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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to ask : if kids don't need alcohol to have fun/relax/enjoy life, why do we?

57 replies

Fattymcbatty · 18/06/2014 23:24

That's it really, I'm toying with the idea of giving up booze (wine) for good as when I sit and think about the pros and cons, the latter far outweigh the former, seemingly more so as I get older.

And yes, I drink far too much wine, have far too many groggy starts to the day, and am carrying faaaaar to many extra pounds (and I don't mean £).

I see my DCs running round, laughing until they're crying, taking great pleasure in the simple things in life and it's got me thinking.... why does a meal out have to include a bottle of wine, why does watching a football match have to include a few beers.... you get the picture.

I want clarity back, I want to enjoy every day and I'm starting to think this May be far easier without this headache inducing drug?

Aibu?

OP posts:
FindoGask · 19/06/2014 05:47

While I commend your abstemious intentions (I think that might be the most pompous way I've ever begun a post) there's lots of things my children enjoy that I don't, and vice versa - I'm not sure how enlightening it is to compare our likes and dislikes!

I'm a fairly moderate drinker, much more so than pre-children anyway, but would always have wine when people come for dinner and so on. I see no reason to give that up.

paxtecum · 19/06/2014 06:12

Op, I agree with you.
I think alcohol is a quick fix way to unwind and relax, but you pay for it the next day, though if you drink everyday you may not realise how much better you would feel if you absteined.

I used to come home from work and drink half a bottle of wine every night, because I liked the taste of it and because it relaxed me.
I feel so much better now that I don't drink alcohol.

Fifty years ago most women drank alcohol occasionally. Those who drank daily were considered to have a problem.

Wine isn't just fermented grape juice, a lot of chemicals are added to it.

fuzzpig · 19/06/2014 06:36

Maybe that's why I don't really drink then. Because I still act like a child :o

chrome100 · 19/06/2014 07:35

Oh my God, I'd NEVER want to be a kid again. Sure, I had a happy childhood but all that being told what to do! What to eat, when to go to bed, what to do at the weekend. I love being an adult because if I want I can stay up all night and eat takeaways or have sweets for breakfast, get up super early or stay in bed - whatever I choose. I don't mind the added stresses and responsibilities of adulthood, it's worth it.

diddl · 19/06/2014 07:39

If beer has to be drunk to watch footy, doesn't that prove that it's a shite game??!!

Whocares156 · 19/06/2014 08:02

Drinking is crappy, a drug, full of empty calories, waste of money

Can't stand the stuff, hate the way every time the World Cup is on women will be victims of domestic violence by their partners who have drank too much

Happydaysatlast · 19/06/2014 08:06

My kids like a drink. Mind they are grown up!

Yours may too in time Grin

buddles · 19/06/2014 08:22

I was never a regular drinker - sure Id get pissed on occasions such as birthdays, work dos etc but I could count on one hand how many times a year it was.

I gave up alcohol three years ago when we started TTC and didn't miss it at all since DS was born 26 months ago I've had alcohol on approx 4 occasions and only ever one at a time as I am still breast feeding.

I can honestly say I don't miss it. I was never a wine drinker, stopped liking beer so generally just had drinks that didn't taste alcohol-ly like wkd and Smirnoff ice (I'm classy) so I consider myself a non drinker now and don't think I will ever go back to it.

FraidyCat · 19/06/2014 08:42

I don't drink and I don't think taking it up would improve my life.

The idea that being an adult is more stressful than being a school-age child is bollocks. An adult does not have to live in their bosses house, eat what their boss tells them to, wear what their boss tells them to, etc. And the stress of school exams was worse for me than workplace stress, I think.

Annietheacrobat · 19/06/2014 08:47

For me it was/is because when I entered my teenage years I became self conscious - drinking helped me relax and become more confident. The irony of course is that it has got me into some god awful situations over the years that have done nothing for my self esteem.

wonderingdotcom · 19/06/2014 08:48

I dont need alcohol. Hate the taste of the stuff and are a right lightweight.

I am usually first on the dancefloor and last to leave the party. Most people wonder what i have been drinking. Nothing usually.

At a recent night out it was meal who fell over on the dancefloor then couldnt get up for laughing.

Happydaysatlast · 19/06/2014 08:49

Pointless debate anyway as it's a personal
Choice and noone else's business really.

All of the carefree cute littie children described on this thread will all grow up and then, just like us, some will drink lots, some will will alcoholics, some will drink moderately and some not at all.

And that will be their choice too. As adults.

Thenapoleonofcrime · 19/06/2014 08:49

I don't drink any more and I enjoy my life a lot! Does this mean I am childish? Not sure, I wouldn't mind drinking the odd bit but sickness/hangovers aren't for me any more.

Joysmum · 19/06/2014 09:03

It's a massive red flag if the cons of giving up drink outweighs the pros.

Those falling into that camp are the ones who most need to give up.

Sallystyle · 19/06/2014 09:13

I don't.

I would much rather smoke some pot to relax, which I haven't done for years.

I am one off those odd people that alcohol doesn't relax. It just makes me tired the next morning.

But pot? yeah, that really relaxed me. Made me eat a lot too though.

InvaderZim · 19/06/2014 09:22

If it's affecting your life as much as you say, I'd give it up.

I don't drink much because I tend towards depression and if I have more than one drink in an evening, I feel really down the next day.

I was a pothead at uni though!

Mintyy · 19/06/2014 09:25

I totally abstain from alcohol for months at a time and I can promise you that life without is better than life with. I just seem to keep forgetting that! I think one day I will stop drinking forever, am getting there.

MrsAtticus · 19/06/2014 09:29

I haven't drunk for 10 years (approx) having drunk quite a lot prior to that. As I relied on alcohol to relax I found it hard at first to relax without it. Now I don't even think about it. I like not having the ups and downs (and groggy starts) that comes with drinking, and I think I enjoy things more for what they are, so for example, if I'm not enjoying myself I'll just go home instead of drinking more to try and have more fun etc.

RiverTam · 19/06/2014 09:30

well, don't drink so much then! It's perfectly possibly to have a glass or two of wine, or whatever you're limit is, and still wake up feeling fine.

LillianGish · 19/06/2014 09:31

The short answer is we don't. I can remember exactly the same thought crossing my mind when dd was about 2. I was suffering from from a hangover - always made worse with small children anyway due to lack of opportunity to sleep it off - I looked at dd looking so bright and full of life and envied her. I have not over-indulged since. I have the odd drink, but find one glass of anything is enough. Don't miss it at all.

BuilderMammy · 19/06/2014 09:43

I woke up the morning after my 21st feeling vile and decided then and there not to do that to myself, and I haven't. I'd have one glass of wine maybe once of twice a year if I'm over in SIL's but that's all. I'm still perfectly capable of having fun!

YANBU.

LumieresForMe · 19/06/2014 10:35

OP I've really liked your post! It's nice to hear people actually making that sort of comment as usually it's much more of 'oh don't be a killjoy. A bit if alcohol isn't an issue.'

I also do think that, as much as we are adults and it's pour choice, it's worth talking about it. So many teenagers and young people DO think it's impossible to have fun wo a drink.

I remember clearly, when I first started working in the UK, a comment from a young ish colleague after a work do. 'Oh so what has happened after xxx? I can't remember a thing but then that means I must have had a great time!' And everyone around agreeing with her.
And clearly from this thread (and a few others!) a lot of people seem to equate alcohol with relaxing and think that it's only fair that they have a glass of wine because they've had such a hard day.

But you are right in that children DO get stressed a lot but don't need alcohol to relax and have fun.
And there are entry of other ways to have fun wo alcohol. The issue starts when you convince yourself you can't have fun/relax wo it.

EnidColeslaw · 19/06/2014 10:59

I haven't had a drink (or any other drugs) for 3 and a half years, I don't need it to cope with my life, but I had to learn new ways of coping because it had always been my (spectacularly unsuccessful) way of doing that. I like being present in reality these days, it's hard at times but the happiness is unadulterated as well as the hard stuff. I find gratitude and acceptance are a good antidote to the self pity I used to use to justify my drinking.

Bearleigh · 19/06/2014 21:31

Can you imagine a playtime if kids were allowed to drink?

Don't they do that in France? And no one in France has a drinking problem.

Er no. France has twice the level of alcoholism that we do. They may not binge drink but I have smelled more stale alcohol on people in a morning in France than in UK

Waltonswatcher · 19/06/2014 21:49

I don't drink ever .
I do sometimes feel a bit goody two shoes though . Socialising gets a bit weird when later everyone else is pissed .
It makes me feel ill after just a few sips , instant headache .
I am sooo boring and mumsy !

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