To ask what is your instinctive response to hearing a child is Home Educated?

[NickiFury]

I am really interested to hear general opinions from everyone and hoping for some from professionals such as teachers etc. I really want to know what people think because in the main in RL, the response is overwhelmingly negative. I've had people threaten to call SS on me because ds isn't in school, been told it's "weird" and seen this face a lot.

Now to me home education is a totally normal thing but I suspect this is only because we are immersed in this world and know lots of other HE families (you'd be surprised how many are out there).

What has made me think about this was a friend telling me today that people in our community know of me and ds without ever having met us because we are notorious as that woman who doesn't send her kid to school .

Btw I also have a child who does go to school and is doing well but no one seems to gossip about that.

So what would YOU think if you someone told you their child is home educated?

Thanks .

[Hoppinggreen]

Honestly ( and I know its probably unfair) I would think weirdo hippy lentil weavers!!

[HopeClearwater]

Good to know that I won't be able to offend any of the Brethren via the internet too.

[hackmum]

My instinctive response is probably slightly weird, controlling and/or hippy-dippy parents. My more considered response is that, of course, many parents have good reasons for home educating, e.g. the child is being bullied or not well taught in school, or the child has special needs that the school isn't catering for. And I do know parents who are HE for this very reason, and I admire them.

But yes, I must admit that with no other information, I find it a bit weird, and a bit sad for the child. I know school isn't perfect, I know they have a regimented and narrow curriculum and kids can have horrible experiences there, but my DD has mostly had a lovely time at school and has made great friends, and I wouldn't have wanted to deprive her of that.

[NickiFury]

I personally know of a number of families where their HE teenagers have achieved GCSE's and gone on to college, I know a 14 year old who is doing a degree with the OU, I have heard of any number of teenagers who on deciding what they want to do in the future realise that they'll need GCSE's and study and achieve them within 6 months. I think the formal quals is a red herring tbh, you can get them as easily as any other child except you have to pay!

[andsmile]

unconventional thats what comes to mind. but only because the majority of people do send their children to a school.

i dont think it is weird because I have read freds on here.

[Mrsjayy]

I dunno what plymouth bletheren is

[PlumpPartridge]

I'd think the child would probably end up as a slightly socially awkward adult who had an uncomfortably close (to me) relationship with his parents. My parents mostly ignored me so I view positive family relationships with suspicion.

Sorry, but you did ask. It's my baggage though and not an accurate reflection of you, I'm sure.

[Viviennemary]

I'd think poor little hot house plant. Sorry but you asked for first instinct.

[HappyMummyOfOne]

I'd feel sorry for the child (both for the social side, normality and education levels) and assume the parents couldn't bare to part from them.

[larrygrylls]

My first reaction would be to be sorry for the child and the missed 'normal' childhood. I do think that school exists for a reason and that children should have a little independence from their parents, from an early age. We also demand qualifications from teachers and increasing subject knowledge depending on a child's age. Of course there are some parents who can do all the above but at what cost to the rest of their lives?

I also wonder to whom the child would turn in the event of an argument/falling out with the parent(s) doing the home educating. Finally, I feel it is putting a huge guilt on a child who fails to do well when being home educated. There is no safe environment to return to if you fail to perform well in tests/exams as home is school and vice versa.

I accept that it may be the least bad solution for some, depending on personalities and local schools, however I would never consider it myself for all the above reasons.

[Canus]

We'll my opinion is skewed by the fact that we HE one of ours.

WRT to the socialisation/ people skills thing, every single ill mannered, ignorant, ill educated adult I've met has been state schooled.

I don't conclude that state schools only turn out that sort though.

[Mrsjayy]

I dont think its weird not really I have read stuff about it but the initital reaction is its unconventional, what do they do about exams or going to college uni to childten need to do some sort of exams at secondary level?

[Mintyy]

My first reaction is always the same - I could never do that for my child. I couldn't stand the lack of freedom.

[NickiFury]

Your second paragraph is so true it's funny Canus

[0dd]

Some of the rubbish posted here makes me sad. And I bet makes the baby Jesus cry.*

I expect better from other MNetters. You've let me down, you've let other MNetters down, and worst of all you've let yourself down.

[Mrsjayy]

Oh thanks nick I missed that,

[catnipkitty]

I home ed my kids and have honestly never had a negative response when telling people. Most people are interested and ask questions. And I do know some weird home edders, and some really religious ones, but most of them are normal (including us I hope!).

[SconeRhymesWithGone]

Well, I live in the US Bible Belt, and in the US home-schooling is heavily associated with fundamentalist Christianity and use of corporal punishment in the home. So if someone tells me they home school, I am a bit wary.

[Gingermum]

I wonder how many parents question whether they are educated enough themselves to offer home schooling? The parents I know who home school are doing it because they don't like the local schools, but that doesn't automatically mean that they are qualified to teach themselves. I teach in HE and a couple of the people I teach have said they home school their children. And they both had really bad spelling and grammar, and neither could write 'bum' on a wall. It's all very well waffling on about 'creative learning' but not if you can't construct a sentence.

[merrymouse]

I think the practicalities of home ed have changed a lot over the last 10 years, largely due to the internet. It is much easier for home edders to communicate with each other and organise groups, communicate with home edders in different parts of the country and the world, access educational information and on-line learning and find out about sports and other activities for their children to take part in.

I don't think it is any more isolating than sending your children to a rather small private or village school and some parents do it because they want the freedom to travel with their children and introduce them to other communities and cultures or allow them to do activities that wouldn't be easy to organise within the school timetable (e.g. sport, music).

Any home edder would be lying if they told you it was a constant stream of joy and educational enrichment. However, school isn't perfect either. You pays your money, you takes your choice.

[beanynamechange]

I used to think it was odd, in equal parts with pretty cool- because you could learn really in depth about the things you love, and 'just enough' about the things you don't (obviously within reason!)
I've got a friend who home eds her 3 children, and they are the most knowledgeable, social, interesting children I know! They always seem so excited about what they have learnt, they go places all the time- relevant to what they are studying, they experience the food culture of the countries they are learning about, they actually visit a river if that's what they are looking at... They have such a passion for life that id love to be able to do it, but on the other hand the mother is obviously a SAHM, father works flat out full time to provide, she's always tired- as 'teaching' in the day and planning at night....

I'd love to do it but i don't have the right mentality :(

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

I home ed my DS who is 15. I took him out of school last October as a last resort because he was a "refuser".

I had resisted this for over a year, thinking about time, my abilities and hundreds of other reasons.

I get raised eyebrows, but mainly respect for taking the decision and turning it into a positive thing. In 6 months, my aggressive, troubled and deeply unhappy son has transformed into a lovely young man of whom I am so proud. He is going to college in September, has a fantastic social circle and has developed excellent morals and values.

School is not for everyone and although it was not exactly a choice, I wish I'd done it sooner. Yes, formal education is important, but there are alternatives. My son learns in a way that works for him, enhances both our lives and gives him the best start possible in life.

Do what you feel is right for you and your child.

[OutsSelf]

We live in London, it doesn't seem that "alternative" here. More than 40% are in independent schools here, which rather distorts the demographic of the state schools.

I'm not so sure the social lessons that an inner London comp "teaches" or rather, the social dynamic that happen while schools try to deal with endless bureaucracy, safeguards and national targets with a disadvantaged demographic is so valuable. It's sexist and brutal, and shot through with a distrust of teachers in particular and authority in general. I'm not convinced anyone HEing is losing out so very much in context of "social" life.

[catnipkitty]

Oh, and to the above poster who mentioned freedom, well we have a lot more since kids left school, it's just that we enjoy it together - I love sharing life's experiences with my kids.

[hedgetrimmer]

I home educate, i have 5 children and the oldest is 6, so only the eldest two are officially home educated.

I have never had any negative reactions out and about,only from my mum,who's opinion i don't take into account for lots of reasons.

Mostly people just say i must be busy or ask how i "teach" them all.I don't really "teach" them much at all,i mean i am helping them learn to read and write and they are learning maths as they go along,everything else is just following their own interests.

They are the happiest, most confident, brightest kids i know/have ever known!Everyone says so not just me

To be fair,the home ed groups i have been to DO have some strange people there,and people who fit the stereotypes mentioned,but on the whole are just as nice as families who;s kids go to school!