Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be upset about this comment by a relative?

35 replies

sharontargaryen · 15/06/2014 19:42

I was speaking to a relative (male) a little while ago. I have 2 young boys. He has 2 young boys and his youngest is a toddler girl. He said (not verbatim but as close as can be) "Nothing compares to having a girl. I love my boys but there is no experience like having a little girl and it is so much more fulfilling than having boys". I was obviously quite shocked as I felt like this was saying that boys are 2nd best and also a bit disparaging of both his boys and my boys. I think it might of also been his way of asking if we are having more kids (we are not, I am quite happy with 'only' having 2 boys). It did upset me though. What's wrong with just having boys?

OP posts:
comedycentral · 15/06/2014 19:44

There's nothing wrong with just boys he's just a twat. Nothing else to say really.

puntasticusername · 15/06/2014 19:46

YANBU. Downright weird thing to say. Fine if that's his experience and he's happy with it, but why pretend it's the One True Path?

Ps I also have two boys and couldn't be more delighted with them! I'd have been just as happy with one or more girls, but I happened to have boys, and who cares? They're wonderful.

Pumpkinpositive · 15/06/2014 19:46

Nothing is wrong with having boys. It's just his opinion, and opinions, as everyone knows, are like arseholes. Everyone has them. Particularly arseholes, who seem to have them in abundance.

Try to cultivate an attitude of serene indifference in the face of such arrant stupidity. Smile

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/06/2014 19:47

There's nothing wrong with having just boys - I have three dses (now 17, 19 and nearly 21) - they are wonderful and I am very happy. It will be very sad if your friend treats his boys differently, or if they feel he loves them less then his dd.

spottydolphin · 15/06/2014 19:47

what a dick.

and i feel sorry for his little boys :(

Scholes34 · 15/06/2014 19:49

When I had DD and DS1, a health visitor told me she thought the best families were the ones with two boys, so you're okay, OP!

honeybeeplusone · 15/06/2014 19:50

YANBU
I Would be shocked too! It is not like anyone can choose the sex of their baby!

littlepeas · 15/06/2014 19:50

He is a dick. I have 2 boys and a girl and they are just as incredible as each other - there is no difference between them to me, they are just my lovely children. The family you have is the perfect family for you - ignore him.

Liara · 15/06/2014 19:50

His poor sons.

EverythingCounts · 15/06/2014 19:50

Tosser. All his kids will cop it somehow or other with an attitude like that.

Imagine he's said 'I'm really looking forward to serving tea to the aliens when they arrive tomorrow' and respond accordingly.

kinkyfuckery · 15/06/2014 19:53

Just remind him of that when he has a pre-teen girl in the house and is pulling his hair out Wink

CornChips · 15/06/2014 19:54

God what a bleeding tosspot.

Luggagecarousel · 15/06/2014 19:55

He is male, and biologically girls can grow up closer to their Dads, and boys to their mums. Maybe it was the difference in the relationship he was feeling.

CornChips · 15/06/2014 19:55

TBH, it is a little creepy. Putting his little DD on a princess pedestal because of her gender. That sounds a little 'off' to me.

LumpySpacedPrincess · 15/06/2014 19:55

That's a rotten thing to say. If he does it again then challenge him on it at the time.

WorraLiberty · 15/06/2014 19:57

I have 3 boys and no girls

His comment would have made me feel upset for his boys but not for me

iklboo · 15/06/2014 19:58

I imagine she's a daddy's girl at the moment & thinks the sun shines out of his arse. His stupid attitude will probably change when she gets older & stops worshipping him.

Nothing wrong with boys.

Fluffycloudland77 · 15/06/2014 20:00

Kinky I was thinking that too.

ModreB · 15/06/2014 20:01

That's horrible. I have 3 DS's. When we were expecting DS3, so many people said "Oh, are you hoping for a girl this time" or along those lines. It made me Angry Sad

I was hoping for a healthy child, which I was lucky enough to get.

I now have 3, precious, individual, brilliant, special DC's. Each one is so different from the others, each one is equally loved, supported, encouraged and valued for themselves as individuals, not because they are a gender (or not a gender)

Owllady · 15/06/2014 20:02

It's a bit Victorian to think boys grow up closer to their mother, girls closer to their father ???

Yes he's an idiot though. Draconian by the sounds of things

Monopolice · 15/06/2014 20:05

I once went out for a meal with a bunch of people, one of whom kept banging on about how upsetting it must be to everyone else at the table who only had girls because the bond she had with her boys was so special that the love of a mere girl could not compare Hmm As if that were supposed to inspire us all to go out and acquire a son from somewhere immediately.

I have a mixture of boys and girls and quite frankly my favourite is the one that pissing me off the least at that particular second Grin

Lancashiregal10 · 15/06/2014 20:06

Wow talk about not engaging brain before mouth.
I have a DS and everyone keeps saying if you have another you will want a girl
I shock them by saying no we would like another boy as it will be so much cheaper because we have all the stuff.
If we do have another which for one reason or another is not looking likely then I don't care what we have, I really don't.

Luggagecarousel · 15/06/2014 20:14

Its not Victorian at all, exactly the opposite of what Victorians tried to impose, but, as in other areas, they were fighting against nature.

Sometimes, even an experienced parent is taken by surprise at the overwhelming love you feel for a child. And this is not unlikely for a father with his first daughter. Nothing creepy about it at all!

Don't forget the closest physical resemblance overall within any biological relationship are between newborn girls and their fathers.

Not in every case, obviously, but biologically, there can be a particularly close bond there.

The theory is that an adult male hunter would not necessarily automatically see the necessity to cherish a baby girl that a) they may feel will never help them hunt, and b) for all they know, might not be in any way linked to them ( and I don't expect very early prehistoric men understood the relationship between sex and birth)

However, the continuation of the species relied particularly on adult men protecting young females, so that the next generation could be born. ( it only takes one man to continue a tribe, but many women)

And the biological resemblance and bond was an evolutionary encouragement to that. The man may well be able to see his other family members features in his new daughter.

aprilanne · 15/06/2014 20:16

MONOPOLICE i liked your bottom comment .i have 3 sons .which has been great because i am not really that femine anyway .but my hubby has only brothers .and when ds3 arrived .my mother in law came to hospital and said .oh for god sake not again i kid you not .

splendide · 15/06/2014 20:21

I'm expecting my first and it's a boy. A few people seem to think this is second best, makes me really sad.