To ask what is your instinctive response to hearing a child is Home Educated?

[NickiFury]

I am really interested to hear general opinions from everyone and hoping for some from professionals such as teachers etc. I really want to know what people think because in the main in RL, the response is overwhelmingly negative. I've had people threaten to call SS on me because ds isn't in school, been told it's "weird" and seen this face a lot.

Now to me home education is a totally normal thing but I suspect this is only because we are immersed in this world and know lots of other HE families (you'd be surprised how many are out there).

What has made me think about this was a friend telling me today that people in our community know of me and ds without ever having met us because we are notorious as that woman who doesn't send her kid to school .

Btw I also have a child who does go to school and is doing well but no one seems to gossip about that.

So what would YOU think if you someone told you their child is home educated?

Thanks .

[Bluebelljumpsoverthemoon]

I think it depends on doing the home educating. A well educated, intelligent, disciplined person with good social skills and wide friendship circle can provide a child with the skills they need to succeed in life; great idea if it works for them, the kids are thriving and happy with their life.

Religious or other kinds of ideological extremists who don't want their kids exposed to any ideas or people that don't reinforce their beliefs, terrible idea.

Socially dysfunctional people, uneducated people, dim people, disaster for the kids.

[MexicanSpringtime]

Admiration for the parents! My sister-in-law home educated and when her son, at age 15, decided to enter the educational system he was a bit ahead in some subjects and a bit behind in others and went on to get a Master's Degree.

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

DS is 16 - forgot my own son just had a birthday

[0dd]

It does make me laugh that apparently so many people know so many weird HE children.

Every single weird or socially odd person I know went to school.

[redexpat]

Exactly the same as hackmums response.

[JulietBravoJuliet]

Gut reaction is envy, if I'm honest. Ds is currently being assessed for ASD and has loads of problems in school; there's never a week goes by without me being hauled in to discuss his latest meltdown. He regularly refuses to go into school and has to be physically dragged in, which breaks my heart, and has made no friends whatsoever (he's now yr3). He seems to find the whole being in a group of kids thing very stressful, yet is great on a one to one basis, and is learning at a very slow pace in the classroom environment, yet is extremely bright and picks things up very quickly when he has no distractions.

I'm a single parent and have to work though, so couldn't HE sadly, as we wouldn't be able to afford to live. But if I could, I would, in a heartbeat, as I feel ds would thrive.

[merrymouse]

they don't have the hurly burly of having to mix with all sorts of different children and adults every day

This isn't exactly an argument for Home Ed, but I don't think many of the members of the cabinet had that either…

[hedgetrimmer]

School is not socialization its institutionalization.I lots of socially awkward kids and adults and all of them went to school!

[0dd]

I'm not saying that there's no odd HE parents out there, making a bad job of it, just that's there's a lot less than you think.

HE decades ago might have had more than it's fair share of religious or controlling parents (I don't know) but it's a more common choice nowadays. There's so many more parents picking it for positive reasons.

I think an awful lot of people still have that old image of HE in their heads and don't bother to educate themselves of the new reality of HE.

[magpiegin]

My initial reaction would be to wonder why? I know a few people who were home educated and felt they missed out at school.

I would worry about knowing enough to teach. My husband and I have 4 degrees between us (he has three of them) but we would struggle to teach languages, literature, geography and probably a few others subjects to a standard we would be happy with.

I know there are HE networks and out of school clubs but I also think it's important for children to have independent time from their parents when socialising. It's not just the mixing with other children, it's the dealing with conflict, problem solving etc that you get with spending a lot of time in the classroom with other kids without parents hovering around.

[minipie]

Not read whole thread. I'd assume:

1. some kind of SN that makes school unsuitable
   
   or
   
   
2. if child is NT, then parents have, ahem, unusual views.

[hedgetrimmer]

I cant believe people would feel sorry for HE kids,how funny!

I feel sorry for the school kids,poor things.Trotting along in their grey trouser and black shoes,being taught what someone else thinks they need to learn,becoming mindless drones. Awwwww.

[littlejohnnydory]

I'm sure home educated children interact with plenty of other people, but they don't have the hurly burly of having to mix with all sorts of different children and adults every day. They don't have to learn how to make their voice heard or to find their place in different social groups

My children did this through:

Scouts
Rainbows
Woodcraft Folk
Forest School
Home Ed music group
A sports club
At the park and play centres - organised group meets and by chance.

I honestly think they interacted with a wider range of people than they do now they are at school. Reading this thread and thinking about it is making me long to HE again!

[mawbroon]

I went to school, but for lots of reasons, our family was different from all the others and it was shit.

So now I do everything I can to help my kids avoid feeling the way I did as a child.

My reaction re home schooling is that it's not what I do, but hey each to their own.

DS1 loves school though. I might have a different opinion if he hated it.

[Idontseeanyicegiants]

Slight envy! I couldn't do it, we looked into it and it would be beyond us in terms of time and knowledge.
I do understand the socialisation element, we looked at it for DS partly because he was struggling in school and partly because he has an active social life away from it due to the sport he plays and the friends he has at the club we belong to.

[DogCalledRudis]

I think -- how lucky!
My two friends are homeschooling. One because of the child's serious illness, another is an anarchist, plus they travel a lot, so school attendance would be impossible.

[BitchyHen]

I have a very positive reaction to home education. I work as learning support in an FE college, and one afternoon a week I work with 14-16 year olds who have chosen to come into college to take GCSEs. I have found them to be polite and engaged in lessons. They seem to me to be more quirky than mainstream pupils, but have good relationships with peers and staff. I have been surprised how many home educated teens there are - around 25 enrolled on the GCSE Science course, and around the same for next year.

[promisedyouarosegarden]

I would assume that the family are quite middle class but in an alternative way - the kind to cloth nappy, anti vaccination etc.

I would also wonder whether the children are receiving the same standard of education as they would in school - I suspect that a lot of people HE because they don't trust the system, as opposed to actually being qualified to do it.

Of course none of the above may be true, but that would be my instinctive response.

[lougle]

"It's not just the mixing with other children, it's the dealing with conflict, problem solving etc that you get with spending a lot of time in the classroom with other kids without parents hovering around."

That's really interesting.

The HE group I meet with, meet at an adventure playground each week. The playground is usually only open after school/weekends/holidays but we have one afternoon per week exclusive use.

The children have conflict. They have to problem solve. They have to collaborate. They spend time making rivers (the floor is sand and there is an outside tap in the middle of the playground that gets put on), team working to make sure the river continues to flow, moving tyres around to get them out of the way.

Last week they made an improvised shop from bits they found and used stones as currency.

They are really quite resourceful and imaginative. Parents only get involved if requested or if there is a situation that needs resolving to stop someone getting hurt, just as in schools.

[NickiFury]

At it's most simple, there are children leaving school who cannot read and write, others who are bullied mercilessly and are affected their whole lives, many, many teachers want to leave the profession because the conditions are intolerable, as a previous poster said in London 40% of children are in independent education, paid for because the state option is considered to be simply not good enough. Tell me again what is so good about school?

I'm honestly not being confrontational, I am really appreciating each post. Thanks so much for replying honestly as I know AIBU can be a scary place to do that

[PPaka]

I'd think

Wow, you must have a lot of patience

How do you do it you're not a teacher?

How can you make your own children listen to you?

But then you'd never get a break from the children!

I bet they go on visits a lot- educational visits

I could never do it

[PPaka]

And I'd admire you

[TheSarcasticFringehead]

I'd think- wow, that's a bit odd. I live in the US but not as religious an area, it's quite a laid back place where most HS parents would be more likely to do it because of comparatively hippy/alternative type views, iyswim? I wish I had been home schooled as I was a school refuser from 12-15 due to MH reasons and although resources aren't available now, there is online school and so on which I think would have suited me.

[TheCraicDealer]

Honestly? Weird, and also wonder how the parents can be so confident in their abilities to teach so many varied subjects at even KS3, or late primary school. If I had to teach long division, for example, I wouldn't know where to start. I'd rather my kids were taught by someone who knew it inside out, back to front, rather than me who spent the night before looking it up on BBC Bitesize.

A PP made the point early on that schools teach children how to conform, and often wonder if deciding to HE is a deliberate attempt by parents to avoid 'conforming'. Not all of these kids are going to be able to follow their passions and end up as tree surgeons or penguinologists. Some of them are going to have to find their way in the professional world, and I imagine that could be quite difficult for someone who spent their formative years as a massive fish in a very, very small pond. You're never going to get the one on one attention your parent/teacher can give you, or the means to do 'whatever interests you' in a work environment. What if 'whatever interests you' never includes GCSE maths? You're screwed. Whereas in school we had to do it and now i literally never have to think about it again.

Also, statements like "oh and they're very normal" when discussing HE kids are immaterial when made by adults. It's what their peers think that's important. Children can smell weird a mile off.