I think it's a crying shame that there is so much stigma attached to home education
Well maybe those of us who home educate should be prepared to take a little responsibility for how that stigma evolved and accept it didn't occur in a vacuum. If of course we want it to go away, rather than utilise it to feed a persecution complex and snipe about other people's choices, or needs ?
In answer to the OP's question, I would nod politely. Avoid mentioning that I pulled my almost 14 yo out when he he was 8. Scuttle off at the earliest possible moment.
I am sure you are lovely and doing all aspects HE really well. However I am no longer prepared to take any chances with my blood pressure, so actively avoid the HE "community", or identifying myself as one of them.
I don't enjoy the gen pub thinking I must be an oddball or doing my son a disservice when they discover my educational choices. But I don't blame them for having those sorts of doubts. And actually, their doubts have been good for me. They have forced me to examine my choices through their lens, which has worked towards keeping me "honest", in the sense of double checking that I make my choices for his sake, and not my own preferences/ease.
Truth be told, after all these years of the HE community, on and off line, I don't think those gen pub doubts are necessarily unjustified or unreasonable. I have plenty of exactly the same doubts myself, doubts that are a direct result of what members of the HE "community" have said, done, supported and defended over the years.
Maybe I have been unlucky, but IME those who are prepared to short change their children academically/socially in the name of their own beliefs, or philosophy (or indolence) don't appear to be as vanishingly rare as is often claimed.
To the posters here who had a crappy HE experience, I have no intension of "hand wafting" away your shrinkage of options or happiness as adults. Not in the name of "well school fails some kids too", "oh well you are just an outlier" , or any other form of minimising your experiences. As far as I am concerned you matter as human beings, you are not just some annoying blot on a debate point. And given that there are no accurate stats on how many kids are HEed, let alone anything that can point to typical educational attainment/ future social inclusion.... how can we say your experience is all that rare ?
I think your voices and experiences are important, and frankly should get a damn sight more attention from the HE community. We shouldn't just be waggling the cases that get to Oxford or become precocious millionaire entrepreneurs by the time they are 12.
In the name of making sure we are doing the best by our own kids I think we should spend considerably more time actively seeking out those who don't have such a positive view of their parents' HE choices. Maybe we could become open to actively seeking out "formerly HEed and underwhelmed by the experience" adults. Creating a safe space where they could speak unafraid of attack, accusations of trolling, or being told it was all their fault anyway. Really delving into finding out which elements of their experiences cast doubt on some of the tightly held tenants of faith. And then making sure that their experiences are accessible to actual and prospective HErs so they can make as informed a choice as possible based on their own family's strengths, weaknesses, needs and wants, well aware of risks and pitfalls.
I think the above might actually give the gen pub more reason to reassess their doubts about us than getting stroppy about "stigma" on a talk board will.