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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have worn a short skirt?

54 replies

UnderEstherMate · 21/06/2014 16:04

I wouldn't usually, but today is warm and I couldn't find any clean clothes anything else to wear. I'll admit that I'm not the slimmest of people and I have some cellulite, but I'm not fat (or at least I don't think I am), I'm 22 so 'looking like mutton' isn't the issue, and the last time I wore this skirt two separate people stopped to ask where it was from and complimented me on it (something that doesn't happen very often!)

When I put it on this morning DP looked at me as if he was disgusted and asked "Where are you planning on going today?" knowing full well that I had errands to run and family visits that included him. I kept catching him looking at my legs as if they were dog shit. He even asked if I have shorts on underneath! (I don't - the skirt is quite fitted and shorts would just bulk me out even more. Plus, it's not the type to blow up in the wind anyway.)

I've already been out once in it today as I didn't have time to look for something else, but now I need to go down the busy high street and I'm feeling really uncomfortable. At the same time I don't want to change as I don't feel like I should have to. Am I going to be that fat girl who people say 'She should not be wearing that" about as they walk behind me?

OP posts:
YoureAnIdiotGoodNewsImTakingOv · 21/06/2014 16:10

We can't say, without a picture or a vague idea of how big you are/what type of skirt/what the exposed parts of your legs are like.

I'd guess that if you're happy, though, it looks fine.

Is DP the jealous type? It could be that. Or it could be that he's just being really horrid, and you should pull him up on that. Whatever he thinks, he doesn't get to choose what you wear. He gets an opinion, but that's all - decent people share their opinion once, if asked, and then leave it.

I'm 99% confident that you look great, because people wouldn't ask you where the skirt was from otherwise. So go and sashay up the high street :)

pinkyredrose · 21/06/2014 16:11

Wear what the hell you want, it's your body and your life.

DP looked at me as if he was disgusted
I kept catching him looking at my legs as if they were dog shit

The skirt is the least of your worries.

HeartShapedBox · 21/06/2014 16:12

do YOU like the skirt?

that's all that matters.

tell "d"p to fuck off.

pinkyredrose · 21/06/2014 16:12

We can't say, without a picture or a vague idea of how big you are/what type of skirt/what the exposed parts of your legs are like WTF!!!!

Shallow Hal anyone?

Fairylea · 21/06/2014 16:12

Your dp doesn't sound very nice at all! Wear the skirt op. Your body, your choice.

KoalaDownUnder · 21/06/2014 16:13

I'd actually ask him 'Why do you keep looking at my legs like that?'

Twattish behaviour.

whereisshe · 21/06/2014 16:15

Eh? If you like it then wear it. If you don't take it off. Clothes are just clothes. Your DP doesn't sound like he's the most supportive, what has he said in the past to make you interpret his looking at your legs like that?

Numanoid · 21/06/2014 16:15

Your DP sounds horrible, what a nasty way to act.

It's not up to anyone else to dictate what you can/can't wear, or judge you for it. If you're happy wearing the skirt, go for it. Grin

MyPrettyToes · 21/06/2014 16:15

I have seen ladies of all shapes and sizes in miniskirts today and the only time it has look 'off' is when the wearer looks uncomfortable in it. Confidence is key.

Seriously OP, sod him. If you want to wear it then wear it. Is your DP generally a bit of a tool, criticising your appearance etc?

EatShitDerek · 21/06/2014 16:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CarbeDiem · 21/06/2014 16:16

So long as you're comfortable and not causing offence - like your arse hanging out- then fuck what anyone else thinks.

Your bigger issue is your dh behaving like a twat - I'd worry more about that to be honest.

StillFrigginRexManningDay · 21/06/2014 16:17

Wear whatever you like who cares what other people think.

TwinkleTwinkleStarlight · 21/06/2014 16:18

Personally I would wear the skirt all the time just to piss him off.

^ this

RoganJosh · 21/06/2014 16:22

I imagine it looks great if you're happy in it.

I'm interested in how much of a prat your DP is. How shirt is the skirt and what dress size ish are you? If you don't mind sharing.

Poppadopalas · 21/06/2014 16:24

Is your man a model? I'm guessing not so tell him to stfu - as long as you are 22 years of age and not 22 stone who else gives a rats ass

Indith · 21/06/2014 16:28

I don't care what the skirt looks like. You could be a size 28 wearing a tutu for all I care. What I do care about is that a person who should support you and value your feelings is making you feel like shit. What right has he got to make you feel that way? You are you. Those legs you are showing are your legs. They have not morphed from perfectly acceptable legs attached to a woman who I assume he is physically attracted to into some sort of grotesque stumps so who does he think he is behaving as though somehow revealing your body makes it distasteful? Wear what you are comfortable in, wear what you think makes you look good. Wear what makes you happy. It isn't anybody's business but your own.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 21/06/2014 16:33

If you're happy, wear it.

Ignore your tit of a partner.

Mabelface · 21/06/2014 16:37

Your (D) P doesn't want you showing your legs, so he tells you it looks disgusting instead. His problem, not yours, wear what you bloody well like and if he doesn't like it, tough shit, it's your body, not his, and you're not his possession.

Original poster
UnderEstherMate · 21/06/2014 16:51

Thank you for your replies. I did end up wearing it out but didn't have time to respond beforehand!

DP isn't usually the jealous type. He does regularly act like a twat when he's tired (as he is today) and I usually ignore it, but it struck a nerve today as I know I've out in a few pounds and was feeling a bit apprehensive to start with.

Rogan the skirt is about 2 inches above my knee, although I have to keep pulling it down when I walk as it slides up a lot. I'm a size 12.

Poppa yes 22 years old! He's no model but has recently become a fitness fanatic though, so I reckon he thinks I should follow suit...

OP posts:
Mabelface · 21/06/2014 16:53

2 inches above your knee isn't short, and a size 12 is slim. Being tired is no excuse for acting like a twat either. Do you act like a twat just because you need a bit of sleep? Do you make derogatory comments to him when you're tired. No excuses for him. I bet you look lovely in that skirt.

WorraLiberty · 21/06/2014 16:55

Madlizzy he didn't tell her she looked disgusting, or make any derogatory comments.

He does sound as though he missed out on charm school though

CarbeDiem · 21/06/2014 16:58

Pah 2 inches above the knee is practically full length :) I had visions of it skimming your arse cheeks.

Tell dp to stfu. Tired or not he's got no right to make you feel bad.
I'd have words now with him to iron it out for the future.

Original poster
UnderEstherMate · 21/06/2014 17:05

Carbe Grin I usually go for midi length so I feel practically naked when I wear anything above the knee. Especially as it rises so quickly.

I will have a word with him tomorrow. If I mention it when he's in this mood he'll just get arsey and won't actually take it in. I'm glad I asked on here though, it did make me feel a bit better. Thank you Thanks

OP posts:
Mabelface · 21/06/2014 17:10

I'm a size 18 and wearing a dress that's 3" above the knee and I like it. :D

sykadelic · 21/06/2014 17:49

He asked where you were off to. You said it's not your normal attire so he was probably very thrown about you getting all "dressed up" to do normal tasks.

If a woman saw her man going out in something nice that he doesn't normally wear she'd wonder what he was doing to require such fancy clothes. We know that a change in behaviour like this is one of those "I should have realised he was cheating because he started taking more care in his appearance and wearing different things".

I'd be willing to be you're doing a bit of projecting. You're self-conscious and are guessing what his facial expression meant, guessing what his question meant rather than asking.

You said "has recently become a fitness fanatic though, so I reckon he thinks I should follow suit..." There's a lot of conjecture in your posting.

You haven't said he calls you a fat cow, just that you feel he thinks it. So either the problem is you and your self-esteem, or the problem is him for telling you, either by his words or actions, that you look like a fat cow.

Either way, you need to talk to him. It's not uncommon for the "fatter/less fit" partner to feel like the "skinnier/fitter" partner judges them. Unless they're actually doing something to make you feel that way, you need to work on your issues. They can't help you with that, outside of loving and supporting you (but constant reassurances are tedious - hence needing to work on it yourself as well).