Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm not am I? Please tell me in not and help me grow a backbone

53 replies

Hurr1cane · 16/06/2014 10:25

Some of you might have seen me post about this before my name change.

I have a severely autistic little boy who also has an array of health problems and other disabilities.

Anyway the man who lives next door, he's 93, this is relevant to the post as he hasn't always been this horrible so I'm thinking it may be related to a condition, which makes me feel worse.

Anyway he is really horrible, he bangs on the wall if I hang a photo up at 12 in the afternoon (so the hammering may have been 30 seconds on my part, lasted 30 minutes on his) he leans over the fence threatening to hit my little boy and any of his friends that I look after if any of them is having a crises. My child and his friends are by far the quietest on my street, I think he does this because he thinks he can smack the disability out of them Hmm

Had him intercepting me when I was trying to leave my house every day for a year over the fence, a panel blew down, I wanted to replace the panel, he wanted the entire fence replacing so I bought the panel, he wouldn't let me put it in, eventually his son came round and put it in and all that stopped.

He has threatened to take me to court because he found a spoon in his garden and thought my son had put it there (it wasn't my spoon)

He leans over the fence and shouts at me for pulling my weeds out the wrong way and says that it'll affect his garden. (I'm not sure the right way of pulling weeds but never mind)

He has leant over the fence and shouted at and tried to hit my son when he was playing on his swing, scaring him to death and causing a seizure.

This is to name a few things.

Anyway I spoke to a friend about it who said to write down all the things he does from now on, with dates, and if he starts harassing me again to just tell him I've taken legal advice and to put anything he wants to say in writing.

Anyway, all was quiet for a time (I have been avoiding the garden though and running to my car) until today when I had to go out to mow the lawn and do some weeding.

He leant over the fence and said "hurricane, a minute" I hate confrontation and just said "I can't" he then said "just a minute" I said "I can't Sam I'm not allowed, just put it in writing" (not at all what I was told to say really but u felt really sorry for him and just wanted him to stop without confrontation)

He then said "two panels need replacing" (I've had a look and they're all fine) so I just said "look I can't talk to you, I'm not allowed, please just put it in writing if it's urgent"
He then laughed and started muttering to himself but walked inside.

It's going to start all over again isn't it? He doesn't take me seriously because I'm a young girl on my own. He's said as much in the past. But I feel really nasty ignoring him like that.

But on the other hand I know I have a duty of care to my little boy and I need to keep him safe.

Please tell me I'm haven't just been a massive bitch to someone with problems of his own Hmm

OP posts:
Whatisaweekend · 16/06/2014 21:50

I know nothing about dementia etc but it does strike me that noneofyours has a point. He does sound like a horrible bully if he is fine with the person who called him on his behaviour and yet is making your life a misery.

Like others have said, I think 101 is your best bet.

Spellcheck · 16/06/2014 21:59

You sound lovely! I reckon he's taking advantage of that. From your second photo, it would appear that his plants may be putting weight on the fence so it's his problem to sort - if there is one!

noneofyours · 16/06/2014 23:02

Whatisaweekend I had the misfortune of having a similar neighbour though he was 60-not 93. He used to harass and bully several of the women in our flat complex including myself, I expect there were more that I had no idea of. He was pretty gross and used to make porn and sex related comments as I walked past, I was told several times what he'd like to do to me. He was proper Jeckyll and Hyde and was overly 'lovely' sometimes and vile the rest. So many people commented that he had to be mentally illor he wouldn't be so on and off.

He did it to one of the women when she was pregnant and her ex, who was a pretty rough fucker, went around and tore strips off him. He never bothered her again. He too was capable of moderating, he chose not to bully her because he was scared of the beating he'd receive. Calculated and driver, the OPs guy sounds just the same-picking on who they think is vulnerable and cowering when they're towered over.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page