something odd like a hatstand!

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Singlesuzie · 22/06/2014 00:37

Ah ok, school bags dont go jn pretty boxes. They go in the cupboard under the stairs. you got one of those? Grin

Ok so kitchen a funny shape? Just trying to imagine the space. I think butchers block sounds like the best option.

RockinHippy · 22/06/2014 00:40

Oh I get you now, you just want it as space

In which case, make it useful space PDQ & then tell him to butt out you need the space

Cheap kids plastic table & matching chairs would fill 4ft of space nicely & keep the DCs busy, with you, but out from under your feet whilst in the kitchen (& his too)

By the time they've outgrown it, DH will have forgotten all about it & you get your spaceWink

Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 22/06/2014 00:40

It's not so much a funny shape as tiny. It's just a square...but the walls are taken up with units and the spare wall has the fridge and dryer on it....then our much contested newly gained space. It's like war with us both trying to stake a claim to a bit of "land".

I'm going to gun for the butchers block...he's a good carpenter and could make me one...I think I'll big up his woodworking skills so he's all flattered about it and sees it as a challenge.

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Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 22/06/2014 00:41

hippy that's a bloody good idea but my youngest is a beanpole of a 6 year old...looks more like 8 physically...and wouldn't fit one of those tables. Sad

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Singlesuzie · 22/06/2014 00:44

Yes big up his skills, start beaming to all your friends in his presence about the fantastic butcher block hes going to make you. Grin

Singlesuzie · 22/06/2014 00:45

Its great having handy people in the family, its not great when they go and get their own ideas! Hmm Grin

RockinHippy · 22/06/2014 00:45

In which case how about a built in fold down table - we have one of these & it's very handy & folds down to nothing - again can be used by the DCs, but is useful for all sorts - ours is semi circle & was built from scratch, very simple construction

Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 22/06/2014 00:47

Hippy I thought about something like that...I called it "a flap down table" Grin and DH went Hmm for some reason the arse. Grin I think that sounds bloody good! I want one in fact. He can bugger off with his stupid "bag shelves" Angry

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Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 22/06/2014 00:50

Oooh.

To tell DH NO...you know nothing about anything and I am the boss of this?
OP posts:
Original poster
MrsWinnibago · 22/06/2014 00:51

God I want that. There'd be no room for a chair but I could ram a stool in somewhere. I love the chalkboard thing too. Look at the little bits of storage above! I MUST have this in fact!

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RockinHippy · 22/06/2014 00:54

I'm posting a photo of ours when it's up, maybe that will persuade him it's useful - buts it literally just hinged onto a blank of wood, with one swing out supporting leg - it's really simple to make

ours does tend to stay up & I use the space underneath for storing my cake decor stuff, but it folds away to nothing

To tell DH NO...you know nothing about anything and I am the boss of this?