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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to mystified about leg waxing if you have...

122 replies

UnhappyFeet · 21/06/2014 19:32

... Dark hair. I have tried it. Within 3 weeks the new growth is very visible. Then it has to grow a certain length before being redone. It's very expensive to keep having it done professionally, but the main issue is that my legs look ok for only approx 2 weeks per professional wax.

So... I am now waxing them myself, every few days to get rid of new growth. Legs look ok from a distance but wouldn't want them inflected in bright sunlight, lol! There are still several spare hairs that are visible in certain light. I can see this level of hair growth would be fine if I was fair, but I'm not.

What's the secret? Do I persevere?

OP posts:
JapaneseMargaret · 24/06/2014 08:29

It is insidious, Lying.

It's absolutely not OK for a woman to go around with hairy legs and underarms. She would be considered deviant, and outside the norm. Even laughed at, and made fun of. Rejected by 'right-thinking' people.

It's not something I'd really thought properly about until recent years.

I was in hospital as a day patient last week. It's winter here. My legs haven't see a razor in weeks days. I unexpectedly had to have an ECG and the nurse pushed up my jeans to put the stickers on my legs. In the midst of a hypoglycaemic episode and mini-seizure, I was overcome with complete embarrassment and shame, because my legs were hairy. I felt mortified, even though it was a woman nurse...

It's such a ridiculous over-reaction, but I've been conditioned over the past 30 years (I'm 40 and started shaving my legs at 11) to feel that hair on a woman is disgusting.

Waxing - and actual pain caused by hair removal - is just one step too far for me, and one that I am not prepared to take, in my small, pathetic rage against the machine. :)

SybilRamkin · 24/06/2014 08:55

Laser is your friend here. It's not dead expensive if you get a Groupon or similar, and works really well on dark hair.

catsmother · 24/06/2014 09:11

This is such an interesting thread - and strangely reassuring to read I'm not the only pale skinned (and redheaded!) woman who has body hair like a chimp. Agree with all of you who've described how society's expectations regarding natural female body hair get into you very deep indeed .... I've very occasionally seen women who've flouted this and have admired their bravery, but have also been aware (e.g. at a pool) of others' glances and comments towards them and sorry to say they've all been of the "disgusted" and "revolted" category. I admit I'm a coward, and have very low self confidence anyway and I just can't bring myself to expose myself to that sort of judgement ... even though it makes me angry that (most of) society has this attitude - which is ridiculous when you think about it as someone else's body hair has no effect on anyone else at all.

Anyway, as I doubt things will change in my lifetime, I too suffer the miseries of hair removal if I want to go swimming, wear a skirt or a pair of shorts. Like so many others, I get stubble very quickly and it bemuses me to see a number of posters state that shaving in the shower takes "seconds". Not if you're as blind as a bat without your glasses it doesn't - unless you like the cut to smithereens look! I have to shave using the sink with my legs up on the bath or I simply can't see what I'm doing - and it probably takes me 5 mins to do both. Whenever I've tried to "whizz" a razor over it's simply not effective .... I have to do it slowly but reasonably firmly to ensure as close a finish as possible with no cuts.

I personally have never found a hair removal cream that a) actually dissolves the hair properly and b) doesn't leave me with a rash. The adverts which show silky smooth legs that you can slide a chiffon scarf down bloody well don't apply to me. Instead the hair sort of dissolves and then breaks off leaving stubble .... I've tried leaving it on a little longer than recommended but then you run the risk of a more painful rash. Plus it's hideously expensive IMO, especially when I'd need to do it several times a week.

I do like the effect of waxing but as others have said I'm lucky to get 2 weeks out of it and then there's the regrowth period where you're condemned to trousers. I also find it very difficult to wax the backs of my legs and thighs (which need it) - it's very hit and miss and potentially very messy if you use warm wax. Neither do I think the current crop of prewaxed strips are that good - the ones you have to warm by rubbing together in your hands first. Does anyone else find that half the time you don't get an even distribution of wax on either side ? It's a pain in the bum and I actually prefer the more old fashioned wax strips which came on a backing strip - but can't seem to find them now.

I am very interested to see so many recommendations for epilators though and will seriously consider that. My only experience of them is an ancient old model I must have bought around 17 years ago - it was so excrutiating though that I only used it an handful of times and found that although it did a very good job of pulling my hair and bringing tears to my eyes it wasn't so good at actually getting the damn stuff out ... unless I have particularly tough hair (and it often feels like I do). Hopefully more up to date versions have come on a bit .....

I would love to be lasered - it's one of the first things I'll do if and when I win the lottery but sadly, despite the long term advantages I can't afford treatment now, no way.

Just get so fed up with it all - it really has been the bane of my life since the age of 11 or so and every method of removal is such a faff and time consuming (which is why I will look into getting a new epilator). I hate hate hate how it restricts being spontaneous when the weather's unexpectedly hot and how things which many take for granted like going swimming with your kids turns into a military operation for people like me before we feel "acceptable" enough to show ourselves in a swimsuit. Although my head knows society's attitude to female body hair is wrong and stupid, my heart has still absorbed the message that in my natural state I look - and therefore feel - "disgusting". I hate to admit it because no doubt the more confident among you will think I'm ridiculous but even when I'm fully covered there's a bit of me which feels horrid because I know what's underneath. It really does get under your skin. The agonies of starting a new relationship and having to effectively disguise what you look like - at least until you know you can trust the man concerned not to be put off - is another aspect to being "hairy" which causes a lot of stress.

catsmother · 24/06/2014 09:12

(sorry, didn't mean to go off on quite such a rant ...)

JapaneseMargaret · 24/06/2014 09:32

It IS a complete faff. But nobody really admits its it.

If humankind were suddenly, en mass, hatched out of eggs today, and one half were told they were to remove as much body hair as possible, on a daily basis, and in incredibly painful ways - and the other half were told they didn't have to worry about it ... well, it just wouldn't be accepted. And it wouldn't make sense.

We don't half make up some daft rules for ourselves, we humans.

catsmother · 24/06/2014 09:42

I guess it's about defining "femininity". And apparently you can't be feminine if you have noticeable body hair. Though that's probably a very simplistic explanation!

doziedoozie · 24/06/2014 17:44

I was going to say that even in the 15th century Botticelli's paintings showed hairless ladies. But in fact he also showed hairless men, no hairy chests or knuckles, maybe we were more hair free then??

fatlazymummy · 24/06/2014 18:05

I don't like body hair on men or women really. I like the look of smooth skin.
I'm probably quite lucky but I don't find removing it a faff at all. It takes a few minutes with a ladyshaver every few days. It's just something I do, like using body lotion or looking after my feet.

JapaneseMargaret · 24/06/2014 19:40

dozie I imagine that was probably artistic licence - it was probably way to much faff to paint individual hairs on, and added nothing to the painting, anyway!

JapaneseMargaret · 24/06/2014 19:45

mummy - it's not a particular faff to me either (although doing something/anything, as opposed to doing nothing is a relative faff), but only because I'm not particulalry hirsute, I'm light-haired, and I refuse to wax or remove my hair in any way which is remotely a faff.

But that doesn't stop the fact that removing our body hair isn't really a choice - it's something women are obliged to do, whether we like it or not.

It's fortunate for you that that you like it, but it's also interesting to question these things too sometimes, because lots of people don't, and yet also don't feel they can stop.

fatlazymummy · 24/06/2014 19:53

Japanesemargaret, my Mum never shaved her legs, and they were quite hairy. I know another woman who doesn't shave her armpits. I don't think women are obligated to remove body hair at all. It's a fashion, and if enough people don't like it then it will change.
I think people on this forum over think this issue ,tbh. I've never met anyone in real life who finds it a problem either way.

JapaneseMargaret · 24/06/2014 20:10

I don't think of it as over-thinking; rather just thinking, full stop. It's OK to do that.

I don't know of a single woman who doesn't remove basic body hair. The idea that it's a fashion is, um, questionable at best.

This is a discussion forum, where anything and everything gets discussed, anonymously, with strangers. I don't tend to discuss this with people in real life, either.

MrsGoslingWannabe · 03/07/2014 11:46

Who mentioned Surgiwax? Does it need heating? In other words is it for salon use only really?

IceBeing · 03/07/2014 12:19

japanesemargaret Hello...my name is Icebeing and I do not shave my legs or armpits.

So now you know one person!

I have had a couple of occasions of people making comments at the swimming pool...and one guy that was staring at me in my shorts (after I had been playing badminton) to whom I eventually I said "It is normal adult female body hair, I don't support the prepubescent hairless look as I believe it encourages peadophillia".

I don't actually think that but it certainly gave the staring guy something to ponder....

MrsGoslingWannabe · 08/07/2014 23:15

Bought a Philips Epilator (HP6577), charged it but it won't turn on.

unicornpoop · 09/07/2014 08:26

I swear by my babyliss simply smooth. Its basically an orbital sander for your legs. Its like the hair remover mitts but with less effort. I have keratosis pilaris on my legs and it even gets rid of the visible effects of that. I do my legs once a week with it and they are soooo smooth afterwards and it lasts quite a while.

Chunderella · 09/07/2014 08:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wineoclocktimeye · 09/07/2014 08:54

The only positive side effect of chemotherapy is that all your body hair goes, so super smooth all over Smile

It's growing back now, but it's really soft and fine like baby hair and I'm sorely tempted to just leave it on my legs, I can hear my mums voice many many years ago warning me that once you start to remove it, you have to keep doing it as it grows back thicker.

Maybe I can have legs of a 13 year old shame about the bum of a 50 year old Grin

Theodorous · 09/07/2014 10:14

I had IPL laser on bikini and lower legs 5 years ago and nothing has grown back at all. It was expensive and painful but worth it.

Theodorous · 09/07/2014 10:18

I am studiously ignoring the attempts of some people to turn this as all other shaving threads into a bun fight. I swear some people pop up EVERY single time the words wax or shave crop up and say the exact same things. In a minute the most prolific poster in this subject ever will wheel out her "if your husband likes shaved bikini lines he is obviously deviant" and other sick shit.

Oops I didn't quite manage to ignore it but have encountered some very nasty people in these circumstances.

Theodorous · 09/07/2014 10:19

Oh, I see it has already been wheeled out. What a surprise. Accusing people of paedophilia is some serious sick shit.

MrsKoala · 09/07/2014 10:38

JamJimJams - Hair doesn't always grow back less with waxing. I have been having my legs,naval,bikini,undercarriage,arse and underarms waxed for 20 years and i'm way more hairy now. Sometimes your body actually fights back and grows thicker or at least the waxing has no detrimental effect on the follicles at all.

Japanese - Shaving does not take me seconds in the shower and isn't pain free. I have very long big legs and the hair grows in lots of different directions, the angles i would need to shave at is difficult, i have sensitive skin and shaving leaves a bleeding rash on most areas. I have very dark hair and fair skin, and even when i am clean shaved you can see the dark follicles and i have stubble/5 o'clock shadow by the end of the day (especially the underarms). However, i am not bothered about going out with hairy armpits, so often don't do them - much to my parents disgust!

OP - i find epilating excrutiating. I know loads who do it but personally i can't stand the pain or the time it takes. I just don't have the time to sit there every couple of days epilating. I have waxing usually (fortunately not when pregnant as all hair stops growing for me during this time - hurrah!) and yes the 2 weeks wait is annoying - but i haven't found any alternative which works for me. In the summer i shave to just above the knee and wax the rest. I splash out on really expensive razors and creams to minimise the shaving soreness.

I have had laser on my arms and i would defo recommend it. I will probably go for the full legs eventually. It is quite painful and expensive, but very worth it.

MrsGoslingWannabe · 09/07/2014 11:30

Hmm, looks like like I brought the thread back to life but didn't get an answer about how to work my epilator!

FFSFFS · 09/07/2014 12:43

IPL hair removal thingies are not lasers. IPL stands for intensive light pulse. WIKI info HERE
I have a lumea philips from Boots. (I'm the same poster as down the thread). The longer I use it the more I love it.

Theodorous · 10/07/2014 06:21

Whatever it is it works. I didn't check the somantics of the thing, it was too painful for me to think about it. I took painkillers before going and used 10% lidocaine spray half an hour before which really helped.