AIBU to worry about my late talker? Stories please!

[Ferntree]

I've come to this thread because of the traffic.

Basically - I am interested in real life stories about late talkers, if you have any? AIBU to be extremely worried about my DD?

My DD is 3 and a half and has only just started talking. Until recently she communicated by pointing and gesturing and saying "uh uh" sounds. She now says some words, and asks "why?" And "what's that?" Quite a lot.

Speech and language therapist said her understanding was good - she understands complex instructions. It's mostly her speech - expressive language delay. However, she had a bit if an issue with pronouns.

Her childminder speaks Hindi. It has suggested that the exposure to another language may have contributed to the expressive language delay.

A colleague (who used to be a nursery teacher) suggested that late talkers tend to go on to be dyslexic. AIBU to worry about this?

Stories about either late talkers or dyslexia will be appreciated.

Thanks.

For what it's worth my two have dyslexia and spoke very early, and had a large vocabulary, so I don't think you need to worry about a definitive link.

Good luck.

My son has a speech disorder and did not start speaking intelligibly until he was four. Well, he did start speaking at around 11 months and was up to two word phrases at eighteen months then he mysteriously stopped talking completely for six months, mostly garbled (but with correct intonations etc) for two years after that and after almost four years of extensive speech therapy, he can be understood about 85% of the time now (although his sentence formation is often still very quirky). DH is Indian but we never speak Hindi at home (apart from audio lessons for kids and movies). Teaching my son to read was critical in getting him to talk. For some reason, he has had no problems with learning to read words that he would never have been able to say in 'real life'. When reading, he obviously knew how they should be pronounced.

In your case, I am 99% sure that the childminder will only be speaking Hindi (or some other Indian language) in the home, even when her mindees are there. A lot of Indian mums in my area do childminding and they never speak English with each other when I see them with their charges. They will speak to any non-Indian background kids (rare anyway) in a broken type of English but not converse with them if you know what I mean. I would definitely look into that if I were you. First see a pediatrician and then get assessed by a speech therapist and/or possibly a psychologist if you think it could be autism (our son received a PDD-NOSS diagnosis at 4.5).

My brother was 4 before he started talking properly. I think it had a lot to do with being in a multilingual family but it did not affect his long term development at all. He is a highly successful and articulate young man.

some children literally have a delay and then the speech comes and everything is fine.
some children will need speech therapy. saying oh but all late talkers will be fine is daft really - some will some wont. some will need input for speech production. just as some people will need hearing aids or glasses...

however if she is asking why and what questions then cognitively she is doing well.

you really cannot know which category your child falls into - so you have seen a SLT, it is under review, you taking her to nursery. watch and review again in three months. if she needs some specialist input, make sure she gets it.

I managed with mainly grunts till I went to school apparently - I was mainly lazy, had two older sisters who understood my needs! Within a term of starting primary school I was in the top group, and I spent my entire childhood with my head in a book!

No problems with talking now... (35 years later!)

cestlavielife exactly. I hate the false reassurances I see on mumsnet (I can't do false reassurances myself).

We were told by so many people that Einstein didn't talk until he was three (so what?), all bilingual children are behind (not true), he's behind because he's a boy (he's still behind though isn't he? And what about my girl?)

Two of my children did need significant help - ds still does - and he will never talk completely normally.

If I had just sat back and waited for them to 'get there in their own time', well we would still be waiting.

Kelda they are not false reassurances but others experiences. Yes some will get there later as there is simply a delay, but fir others it may be the marker of something more. It is reassuring to read of others experiences, not all chikdren develop at the same rates. With dd her delayed speech was the indication of something more, accompanied by her behaviours. With ds 2, I don't see that, it is probably a delay we are seeking help from the SALT.

I think sillylass had it spot on!

Ah yes the old Einstein chestnut.

I haven't read the whole thread but to OP and any other concerned mums: do please ignore the Einstein/my brother was mute til he was 5 and then started speaking in whole sentences crowd and trust your instincts. If your child's speech seems to be delayed then it needs checking out.

With a bit of luck they will be fine but if they are not then better to find that out and get the right intervention in place.
Oh and do make sure they have a hearing test as part of this process too. Glue ear can be harder to spot than you might think.

Ds is nearly 7 now and doing really well but would not be without grommets/hearing aid/SALT and school intervention. It is marvellous hearing him chat away

kelda: I hate the false reassurances I see on mumsnet (I can't do false reassurances myself)

We were specifically asked for our stories

Sorry if anyone felt that I was personally attacking them. I am just expressing frustration at the world in general.

Kelda what's going on if your ok to say yes op wanted people's stories or experiences of slow talkers.

Kelda understand how that must frustrate you and I too dislike the diagnosing on mumsnet.

However op asked for stories. My oldest chatted early and is dyslexic. My second and fourth children were very slow and aren't. They all talk far far too much now apart from the teenage grunt years.

You know your child best op. If you feel she needs help keep plugging away.

Hiya!
DS1 was a late talker..HV was concerned and gave it a few months after his 2.5 check before referring..he started talking in sentences just as appointments were being arranged. He hasn't shut up since! feckin exhausting He caught up peers very quickly. BUT he had various problems through out childhood though and now in his 20s has got a ASD diagnosis and a MH issue. He also has a very high IQ (162) but struggles to settle to anything.

My little sis is dyslexic and didn't really talk until she was 3 and 1/2. She now has a BA from Oxford, a Masters and a PhD, and a very nice career involving lots of writing!

My brother was a late talker. Turns out mum was asking him questions that didn't need answers verbalised. So he'd nod, or shake his head.

For examples he used to say "Would you like a drink?" and he'd just nod or shake his head. Once she started asking something like "What would you like to drink?" he had to actually say "water" or "juice" or whatever else.

Turns out he knew the words, he just hadn't needed to talk.

No dyslexia issues with him either.

I would take this very seriously, how long has the child been at the child minder do you not know if they speak english?

I would take immediate action, if there are issues with intensive work you can reverse them the younger the child the better.

I am just struggling to understand why a child has been with a child minder who perhaps is talking in a completely different language all day?

Without derailing...how do I get the little flag?

GobbolinoCat, with that logic there's a fair few of us expats that will have to work hard to reverse all the damage we've done speaking English to our kids :D

DS did not talk until nearly 4 then hit the ground running with full sentences. He could read really well, but would not write. He would do nothing, then do brilliantly.

He underperformed in SATs but still well above the average, so did not get any help.

He underachieved at GCSE, we tried to get extra time for him for the writing, but with no luck, but was still 'clever' and well above average, so no help. At A-level, one of the teachers noted that he appeared intelligent which was deceptive as she thought he was not taking things in. However, this was too late for help as he was over school leaving age, and we decided he had to learn to overcome his difficulties.

He underperformed at A-level but got into the university of his choice.

He resat his first year, spent 3 years in his room, was dumped by his girlfriend and failed the second year exams and had to leave without finishing his degree.

Now he sits in his room and won't socialise and is having trouble looking for jobs.

If the late talking comes with any other strange developmental quirks, even if they are not 'important' or do no appear to impede progress, get to an educational psychologist and get an assessment, even if you have to pay for it. There is f-all you can do when they are 22 . There is so much more you can do to help when they are young children, if you can get the problem pin-pointed.

DS can read and write beautifully, has more than 5 gcses at more than grade C and a-levels, certificate of higher education, but so far is not functional in the adult world.

Thank you - I will have a look and see if he will too.

She still has a slight impediment, trouble with saying "r" and "l" but the therapist is confident she'll overcome that soon.

Interesting. I had speech therapy until about age 8. I didn't have problems saying "r" and "l" as such but I used to transpose letters all over the place and "l" and "r" were the two that persisted into my teens.

Hence:

"The rolly lolled into the street."

My younger brother didn't talk till that age either. He's since got into grammar school then university to study mechanical engineering and flies an aerobatics plane solo.