AIBU to worry about my late talker? Stories please!

[Ferntree]

I've come to this thread because of the traffic.

Basically - I am interested in real life stories about late talkers, if you have any? AIBU to be extremely worried about my DD?

My DD is 3 and a half and has only just started talking. Until recently she communicated by pointing and gesturing and saying "uh uh" sounds. She now says some words, and asks "why?" And "what's that?" Quite a lot.

Speech and language therapist said her understanding was good - she understands complex instructions. It's mostly her speech - expressive language delay. However, she had a bit if an issue with pronouns.

Her childminder speaks Hindi. It has suggested that the exposure to another language may have contributed to the expressive language delay.

A colleague (who used to be a nursery teacher) suggested that late talkers tend to go on to be dyslexic. AIBU to worry about this?

Stories about either late talkers or dyslexia will be appreciated.

Thanks.

[SolomanDaisy]

It is not true that being exposed to more than one language causes speech delay. Unfortunately, so many people mistakenly believe this that bilingual children often aren't offered the same level of support as monolingual children who need support with their speech.

[HaveYouTriedARewardChart]

Hi Ferntree. I took my DS2 out of his childminders when he was just over two. She spoke punjabi to him. He was only saying a very few words at this stage, and a lot were punjabi. (We are english speakers) When he started nursery he started speaking english almost straight away.

He was always been about a year behind where his older brother was with speech (DS1 was only at nursery not at a cm) and I certainly don't put the difference down entirely to the childminder, but I do think it played a part. I think exposure to another language is often believed to cause a delay in speech, but that this is not a reason to worry! Nor is a speech delay in general, as lots of people have said.

I agree that a move to a nursery would be a good idea (for lots of reasons, not just speech!).

[watchingthedetectives]

My favourite story is the one about Lord Macaulay who apparently said not a word until he was four and then having been burnt with boiling water by his nurse maid came up with 'Madam you have scalded me but the pain has somewhat abated'

My DS2 didn't speak for a long time and when he did his sentences were very mixed up - he did however read very early as he seemed to find that easier.

I wouldn't worry too much

[Aeroflotgirl]

How reassuring. Ds 2.6 years has slow speech, says the odd word, can make his needs known says pre school. He does a lot of pre talking babble (doo doo doo, baa, baa). Babbles away thinking he is talking. His understanding is very good, he loves exploring and us quite a social and happy little boy. However a visit to the speech therapist clinic a paws awful, tge SALT was very brisk and imposed her expectations on ds (rather like those bad HV you hear about). She assessed ds, he performed is very best and cooperated with her tge best a 2 year old could. Did as she asked, put the right shapes in the shape sorter and replied yes when she asked whether he wanted bubbles. Copied her when she played with the trains. Yet her outcome was awful.

She said he dies not interact as well as a 2 year old should, and he should be speaking in sentences by now. She also commented on his lack of eye contact, I had to correct her as he was giving her several eye contacts which she did not notice, when I told her that I saw him do some very good communication she brushed that aside. She was just so negative, unlike the SALTS my dd7 had in tge last. They must have left. She just said well what are you here for then! I replied speech therapy sessions and nothing else, as that is what I feel all he needs. Pre school are not concerned, they do development matters and he is hitting his targets and they describe him as a happy boy. I am sure if tgey were concerned of his development they would be raising concerns.

He is in the right direction and I know he will get there. Your experiences are helping immensly. Horrid SALT is doing a nursery assessment this week.

[kelda]

Montessouri nurseries do have a good reputation.

A childminder can influnce a child's development although being brought up bilingually is rarely a problem.

Does she still go to speech therapy?

To answer your question, yes I would be worried. Not extremely so, but enough to get my children the help that they need. I WAS worried about my children, and rightly so, and because of that, we got treatment and therapies as early as possible.

[Aeroflotgirl]

I had a parent meeting with pre school and they are getting the portage lady to help with his speech. She is lovely apparently, hopefully better than thus SALT

[ohldoneedtogetagrip]

My cousins SIL's son was 5 and spoke very little (they are in USA). They took him to a paediatrician who listen to their story and then he smiled.

He said you speak to him in English, his nanny speaks to him in Spanish, his paternal GP's speak German his other GP's speak only French and Vietnamese---what do you expect!! His brain is processing all this information, just give it time.
This boy in now 9 -never shuts up and chats away fluently in all 5 languages.
Give it time

[PrincessBabyCat]

Brother was a late talker. Didn't say much more than a few sentence fragments until he started school at 5, then decided to talk up a storm from then on. He has a very high IQ and not dyslexic.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Salt was asking about ds siblings, dd7 and has ASD, I cannot help think that once I said that she had an agenda and thought he had too. She kept referring to lack of eye contact and interaction. Well ds is so opposite and gives lots of eye contact. If his speech is slow his tge hell is he supposed to interact efficiently! He is just so calm and happy, asks questions his own way. He will point to an object and say this! Which means what is this! He will bring things to show you which dd never did. Pre school have no serious concerns, they did with dd. She was a wailing ball, used to steal right through you.

[MexicanSpringtime]

My sister was reputedly a late talker and she has almost genius-level intelligence; came first in everything all the way through school; good career, etc. etc.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Stare I meant. Pads loves eye contact loves like peepo and when we went to hospital about his intoeing walked up to people sitting in the pwaiting room, looking at them and smiling, trying to get their attention for them to play with him. He was bored of me by that point I think!

[Aeroflotgirl]

Meant ds loves eye contact games like peepo silly auto correct

[Aeroflotgirl]

They just expect too much of young children. They are all different and develop at different rates. Like adults we are not the same, some are academic, some are not, some talk fir England some are quiet. Children are no different. Give them a chance to develop. I understand there are some incidences like dd where early intervention is vital, but dd was showing concerning behaviour in all aspects.

[Ferntree]

Aeroflotgirl - I'm guessing from your posts that this is a very sensitive subject for you too. It is hard having a child who is a late talker. I agree that the milestones are anxiety provoking, especially when our child doesn't meet them.

My mum, who is a teacher, phoned earlier and I told her my worries, and she said - "the race is long"

My mum knows a girl who was a late bloomer. She didn't seem to be too bright either. That girl came in to see my mum at school last September to show her GCSE results - she got straight A grades. This girl had very supportive parents - and that apparently can make the difference.

There are other children my mum taught who looked like promising top set stars, some just mixed with the wrong crowd later in life or just stopped caring.

Also, regarding dyslexia - or any other special educational need - my mum thinks it's a good idea to find other extra curricular activities that child may excel at. So, music, sports, art, dancing, gardening etc. These things, however, tend to cost a bit extra, but it's worth it!

[Aeroflotgirl]

It is as I am that late bloomer too. I dud not talk much as a child, loner and developmentally delayed. I came into my own at 18, I have a good BA hons in psychology and a good Msc in Health psychology. Some children just peaked their time. I just feel that because dd has ASD, professionals are trying to look for it in ds, he is an individual in his own right. He dies not display concerning behaviour.

[Littlefish]

Aeroflotgirl - whilst I absolutely agree that you know your ds better than anyone else. I would just say though that if the pre-school are bringing in portage support, then they do have some concerns, whether they are the same as your concerns or not. I think it's good that the SALT is coming in to pre-school to do an assessment as hopefully they will see him in surroundings where he is comfortable. Just a thought - do you think the pre-school staff are comparing your ds with your dd and in acknowledging he does not have her difficulties, are perhaps missing some smaller areas of concern?

It's great that you are accessing a good level of support - it sounds really positive.

[steff13]

My daughter had a speech delay due to several ear infections which resulted ina 30% hearing loss. When she reached age three, she could only say about 10 words. We started weekly speech therapy, and now she is 3 years, nine months, and her speech is amazing. She still has a slight impediment, trouble with saying "r" and "l" but the therapist is confident she'll overcome that soon.

[Aeroflotgirl]

They said portage re speech intervention not behavioural. No different staff with dd, and ds. We are new to them. They are more positive and we had a very positive parent meeting. They are pleased with his development, he doesent present significant concerns to them.

[Aeroflotgirl]

I feel that they are looking him as an individual. He is always very happy when I come to collect him. No concerns behaviourally.

[APlaceInTheWinter]

My nephew was a very late talker. He just relied on his big brother and sister to understand what his noises and pointing meant. As an adult, he is very chatty, intelligent and isn't dyslexic.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Thanks for your very really helpful and insightful post silly. It is reassuring. Dd language was very good at 2, stringing simple sentences, knew over 50 words but her understanding wasn't good, and frequent mealtdowns, repetitive behaviour were concerning across the board. Pre school, salt, us were all concerned. She seemed to be different to other children. Ds understanding is good, eye contact is good but speech slow. I don't know he is such a happy boy both in pre school and home, the manager gas said he does not seem frustrated about his speech.

[Dutch1e]

There's a lot of advantages to being bilingual and not a lot of science to back up the idea that multiple languages delay speech.

[x2boys]

Some of these are very encouraging ds2 has just turned four he has a diagnosis of autism and learning difficulties he is non verbal but I hope he won't always be so I have always known he understands everything I say but it was lovely to hear his speech therapist agree his receptive speech is much much better than his expressive speech .

[loona13]

My DS did not speak until he was about 3. We were told not to worry as long as he understands what we say to him. He's now 10, and I wish he'd shut up sometimes ;-) I thought it's because we speak 3 languages at home, but apparently latest studies show it is not the case. Oh, and boys are just slower ;-) DD is 4 mths, we will see :-D