My son was in a car accident today

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

His father, 8 weeks ago, told him by email that he did not intend to see him any more.

DS was not hurt, but very shaken up. I sent a text to his father and 2 hours later the reply was "Glad he's ok. Thanks for letting me know."

AIBU to think he should have contacted DS?
AIBU to think he's a cock?
AIBU to ask why the hell he is not interested in his child's welfare?

Yes, huge backstory

Sorry.

But really, what kind of father does that???

Misc I'm coming round to that idea. He's messed DS around for years. You just keep hoping and I even begged him to work with me to support our son.

He refused.

As my lovely, wise DM told me last night: he is MY son. There is no OUR son anymore.

Bloody hurts to fuck though, for my boy.

My children are the ones to have cut ties with their DF because they were sick of him blowing hot and at cold with the "love and miss you very much" texts and the "you're so ungrateful and only want me when you need something" texts. That coupled with the fact that he can't kero the venom out of his tone or his face when he sees me even when kids are around has driven them to cut him out of their lives at the minute. He got a Father's Day present-because I bought it and DD left it at his door. But they clubbed together and bought me a card/pressie. The card said "this isn't a Father's Day or Mothers as day card it's a "you are everything to us everyday card". I cried. Lots. A wise friend told me that you need never bad mouth a child's father as they will see the truth for themselves soon enough. She was right.

I think his response to news of an accident in which son wasn't hurt, I would consider adequate even for a man who loved and lived with his son. (I know women have this concept of support but I don't really know what that means. I know I'll be told that some men subscribe to this to, all I can say is that I can't recall meeting many.)

In fact an accident in which someone isn't hurt doesn't even warrant you contacting anyone, they can find out about it the next time you happen to speak to them. It's not like there's anything they need to do about it.

He may be a complete arse, but all he's done wrong with respect to the accident is not be a woman. (Will now hide thread, as certain to get flamed for claiming there's anything other than physiological differences between men and women. I don't like a flaming, see my user name.)

Fraidy you make a fair point, based on facts given.

I'm not sure about the m/f thing I guess we all react differently.

If we are talking about parents though - aren't we parents for life?

I am sorry his dad is so poor. I think you are both better of without him now, with no more contact.

As for the whole man v woman thing. DH would be VERY concerned if DD was in car accident, even if she was 16y and reported to be okay. He loves and cares for his DD, and would struggle with the thought of her being upset, scared, shocked and potentially hurt - it wouldn't be just a case of "glad she's okay" that's for sure. Not all men, ime, are incapable of feeling.

What kind of Father does that? I guess that would be the kind of asshole father who tells a 16-year-old son he's abandoning him without contact.

Im sorry his dad is a twat.

But he has you and will turn out great Im sure. DH's mum was a single mum from pregnancy and his dad was in and out of his life til he was 12, then next to no contact.

DH is lovely, very into 'male' things like cars/sport etc (stereotype sorry!) and is a fab husband. MIL brought him up to be a caring and loving person and his lack of a male role model (no grandad/uncle etc) hasnt mattered one bit.

DH is now loving discovering the father-son relationship with our two sons.

(((Hugs)))