to be upset about this comment by a relative?

[sharontargaryen]

I was speaking to a relative (male) a little while ago. I have 2 young boys. He has 2 young boys and his youngest is a toddler girl. He said (not verbatim but as close as can be) "Nothing compares to having a girl. I love my boys but there is no experience like having a little girl and it is so much more fulfilling than having boys". I was obviously quite shocked as I felt like this was saying that boys are 2nd best and also a bit disparaging of both his boys and my boys. I think it might of also been his way of asking if we are having more kids (we are not, I am quite happy with 'only' having 2 boys). It did upset me though. What's wrong with just having boys?

I have a DS, I'm pregnant again and whilst I'd be happy with either I'd secretly love another boy!

I think I've posted about this before but when I was in the hospital having DS there was a woman in the opposite bed who I chatted with. She had struggled to conceive for years and after several attempts at IVF she had twin boys. They were gorgeous, cuddled up in the same cot and she was thrilled. Her Mum then arrived at visiting hours with a miserable face, peered into the cot and announced very loudly 'There goes my chance of ever having a grandaughter.'

That comment wouldn't upset me, as I have two boys and a girl, and know it's total rubbish.

I would feel a bit sad for his boys though.

I had to laugh when a friend of mine had a girl after boys, at the same time I had DD....she commented "Girls are so much more demanding!" I had to totally disagree, as DD was so much more placid than my boys.

Small children are small children.

He won't be saying that from ooooh 3 onwards and teens?! Ha!!!!

How things change. I spent my childhood hearing people tell my parents how unfortunate they were not to have sons. Why they had to do this in front of the daughters, I don't know. Drove my parents mad.

This kind of thing was wrong-headed shit then, and it's wrong-headed shit now. Worst of all, people can't just admit they have a personal preference/prejudice, they have to justify it with all kinds of spurious nonsense about the sexes. Shrug it off.

How weird.

Have heard similar from a lot of people though. I have three boys of my own and one DSS and I wouldn't swap them.

Even though they've done my head in today!

5 boys here and i used to get that all the time.Even the midwives just ad to comment and so did the sonographer.You just let it wash over you.

My DM actually said something similar to be recently (I have a DS and I'm expecting again). I said that while I don't mind what we have, part of me would love another boy because I adore DS so much I want another one of him! (I know that's not how it works!) She started talking about how nothing beats the relationship between mother and daughter. It really irritated me and we had a bit of an argument about it, although I know she didn't really mean anything by it. I have a DB by the way! So no, YADNBU.

My sister has said pretty much the same thing to me about her daughter. I don't understand it.

'The relationship's different, it's more special' apparently.

I can only presume both of them are just overwhelmed by love for their newest addition and expressing it in a hamfisted way.

The little girl is definitely his and his wife's princess and they really dote on her. She is the opposite of her brothers who both have dark brown hair/brown eyes whereas she is blonde/blue eyed - a very pretty little girl. I remember when his wife was pregnant with her it was all a big secret and when she was born it was like their boys didn't exist at all. I actually feel quite sorry for their sons. I was just shocked that he's say it to me, not just because it's insensitive to me but it's putting down his own sons. Maybe he only said it as a one upmanship sort of thing (I have a girl you don't) but it's not like we're close and I've never said I wanted a girl to him or been in competition in anyway, I don't give a fig. It just came from such an odd place and I'd never say something like that to a relative I see once every year or two.