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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH's decision holiday vs wife with sprained knee

54 replies

windchimes8 · 17/06/2014 15:22

That's it really. DH decided on the holiday 4 days with 2 other family members one of them OAP. Sprained knee happened Friday, holiday started Monday. Holiday could not easily be re-scheduled, knee is slowly getting better and I can drive short distance, have enlisted help to walk dog, we live in a bungalow. Just wondered what others thought.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 17/06/2014 16:43

I would be more than happy to help our longjane

It would make far more sense than cancelling the holiday

It's only walking the dog and I enjoy doing that anyway

BackforGood · 17/06/2014 16:44

Was he going without you anyway?
Or have you excluded yourself because of your injury?
You've said you can drive - IMO, if you are safe to drive, then you are safe to be left alone at home.

evertonmint · 17/06/2014 16:47

Longjane - so if asked to help out by anyone, you ask lots of questions to determine whether the situation meets your threshold for offering help or not before agreeing? Really? you sound, erm, not that great of a friend TBH. I hope you never have to ask for help and be expected to justify why in return.

sanfairyanne · 17/06/2014 17:02

i would be fine with this. certainly wouldn't expect holiday to be cancelled. its only 4 days and its only a sprain

longjane · 17/06/2014 17:20

When you have have a a child once a week after school and bought him his tea because he was a fussy eater for 6 months

And the family has been able go on 2 holidays one to Disney land because they did no pay for child care for 6 months.

No I would not help some who's other half when on holiday .
No one has the right to hoilday.
If cant be left with out help then it need to paid for.

And yes I have be left home alone newly blind ( i could not see to cross the road)with puppy that need 3walks a day . I coped . I would not dream of asking for help .

I might come across as hard but would any really put them self and family out time and money so someone could go on hoilday ?

And how many of you have done it. And did you get anything more that thanks for it?
And would you do again.?
And would your famliy be happy for do it again?
Even if your famliy had not had a holiday for years?

CoffeeTea103 · 17/06/2014 17:25

Longjane you have a very selfish way of thinking. Why should anyone help someone out? Maybe it's a nice thing to do, help someone if they need it without expecting it in return. It may be a difficult concept for you to grasp though.

WorraLiberty · 17/06/2014 17:26

Yeah but this is walking a dog ffs

Imsuchamess · 17/06/2014 17:27

Yes I have helped out friends in need. I don't question why they need help. My thanks has been that when I need help they return the favour.

Janethegirl · 17/06/2014 17:27

Longjane I think you have a very bitter mindset. Most people are willing to help a friend if asked. If you were nicer to others, maybe they'd help you out in return.

RunnerHasbeen · 17/06/2014 17:37

Longjane, you sound really petty and mean. I would happily look after a friend's child if it helped them save for a holiday. What do you think the point of life is, pretty scorecards and grudges? I want the people I care about to have as nice lives as possible, interlinked with mine and helping people when they need it.

OP, I wouldn't bat an eyelid either at helping you out or at your DH going away, I would hope mine would go in the same situation.

sanfairyanne · 17/06/2014 17:46

i look after a friend's child once a week and feed them
big pat on the back to me

dexter73 · 17/06/2014 17:55

I always try and help my friends if they ask me. Surely that's what most people do?

Frontier · 17/06/2014 17:56

Longjane-the fact that your friends go on holiday has no bearing in you being able to go or not . If I could do a small favour that enabled another family to get away I would it regardless o f when our last holiday was. Them staying at home won't make it more likely that i get to go away

whois · 17/06/2014 18:08

I would help out a friend with a sprained knee who's DP had gone away on holiday. Popping round to see a friend would be nice.

Longjane I think you have a skewed outlook on life. If one of my friends was newly blinded is be round to help like a shot. And pretty sure they could come to my aid if the roles were reversed. Anyway, walking a dog isn't exactly a shit chore is it? Not on a par with wiping your friends bum or anything!

ChelsyHandy · 17/06/2014 18:17

The OP is mysterious, but anyway YABU.

YABU if intending to join your DH on holiday and because you can't go, you think he shouldn't go either. Presumably also you had already arranged dog sitting.

YABU if you were never going and thought he should stay behind. Look up dog walkers in the Yellow Pages or pay a local if you have no friends who can help out.

I hope nothing really serious ever afflicts you in life. I imagine a 4 day holiday with an OAP is more appealing than spending time with someone who think the world stops for a sprained knee

longjane · 17/06/2014 18:37

See sanfairyanne is the only one of you lot that actually does it .

And I am very glad sanfairyanne can afford to feed a extra child One day a week for no money or flavours in return .

You all say you would but none of you have .

And walking someone dog if a massive thing to do
Again how many have done so .
It means taking time to fetch the dog walk him on lead for about a hour without your children as dog might not be used to kids and. Bring him back . rain or shine . Twice a day . So up to 3 hours out of your day .
Glad you all have time and free childcare to do this.

evertonmint · 17/06/2014 18:40

But longjane, the OP was about 4 days, and didn't even specifically ask whether others should help, and you seemed to have turned it into a rant about an indefinite childcare arrangement you've been involved in and how you therefore wouldn't help in a temporary situation I think you've missed the point entirely!

MrsMaturin · 17/06/2014 18:43

I think the point longjane is making is that the family in question COULDN'T afford a holiday unless they cut their outgoings by getting free childcare and a meal for said child. So by her labour she effectively paid for the holiday. There's a name for that sort of thing and it's NOT being nice and helpful.

In the OP's case I think dh was right to go. She could manage, had help, lived in an accessible house and she wasn't ill.

TheHouseatWhoCorner · 17/06/2014 18:47

I'm a bit confused by this thread.
OP were you originally planning to go on this holiday?
longjane I like to think I'd help out a friend if they needed it.

ChelsyHandy · 17/06/2014 19:04

longjane are you the OP?

Anyway, I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill and need to stop being so selfish. Other people exist too. Try thinking about them.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 17/06/2014 19:16

LTB

BackforGood · 17/06/2014 19:46

longjane - how on earth do you know that no-one else helps out friends when they can?

I always do, and, most people I know do too - it's just what makes the world go around.

I still think we need a bit of clarification from the OP.

WorraLiberty · 17/06/2014 19:47

longjane your own personal experiences have got nothing to do with a couple of the OP's mates walking her dog for a couple of days

Janethegirl · 17/06/2014 22:19

Longjane, I've always helped friends in need be it dog walking, looking after their children, taking them shopping when they can't drive, picking them up when their car breaks down etc. What have you ever done for your friends? However I do not expect a medal for it, it's called being a friend

HavanaSlife · 17/06/2014 22:28

Yes I've helped out friends with childcare in the past and other things.

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