To believe we've forgotten how to eat healthily

[Yoruba]

I'm so completely fed up of the school serving up so much rubbish, with seemingly no understanding that its unhealthy. It is really really hard to find good evidenced advice about healthy eating for children. There seem to be contradictory reports coming out all the time, and I say that as someone who is really interested in this subject so it must be harder if you don't.

The school meals are utter rubbish. They have a sugary rubbishy pudding every day, sweets at every possible occasion and now they have seen fit to start selling ice creams after school to raise money.
Im not even THAT strict I don't think, I'm happy for her to have these foods but evidence shows that eating them regularly alters your taste buds and makes you crave them more. I think they should be occasional foods we eat as PART of a healthy diet, not every day.

But at the moment I'm feeling like a lone voice and I hate dd feeling like she's missing out in not having what her friends are. I don't want these things to be "forbidden" objects of desire.

It just seems as though there is very little knowledge now of what is actually healthy for children.

Fruit is packed with sugar fgs

It does get to be a problem if you are told to keep off fruit because of sugar!

I'd like to know why kids won't eat decent food ? I have 3 and they do .
I think it's because parents don't feed them properly .

I don't think you can generalise. Everyone is different, the fact a family can have more than one child yet one be fussy and the others not shows it's not as simple as just what they are fed and I think it's quite offensive to try to generalise that that is always the case

Also didn't you say earlier your youngest is only 2? Possibly a bit early to get too cocky about eating habits you never know what's around the corner!

And I bet the fussy I one is catered for - with alternatives .
I have plenty of friends - with kids and its amazing how the fussy kids are fussed over ...
Its a great way to get attention .

Actually in not cocky ! Just sick of all the talking about food .
It's just food , its not a huge deal .
And why should I pretend its not easy , its my experience and I shouldn't be scared of voicing it .

Because some children would rather starve than eat something they don't like! Trying to force it is a surefire way to create long term problems with food.

Would you force the veggies in your family to eat meat simply because the meat eaters want to? Or force a veggie diet upon the meat eaters?

Surely - to an extent - part of being a family is understanding and respecting different likes and dislikes?

That's my point actually .
You don't force . You offer .
The difference being you don't keep offering alternatives or get stuck in a rut of cooking the same trusted food .
And as for self starvation ! That is a total extreme . Extremes are not the norm yet people talk about it as such .

If only it was as simple in the real world hey!

Why do some people struggle with this idea that just because they do something with their children it doesn't mean it works for everyone!

Because maybe we might be right ! ??
It's also about observation - I have worked in boarding schools , no body was fussy there . There was too little in offer and it really was it or starve .
I also have friends - with varying eating habits .

walton it all depends on the reason behind it all I think.

I have no problem with the "eat it or don't eat it, but there's nothing else" approach.

I don't panic if my kids don't eat. They won't drop dead after skipping a meal or two.

I cook one meal that's it. No alternatives here. They have never been forced to eat though.

But I have 2 NT children who haven't developed any phobias. And I don't make a big deal out of if they have eaten or not.

I'm sure there are many cases where people have just pandered to them and parents would rather cook them
Burger and chips again as they panic over their kid not eating. Those kids may well have figured out just how to get it to.

But that's not the case for everyone. There are many reasons why kids end up fussy.

But your not and showing a lack of understanding for how things work in other families where the children don't fit your "perfect eater" idea.

Like I said just because it works for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone. Surely you can manage to see that?

Some children are just very fussy

Mil grew up very poor - sharing a bad with sisters, dad shot rabbits fir them to eat - and recalls her cousin, who was starving all the time like ffs rest of them, would not eat certain meals. And he was already hungry and knew there was literally nothing else.

I know being overweight isn't healthy but I am glad children don't face constant hunger anymore.

I tell you what I see - too many threads about food ,too many fat kids, too many diet plans, too many processed crappy foods to buy ,too many government campaigns and too many people claiming its hard to get kids to eat well .

Its ok to skip a meal or two. But i have one (5yo) who is not just a fussy eater, but a food refuser. Instant noodles and fish fingers, frozen pizza occasionally... Thats it. Nothing else without wailing and gagging (except sweets and some fruit).

I see many judgemental people who only serve to make people feel worse about situations.

What you don't see is what happens at home. What oarebts have or haven't tried.

Your own child not eating fir days and being hospitalised.

Those are extremes . As I said .
Anyway , I'm done guys !
Off to make porridge .

I think cooking with children can help.

As can letting them leave food if they don't like it. I remember my dm was so concerned I ate the food, that I hated, I would hide it it my hanky and then throw it away. I dreaded trying new stuff, too many nasty surprises.

I hated school dinners because we had to eat it all. If I had been allowed to leave the horrible dry lumpy mashed potato that used to make me gag I would have been fine with them.

I was actually surprised when I left home that I liked a lot of main meals. I had been told I was a fussy eater.

My DC is fine with food. There have been foods that have been rejected for a time, we just found alternatives. However because they are not forced they will accept their tastes may have changed and try them again.

However I am not sure my approach would work for all, some have terrible issues with eating. I hate to see parents stressing at party's though about whether a child eats a sandwich first.

As for sweets etc they are not banned but we will say what is an acceptable portion. A whole large bar of chocolate is not really acceptable. A couple of pieces is ok. Large bars like Mars etc get shared or sliced up.

Trouble is when kids are babies it's all about weight. They don't gain enough and HVs are all over it. Feed them this, feed them more often. People are literally tons from day one to feed their child more than they physically want!

If you have had a baby that struggles to keep the weight on or take enough milk to make HCPs happy then it must e hard to switch off from that and onto "toddlers live off fresh air" mode.

To start it's all about getting them to eat no matter what. Next thing you know, they are three and still expecting their favourite meal.

People also rely heavily on jars and pouches. That doesn't help with tastes and textures either. They are all so sweet, full of apple and stuff.

(This doesn't explain every child obviously but could well explain some)

I repeat. SOME not all!!!

We just had bacon and eggs for breakfast.

Anyway, I am always surprised at people who are anxious ir smug about the way "we" eat.

I am nit too bothered about school meals, it is one meal, for about 32 out of 52 weeks of the year, my main worry is wether my kids get enough! Portions are so small.

Don't get people's panic about carbs or bread either.

Am often amazed at how normal it is these days to eat in front of the telly and to eat take aways (expensive!)

Look, I am going all smug now. Tis what this sort of thread does...

I find it very odd that people talk about fruit as if it's the devil, of course given my name! if it's eaten on an empty stomach there's nothing wrong with non GM unsprayed or organic fruit (I lost 3 stone eating it for breakfast FGS.

*Yoruba I am not a qualified nutritionist but when I began to get pains all over my body I started studying many books about health and discovered the 'right' way to eat fruit (see above) and the Blood Type Way of eating which is poo pooed a lot but it explains a lot of 'fussiness' because e.g. O types are good with meat and A types aren't. Iam now 64 and am the healthiest person I know .

I love it when people have babies and 2year olds who eat anything and they think they have 'cracked it'! Mine were all wonderful eaters at that age- but you have not 'cracked it'! Come back in 4/5 yrs and let us know how it went.

Exactly Delphine, DS is 4.5 and we have had plenty of phases of not liking previously loved foods, generally he eats very well and I am greatful that I don't have to battle with him but that doesn't mean I can start telling other parents what to do, or that I am a better parent.

its like the parents on sleeping threads who preach how great their children sleep which doesn't do much to help the parents who have tried everything under the sun and are still being woken up at silly o clock!