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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take DS out of school for 4 days next year?

397 replies

The3Bears · 15/06/2014 22:54

We came back from our family summer holiday last Sunday, 2 weeks in Cyprus at the Holiday village and we absolutely loved it so want to book again asap while we can benefit from the free child place as ds2 is 2 next year so we will have to pay for him too. We went on the 24th May this year and our holiday cost a fortune, no free child place and £1600pp aswell as our wedding in Cyprus on top of this Smile
So we had a look and it's over £1000 cheaper to leave on Thurs the 28th May next year and a free child space but ds1 whose 7 and will start Juniors next year will miss 4-5 days off school and I'm unsure wether to book. We've never had a holiday in term time before and his attendance is great, he's doing really well with all his work and with how much everything cost this year we'd be unable to pay extra to go on the 24th this year so would have to miss out Sad
IABU if i book this holiday as I'm feeling really unsure about it all and would like some advice as to what you would all do?
TIA

OP posts:
MarmaladeShatkins · 16/06/2014 10:38

"Don't be patronising, marmalade. If schools don't follow the DfE's rules, they get shafted by Ofsted."

Of course. I don't think I've disputed that?

But all of the bleating on here about this rule being for the good of the children/teachers is bollocks; Gove gives as much of a crap about teachers and our children as I give about next door's dog.

SuburbanRhonda · 16/06/2014 10:42

I'm sure you do, rafa, but if they do that to everyone who asks and washes their hands of any responsibility to keep unauthorised absence to a minimum, Ofsted will have a field day with them and the school could go into special measures.

Whatever you think about the fairness of that, those are the constraints that we in state schools have to live within.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 16/06/2014 10:42

Of course he doesn't give a crap. Otherwise he'd actually deal with the problem rather than having a totally misaimed policy based on the basis that looking like you are doing something is better than doing nothing.

SuburbanRhonda · 16/06/2014 10:45

I can't speak for anyone else, but I definitely haven't said I think this rule is good for children or teachers. But it's the framework we have to work in.

brdgrl · 16/06/2014 10:45

OP, how do you know the 2-year-old will remember the holiday?

At least in the short term, the 2 year old is likely to remember aspects of it. My DD is 4 and can remember very well things that happened on trips taken when she was 2. Will she still remember them when she is 12, or 45? Maybe not, but she is getting a lot of value from her memory of them now.

Moreover, a child who travels when younger is likely to be affected by that experience in ways that are immediately valuable, and that have an impact whether remembered or not.

The merits of travel for children are numerous. If you choose not to believe that, there is probably little to discuss, but I'd suggest the OP not take too seriously the views of any one who thinks there is no merit to travel with children in and of itself.

As well, the 2 year old is only one member of the family. It would be silly for older members not to go on holidays on the grounds that younger ones might not remember them!

brdgrl · 16/06/2014 10:47

Stop posting and start booking
yes Smile

DroppingIn · 16/06/2014 10:47

Anyone would think we were all state controlled puppets who hand over control of our DC as well as soon as they are school age what with being told when we can have holidays, what they have to wear, what they can eat and drink etc Shock.

MarmaladeShatkins · 16/06/2014 10:49

Precisely, DroppingIn.

It's the willingness with which we bend over and obey that horrifies me a little bit.

DroppingIn · 16/06/2014 10:49

And EVERYONE should have the right to go on holiday. Can anyone explain why only the 'hard working' rich should have them?.

thebodylovesspring · 16/06/2014 10:52

Of course you should.

School is important, family time and memories are far more vital.

It's not just the rich Etonions of this world who deserve a break with their kids.

I suspect those carping can afford to do so.

MarmaladeShatkins · 16/06/2014 10:56

"I suspect those carping can afford to do so."

Either that or they think you should be ecstatic with a one-night stay in a caravan in Skegness.

TheRealMaryMillington · 16/06/2014 10:57

rhonda - I am so sorry - my comment was meant for retropear, for this Some rules aren't right.We're not all sheep. The rules are draconian and the price hikes are appalling, but bunking off school to go on expensive holidays is hardly fighting the system.

Surprising that so few people have one shred of support for the school and the requirements placed on them to get prioritising attendance to be the norm. Do you also decide not to wear uniform (that's a stupid rule imo), send mars bars and pringles for lunch, tell the kids to do what the fuck they like in class, turn up late on Fridays…etc, etc.

Heels99 · 16/06/2014 10:58

I do it every year.

NigellasDealer · 16/06/2014 10:59

Anyone would think we were all state controlled puppets who hand over control of our DC as well as soon as they are school age what with being told when we can have holidays, what they have to wear, what they can eat and drink
pretty much yes, especially when reading certain threads on this forum, - scary rreally

Heels99 · 16/06/2014 11:02

Bears I haven't been fined as less than 5 days I take, you only need 3 days. Book it before the free kids places are gone. Have a great holiday.

MarmaladeShatkins · 16/06/2014 11:02

I think that teaching kids to question the rules laid down by authority is healthy.

I am dumbfounded that DS's class (year 2) were denied their afternoon play break last Thursday because they failed to line up for class in complete silence. I don't understand that. I understand not being unruly and pushing and shouting but what's wrong with quiet chatter? It really smacks of "you are insignificant and you will do as I say". I'm uncomfortable with it.

ShadyLadyT · 16/06/2014 11:06

This thread drips with ill concealed envy and blatant self righteousness. So the kid will miss three days of school? As long as it's not in the middle of SATS or some other similar important element of the school year, 3 days is neither here nor there. And I take my own children's education v seriously. Also, the ones who say little kids can't get much out of travel evidently don't know how to make it fun or interesting for them.

TheRealMaryMillington · 16/06/2014 11:07

LMAO at how taking a mid-term trip to Sharm El Sheikh is the contemporary version of the Tolpuddle martyrs.

NigellasDealer · 16/06/2014 11:07

I agree marmalade, the only problem with teaching children to question the rules is when they are GCSE age and are patently not going to get any exams cos they have been too busy questioning authority Blush yes that is my son.

Retropear · 16/06/2014 11:08

Really Surburban our school has just been Ofsteded and got good,parents don't get fined and get the head's blessing if they do take their kids out.

Clearly parents in our school manage good attendance even with some taking the odd holiday in term time,you know what with being grown up adults fully able to decide what is best for their own children.

Retropear · 16/06/2014 11:10

See mine stick to all rules,this is the only rule we've ever questioned.

SquirrelledAway · 16/06/2014 11:13

Or there is option B (given that OP is lucky enough to have a two week mid term break), find a holiday that fits the term dates and is within budget?

NigellasDealer · 16/06/2014 11:14

so if you have a degree then it is OK retro? what are you saying?

SuburbanRhonda · 16/06/2014 11:14

Thanks, mary.

I'm also surprised that more people aren't supportive of schools who are forced by the DfE to adhere to these rules.

This thread drips with ill concealed envy and blatant self righteousness.

WFT? Envious of what, exactly?

MarmaladeShatkins · 16/06/2014 11:17

"I'm also surprised that more people aren't supportive of schools who are forced by the DfE to adhere to these rules."

But why? No-one is going to hand you a medal if you forfeit your chance for a family holiday to show solidarity with your DC's school.