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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People selling presents & handmedowns

29 replies

Gwladgwlad · 16/06/2014 19:37

Basically I gave someone I know a bag of baby clothes and I have just seen them for sale on facebook! I am really cross!

AIBU to say something?

OP posts:
CoffeeTea103 · 16/06/2014 19:37

I guess it's theirs to do with.

Bananapickle · 16/06/2014 19:40

I think that it isn't the 'done' thing to sell on hand me downs but rather to pass them on.
However, if you give someone some new baby clothes as a present I think it's up to them what they do with it.
That's my approach so if they were hand me downs YANBU.

ChessieFL · 16/06/2014 19:40

I can understand that you're a bit put out, and it's crass of them to do it in such a way that you know they're selling it on, but ultimately if you didn't say that you wanted the stuff back it is theirs to do what they like with.
If this happened to me I would be a bit miffed, but I wouldn't say anything (I wouldn't give them anything else however).

rinabean · 16/06/2014 19:42

They probably took what they wanted and didn't have anyone left to pass them on to. If you really didn't want them to sell them you should have said.

GobbolinoCat · 16/06/2014 19:43

its happened quite a lot on here.

you should have been clearer when you gave them what do they want them for.

I agree its crass and I would also be put out but like freecyle, when you give something away you give it away its no longer rouys.

Original poster
Gwladgwlad · 16/06/2014 19:44

I think I am annoyed as I could have sold them myself however I felt that as I was given so much stuff I would pass it on. Didnt expect to see it all on bloody facebook!

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 16/06/2014 19:45

YABU because of the fact that once you've given it, it's theirs to do what they want.

BUT I would feel exactly the same as you, OP. Not sure why it would grate, but it would.

Original poster
Gwladgwlad · 16/06/2014 19:46

I just think its very rude!

OP posts:
TypicaLibra · 16/06/2014 19:46

YANBU. Highly unethical of them.

Original poster
Gwladgwlad · 16/06/2014 19:47

But yes I guess once I passed it on, it was theirs to do whatever with! Its upset me though!

OP posts:
Whathaveiforgottentoday · 16/06/2014 20:06

I think its not on. I'd be a bit miffed and certainly wouldn't pass on anymore hand me downs.
If they had passed them on to somebody else, that would be ok but the fact they are going to make a profit from your generosity is wrong.

HannerHet · 16/06/2014 20:07

Yes very rude, I would be tempted to comment on it. Something like 'if you don't want/need them I will have them back'

Hatetidyingthehouse · 16/06/2014 20:08

I would have probably given them away

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 16/06/2014 20:09

I'd put a comment on saying 'Oh. You're selling MY clothes'.

kelper · 16/06/2014 20:10

Ask for commission?

MaryBennett · 16/06/2014 20:10

Next time charity shop it. YANBU - I would feel exactly the same.

I once sold a couple of things a lovely friend had passed on to my dd and I took her out for coffee and cake as a way of paying her. And my dd had worn the stuff quite a while too.

GColdtimer · 16/06/2014 20:15

How good a friend is she? If really good and this us out of character to be so crass then I wouldn't say anything. If not I probably would message her to say I would have the clothes she didn't want back in order to give to a charity shop/children's centre.

That would really, really annoy me.

NorksEnormous · 16/06/2014 20:19

I would be really annoyed!!

escorpion · 16/06/2014 20:20

I caught my niece out selling something on FB that was mine and had been stored at my mums. Angry didn´t even begin to describe it. IMO it´s bloody cheeky to sell something that has been gifted/given to you or not given to you in this case.

Meglet · 16/06/2014 20:24

I don't have a problem with selling gifts. But selling hand-me-downs isn't on.

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 16/06/2014 20:43

When I pass stuff on, I ask that they pass it on in their turn or give it to a charity shop that I don't use, so I don't seethem for sale. I explicitly ask people not to sell it.

mumtobetothree · 16/06/2014 21:36

My friend had a baby the same sex as mine about 6 months after me. I gave her everything up to about 9 months, I was really miffed to see them on fb selling sites. I was even more miffed when she asked me if I'd like a certain pair of kids sandals, then charged me £3 for them! I didn't say anything as we're neighbours as well and wanted to keep the peace.

tunnocksteacake · 16/06/2014 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

steppemum · 16/06/2014 22:04

I love passing things on, and i am happy for people to take out what they want and then pass them on, or give them to charity shop, but I would be really annoyed if they sold them.

Famzilla · 16/06/2014 22:11

Not the done thing here. If it's a hand me down the general rule is that you pass it on to someone else once you're done with it. If I saw someone selling it on without even using it I would have no hesitation in asking for it back and telling them how crass I thought they were being.

If it's a gift I would never list it for sale where the giver could see it, that's incredibly rude IMO.