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Original poster

To cancel Fathers Day plans because Dh got so pissed last night?

236 replies

Itchyandscratchy · 15/06/2014 10:17

Dh went out with his mates last night at the working men's club: quiz, barbeque then England match. One of his mates was stopping over with us and it's been arranged for ages. Dd's & I were having a girly night.

Plan was to walk up to pub a few miles away for Sunday lunch (pub that has special family connections: my parents' wedding reception, our christening dos, my Mum's & more recently my Dad's wake). Thought it would be nice for dh & reminder of my dad too, who died 3 years ago this week.

Dh came to bed at around 5 this morning then woke me up at 5.30 pissing - yes, frickin PISSING- into my wardrobe onto my shoes, a load of my scarves & into his own shoe drawer. He was absolutely insensible.

I am beyond livid. He's lying here completely stinking. He woke up earlier to apologise & to clean the wardrobe out and asked if I would consider not being quite so judgmental as he hasn't got this pissed for many years. I told him to dream on. He obviously won't be able to drive today so I'll have to take his friend to the train station (god knows what state he's in too).

I really am not in the mood for a cosy Sunday lunch with him. The kids gave him his card & present and he managed to stay awake long enough to thank them. They didn't know we'd planned on Sunday lunch so they'd be no worse off.

I'm frickin FUMING.

OP posts:
Nocomet · 15/06/2014 11:04

I wouldn't have married a man who ever drank enough to behave like that.

Pissing or being sick any where except the toilet is never acceptable!

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 15/06/2014 11:07

ApocalypseThen Sun 15-Jun-14 10:47:27
I can't believe some people are minimizing getting into that disgusting state in the first place, pissing on your shoes and then accusing you if being judgemental if you're not keen on that kind of thing. Tyranny of low expectations or what?

I think its all about being realistic and looking at the bigger picture actually. He did wrong. he's already owned that. He cleaned up. He wants to make amends and the last time he got so pissed (scuse the pun) was 14 years ago so he doesnt appear to be one of the fuckwit types who go out getting uncontrollably drunk and having little respect for his wife on a regular basis like you see on here so often. I'd say its being realistic rather than having low expections or should we all be yelling LTB for a one off misdeamour someone clearly regrets?

FreckledLeopard · 15/06/2014 11:07

At least it isn't as bad as my colleague's husband who got so drunk he pooed on the stairs. Ugh.

Gileswithachainsaw · 15/06/2014 11:08

But he hasnt, he's already apologised, cleaned it up and stayed awake enough to let the kids wish him happy fathers day

What more do you want? A public flogging?

He should bloody apologise and no that's not enough!!
And as for staying awake? Oh how manly and amazing of him to do that. Where shall we hang the medal?

A public flogging? No, how about realising how bloody dangerous and stupid it was and how thought less!! Drink is one thing this is an entirely different level and beyond anything that people should hae to put up with.

gamerchick · 15/06/2014 11:09

Fucking hell the pitchforks are out I see.

Shit happens, he's been an idiot but as long as he sorts it out I don't see the sense of giving him a good kicking the rest of the day.

Christ god forbid any of you make a tit out of yourselves in front of your partner once in a blue moon Hmm

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 15/06/2014 11:09

If this was me and my dh had done that I'd still take the girls out for the lunch that I'd planned for ages and was probably looking forward too. He could either decide to join us or not. If I stayed at home I'd be totally fucked off and be sniping at him which would probably end up in an argument which would spoil what Should've been a special day.

I agree, no need for a public flogging, just carrying with your plans with or without him.

Mintyy · 15/06/2014 11:10

I really don't think I could ever forgive someone for getting that pissed.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 15/06/2014 11:10

And it sounds like he has- seeing as it hardly ever happens!
Talk about overeactions on here good grief!

weatherall · 15/06/2014 11:10

If it's a one off in 14 years. Makes sure he cleans and tidies and apologises.

Have your nice day out with the DCs and don't dwell on it.

Chunderella · 15/06/2014 11:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Needasilverlining · 15/06/2014 11:13

Gamerchick, again: there's making a tit of yourself and then there's PISSING ON YOUR WIFE'S CLOTHING.

If you don't get the pitchforks out for that, when do you?OP is clearly planning to forgive once he's sober enough to apologise and clean up properly, but isn't inclined to make a fuss of him until he has. What's to argue with here?

DejaVuAllOverAgain · 15/06/2014 11:16

Him getting pissed is not the problem, him getting so pissed that he well pissed in the wardrobe is the problem. No adult should get into such a state that they can't tell the difference between a wardrobe and a toilet.

OP take the dc, have a lovely lunch and raise a glass to your dad. You can talk to your dh later when he's stone cold sober.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 15/06/2014 11:18

I remember a thread once where a regular stated she was walking home after a night out with vomit in her hair and she got reactions such as 'well nobodies perfect/we've all done it' and none of this 'its disgusting to get so pissed, how revolting errrr' etc etc. The double standards on here once again astound me!

andsmile · 15/06/2014 11:18

Well...

Get yourself out woth kids and do something lovely

Get a nice figure for replacement of anything ruined

In a couple of days..as he will be hungover for a couple of days, have a reflective conversation about this. He needs to understand how his poor choices and actions resulted in a day being spoilt which is disrespectful to you and the kids (even thoguht they not aware of lunch) - he knew it was planned and he ruined it because he had pints and shots or whatever.

The pissing thing happened to me with a BF when I was much younger, pissing down the stairs and in the corner next to the front door - I was disgusted.

I never here about women getting up out of bed and pissing somewhere silly, is it a man thing?

Original poster
Itchyandscratchy · 15/06/2014 11:19

And he couldn't maintain the 'staying awake' but for very long unfortunately. He's passed out again upstairs and what passed for him clearing up was barely sufficient as it involved a couple of anti-bac wipes. My scarves will have to be hand-washed. And I walked in from the bathroom to find dd2 wearing a beret that he'd pissed on and she'd found in the pile of stuff I'd thrown on the floor. She's been chucked in the shower and is clean now.

I've told them dad can't come out with us because he's poorly from his hangover (they're 8 & 12 so no need for full details but they're not stupid). It'll be fine - but not just yet.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 15/06/2014 11:20

Nope I just see mega overreaction.. not from the OP but the heaving snarling ramping up that usually happens on these threads.

EVERYBODY is allowed a one off every now and then, Including you lot it's how it's dealt with afterwards is what matters.

Piss cleans up, clothes can be replaced and at sacrifice to his spends. But I wouldn't be dragging it out and seeth on it all day, life's too short for that shit.

Needasilverlining · 15/06/2014 11:20

Sharon, do you truly not see the difference between being sick in your own hair and opening the wardrobe and pissing on your partner's belongings?

Really?

expatinscotland · 15/06/2014 11:20

I used to be a hard drinker and hung out with like minded. Never once met a person who pissed the bed, the wardrobe, etc.

I would instantly dump/leave such a tit long before marriage and procreation.

TheCunkOfPhilomena · 15/06/2014 11:21

So sorry OP. I feel for you and your DC, are they upset at not spending fathers' day with their DF?

Not sure what you can do about it now, it's done and over and hopefully he's learnt his lesson. It is NOT okay to be so disgustingly drunk that you piss in a wardrobe. Glad he's cleaned it up and I hope he replaces all damaged items.

He is your DH so only you know if this behaviour is a one off and he is truly mortified or if it's a continuation of something more sinister and disrespectful.

I hope you and your DC enjoy the film and lunch.

TheCunkOfPhilomena · 15/06/2014 11:23

Oh god, X post. OP, seriously, this is not normal behaviour.

ClashCityRocker · 15/06/2014 11:25

I think logistically it's just easier for men as they just have to whap it out, so to speak...certainly, all my friends have a variety of inappropriate peeing stories. I certainly don't think, if it's a one-off or rare thing it's something worth leaving a relationship over (I know the OP isn't remotely suggesting that but judging by some of the replies, some would)

In my ahem, younger days I once pee'd in a pint glass because I was in somebody else's house and didn't want to flush the toilet. It wasn't a good idea and I was deeply ashamed in the morning. I was ver ver drunk though and don't get into that sort of state nowadays.

expatinscotland · 15/06/2014 11:26

It wasn't until MN that I ever heard of all these men who get so wasted they piss everywhere.

rockybalboa · 15/06/2014 11:26

Get the kids out of the house and go do something fun. Leave the hungover stinking men to clean up/get a taxi to the station etc.

FrankelandFilly · 15/06/2014 11:27

Getting so drunk that you mistake the wardrobe for a toilet is not normal. I can't actually believe how many posters are excusing this as "one of those things".

redshifter · 15/06/2014 11:28

Cut him some slack. He made a mistake. First time in 14 years. He loves you and your children. It's Father's day.