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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dance class cruelty

90 replies

Cocojai · 21/06/2014 17:09

Am I unreasonable to complain about my son's dance class teacher??
My 9 yr old was 10 minutes late for his class. Teacher said that he could come into the class. She didn't say that she would make him sit in a corner on the floor in silence for 2HOURS!!
I was told that 'it's all on the website', that if a child is late that they will not participate. This was a double class today and had I known that he would be excluded for the duration I'd have never left him there. We would've just suffered the consequence and gone home. I was on site but didn't know this was happening behind the locked door.
I can't think of a reasonable rationale for the 10 mins vs 2 hours.
I can't think of any other situation whereby a child is excluded for that duration when he hadn't done wrong.
I've been late for uni when they had the 10 minute rule, however, we were allowed back in during break and had to submit work for what was missed but come on...he's 9!!
So...I'm emotional but am I unreasonable??

OP posts:
Lilaclily · 21/06/2014 17:10

Take him out
Sounds awful
The teacher is crap

sonlypuppyfat · 21/06/2014 17:13

And you've paid for that lesson?

PenguinBear · 21/06/2014 17:15

Sounds dreadful. Without the money for that 2 hours or I've you've already paid, deduct off next term's fees.

Is it on their website? teacher sounds horrible What does it actually say?

Andrewofgg · 21/06/2014 17:15

Teacher is up herself. Pull him out.

GirlInASwirl · 21/06/2014 17:16

She made a 9 year wait two hours redundantly - to prove a point? Wow! That's quite a worry. How was your DS when you picked him up?

rookiemater · 21/06/2014 17:17

That's rubbish - as you say if you'd known what would happen, you would just have brought him home.

ReallyTired · 21/06/2014 17:21

That is beyond awful, especially as a nine year old may well be late due to factors beyond his control. I feel that making a nine year old sit on the floor for two hours is deranged and is pychologically abusive. There is no way this woman should be trusted with the care of young children. If the teacher was not prepared to let him participate then she should not have let him into class. I feel that making a nine children sit in time out for two hours is a cruel and unusual punisment. Does the dance teacher belong to any assoication for dance teachers.

Can you not find a different dance school? Surely boys who want to dance should be encouraged rather than punished?

AnimalsAreMyFriends · 21/06/2014 17:21

I wouldn't send my child back - and I'd make sure other parents knew why.

ReallyTired · 21/06/2014 17:23

Are you prepared to name and shame the dance school?

londonrach · 21/06/2014 17:27

Awful. Remove child from dance class and warn other parents. Teacher has some major issues. Can understand he sitting out part they were doing ( only just) but 2 hours..... Complain strongly

Pennies · 21/06/2014 17:27

What a cow. If you return (I wouldn't) would point out to her the following points:

  1. She's shot herself in the foot because she's deprived him of 1hr and 50minutes of tuition, so he will be behind the rest of the group;

  2. What the hell is she doing discouraging a 9year old boy to dance - another own goal IMO;

  3. You have paid for that time and she has no right to withhold it - demand a refund;

  4. It was totally unprofessional - she should have made her point and moved on. She has made herself look ridiculous.

Do all of the above loudly and in front of other parents.

MrsBungle · 21/06/2014 17:29

Absolutely horrendous. Our dance school would never do such a thing - they like it to be FUN for the children. Pull him out.

FuckyNell · 21/06/2014 17:30

Was it abbey lee millers dance club? Grin

NynaevesSister · 21/06/2014 17:32

Sounds like the dance school my niece went to. No kid was late again. Kids used to travel up to 60 miles to go there.

Hulababy · 21/06/2014 17:34

Awful behaviour by the dance teacher.
If it happened at a school parents would be up In arms

Original poster
Cocojai · 21/06/2014 17:38

At the close of class with other children waiting to be collected, I wasn't able to tell her what I thought. There will be no next term at this dance school for my son. Unfortunately you have to pay for the term in advance, and they do not issue refunds (as stipulated on the website).
He looked dejected and said that he felt 'ashamed'. I've had to be working hard this afternoon to gee him. He doesn't want to go back. I don't blame him.

Unless your child articulates what's happening, you often don't have a clue

OP posts:
DeepThought · 21/06/2014 17:38

Dreadful

Don't go back

Marcipex · 21/06/2014 17:39

Ridiculous. Spiteful. Last century.

As you say, why would you even leave him there, you might as well have skipped the class.

Lateness is out of the child's control anyway. Now if he'd kept messing around disrupting the class, that would be different.

CarpeJugulum · 21/06/2014 17:42

I could see being asked to wait until there was a natural break before he joined in, but 2 hours? Leave and complain!

ReallyTired · 21/06/2014 17:44

I would sue her through the no claims court. She broke the contract by being emotionally abusive to your child. If she refused to teach your child then she should refund you the cost of the lesson and the next terms fees.

It doesn't matter a jot what she has put on her website. A parent cannot agree to their child being emotionally abused.

foslady · 21/06/2014 17:45

Stuff the remainder of the fee. Your son is worth more than that

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 21/06/2014 17:45

You still need to name and shame and make sure other parents know. Who knows what else goes on behind those doors when parents aren't around?! Can you involve Trading Standards or someone re the fees? It is not right that you can't get your money back given the abuse that has taken place (and it is abusive - there is no way your son should go back there). Solicitor's letter?

DirtyBlonde · 21/06/2014 17:53

It sounding awful.

I would interpret 'if late, cannot participate' as "if you're late you won't be let in". Not, we'll let you in but exclude you.

Alisvolatpropiis · 21/06/2014 17:58

That's outrageous. Yanbu.

LoveSardines · 21/06/2014 18:04

wow he won't be forgetting that in a hurry. 2 hours? that's victorian.

Name and shame please
Report to any professional assocs they are in
Leave stinking reviews where they are listed eg netmums google

Unbelievable.