To ask what is your instinctive response to hearing a child is Home Educated?

[NickiFury]

I am really interested to hear general opinions from everyone and hoping for some from professionals such as teachers etc. I really want to know what people think because in the main in RL, the response is overwhelmingly negative. I've had people threaten to call SS on me because ds isn't in school, been told it's "weird" and seen this face a lot.

Now to me home education is a totally normal thing but I suspect this is only because we are immersed in this world and know lots of other HE families (you'd be surprised how many are out there).

What has made me think about this was a friend telling me today that people in our community know of me and ds without ever having met us because we are notorious as that woman who doesn't send her kid to school .

Btw I also have a child who does go to school and is doing well but no one seems to gossip about that.

So what would YOU think if you someone told you their child is home educated?

Thanks .

[Hurr1cane]

I'd be jealous. I really want to HE my child with autism (as you know) but as long as he's coping with school I think the social side of things and the independence thing outweighs the fact that I can teach him 'academically' a lot better than the schools can. All of the things he has 'learnt' academically have been from me teaching him at home (although I am a trained teacher) so the thought that you can't teach a child as well as a school can isn't completely true.

I'm very jealous of you not having to do the school run as well.

To be completely honest though my first thought when someone tells me that they HE is anger at the school system, but purely because everyone I know who has to HE is because the school system has really failed a child with needs when they're supposed to be all inclusive these days.

Watch this space though. I'm ready and raring to go with HE if this new school placement doesn't work out!

[TheNumberfaker]

For a regular child with no extra needs I think it's incredibly selfish of the parents to deprive a child of a normal schooling. Humans are social animals!

[Mrsjayy]

My initial reaction is oh that but be quite isolating as if the parent is keeping their chikc away from the world

[ToffeeMoon]

Well, obviously my response would be different if you are doing it because your child has special needs that you don't feel a school could meet.

[NickiFury]

I've got my fingers crossed for you *Hurr1cane. I would love to hear a success story.

[littlejohnnydory]

Envy - I did home ed mine for a bit but they are in school now. I miss it really and think in some ways it's preferable to a school based education - freedom to learn at the child's pace and follow their interests, mainly. But my children do respond well to the structure of school and have chosen it for themselves. They know they can come out of school if they change their minds.

Another poster said they'd never forgiven their parents for home educating them. I've never forgiven mine for the experiences I had at school. I suppose it's hard to compare when you don't know what the alternative would have been like - my secondary school experience was nothing like having freedom and socialising with friends.

[0dd]

Yes, my children would often be found looking sadly out the window at the world (on the rare occasions I let them out the cupboard).

Imagine that scene in Friends when Joey is sitting looking sad at his water window thingy - it was just like that!

[PeachTrees]

I would initially think that the child would be isolated and deprived of things that school brings...friends...school trips...bday parties...sports day...

I still have many friends from school and so many great memories.

[NickiFury]

0dd

[Hurr1cane]

Thanks nicki nipped into his current school for a transition meeting again today and they're more precious about DS than I am. I hope his new school doesn't think he has been raised and schooled by a bunch of overprotective weirdos haha.

[ScarlettDragon]

That a school (or schools) must have failed your DS in some way and that's why you HE. It's something that could be on the cards for dd1 if her secondary school doesn't work out. She's starting a special secondary school in September after being in a MS primary (which was very good, but has pretty much failed her academically). We're going to give it at least a year (as it isn't a very good school, probably one of the worst special schools in the city, but that's all we've been offered by the LEA). But if it doesn't work out we'll seriously consider HE.

[littlejohnnydory]

My children did have a very good social life when home educated, really. We were lucky to live in an area with a huge HE community. I also liked the fact that they socialised with children of different ages and both genders, which they don't really now, at school. I think both school and HE can be excellent social experiences if working well, but very negative ones if it goes wrong.

[Sirzy]

My first reaction would probably be to wonder why they had made that decision.

I remember growing up some friends of my parents HE'ed their children and they were a weird family, but that wouldn't mean I would judge everyone in the same way. I know some weird people who send their children to school aswell!

[steppemum]

My gut reaction?
as pp put it, mistrust, wondering why and if it is positive or negative for the kids.

I HE ds for a year overseas, I have taught here and overseas and supported and helped lots of families who were HE.
In my current job, I support families overseas with their educational choices including HE, and go out of my way to help them find the right material and so on.

In my experience, few families do it well. The families I supported/support mostly do it because there isn't a local school that would work. Even then, with high commitment level and support and (often) other families around doing the same, and lots of local social interaction etc. It is hard to do it well. On the other hand you could say that schools don't do it well all the time either, so it is a balance of 'good enough'

In this country, I think it is harder, because of the social expectation of schooling. I have also met too many families who pulled kids out of school for somewhat dubious reasons, and then went on to not educate them well, and the families became more and more disconnected from the community.

So, initially mistrust, wondering where you fall in any of that.

At the same time, I know there are some amazing HE families out there, who have lots of good reasons for doing it and who are doing a great job, and whose kids are fab. If you are one of those then I take my hat off to you as HE my ds was one of the hardest things I have ever done (and I am a teacher!)

[IneedAwittierNickname]

My initial response is that I wish I could do it.
Then I think its weird and bad for the child socially.
Then I think of course its not, there's a big HE community where I live.
Then I end up having an argument in my head

[Imsuchamess]

Ok instinctive response is I couldn't do that as I don't feel I have a broad enough knowledge to do that. I wonder how their test scores match up to a child educated in school and I wonder about whether they are missing out on the lack of social setting.

Then I think it's none of my business and that I don't know enough about it to judge.

[Hurr1cane]

I can't scroll back to find the usernames on my phone but to the person who asked nicki if letting him do other educational things when 'he doesn't feel up to it' was allowing him to do what he wants when he doesn't feel like it.

It isn't like that at all.

With autism 'he doesn't feel up to it' means he really needs other needs met today.

A bit like someone with mobility problems that flare up 'not feeling up to' being able to walk that day.

It's not the same as just feeling like being a bit lazy, and I'm sure nicki can tell the difference between her child trying to avoid work because he's feeling lazy and him needing other needs met.

[Velvetbee]

I'd think, ooo, possibly more friends for my HE kids, wonder what they're into.
(Quite sad that others think HE means isolation or an inability to be in the real world. My kids are in the real world, every day, because they're not shut up in school. And the little ones are out now playing in the street with their schooled friends.
Sad too that someone was not offered effective maths and science teaching, my older ones do chemistry and biology in a group complete with dissections and explosions and taught by a doctor of chemistry.
So many families HE now and there are lots of opportunities. Perhaps it was rarer and so, more isolating in the past?)

[NickiFury]

Thanks *Hurr1cane. That's spot on

[Mrsjayy]

If there js a network then great but if not then I think it could be quite insular iyswi m

[Fairylea]

My first thought is that it's not very good for the child socially. I think it's really important for children to mix with as many different types of children from as many backgrounds as possible. If a child is only mixing with other children that are home educated I'd feel that was quite a narrow way to bring up a child. I think it prepares them well for adulthood to enable them to have all kinds of social experiences.

[weegiemum]

I only know one HE family personally.

I think generally, if it suits your family, great.

I worked for 2 years as a home tutor for children too unwell to attend school and they did great.

However ... The People We Know! They home educate for idealistic/religious reasons. They don't want their 3 ds "exposed" to thinking like there might be other religions in the world other than very conservative Christianity. They don't want them to hear about evolution, or anything that suggests the earth might have existed before 4004 bc. They want all education to be based on biblical verses and church teaching.

When we (now very occasionally) visit, they ask our children don't talk about science, or religion (though we are proper go-every-week types!), or even mention that school exists. We'd a massive fight when both families met at some limestone caves and the mum was raging that I mentioned to my kids about stalactites taking tens of thousands of years to form (I'm a geog teacher with joint honours degree in geog and geology!!)

Last time we visited we'd just heard of the birth of a new cousin for our dc. We were asked not to mention it because talking about reproduction was inappropriate for their children, oldest was 9.

I think that what they're doing to those boys verges on abusive. We're Christian but more than happy with Darwin etc - we don't take it all that literally. I do wonder what will happen to those boys when they have to encounter the real world. They've no tv, no internet, no newspapers even!

This is my only first hand experience of HE. Not pretty!

[jessplussomeonenew]

Michael Gove is the most powerful argument for home schooling... I think schools have changed a lot since current parents were there and it has made me more positive about HE as a way to avoid the joy of learning being utterly squashed by endless tests and test-focused teaching.

[vestandknickers]

Home educated children aren't locked up you know. They get to interact with other people.

I'm sure home educated children interact with plenty of other people, but they don't have the hurly burly of having to mix with all sorts of different children and adults every day. They don't have to learn how to make their voice heard or to find their place in different social groups.
Schools can be really difficult places for children, but they are teaching life skills that just can't be learnt in their own home.

This is my opinion - which the OP asked for. I know about school life, but know very little about home education so it is entirely possible I am wrong. It isn't polite or helpful to ridicule my opinion though odd.

[HopeClearwater]

I'd think 'I wonder if they are Plymouth Brethren'. Then I'd forget about it.