To ask what is your instinctive response to hearing a child is Home Educated?

[NickiFury]

I am really interested to hear general opinions from everyone and hoping for some from professionals such as teachers etc. I really want to know what people think because in the main in RL, the response is overwhelmingly negative. I've had people threaten to call SS on me because ds isn't in school, been told it's "weird" and seen this face a lot.

Now to me home education is a totally normal thing but I suspect this is only because we are immersed in this world and know lots of other HE families (you'd be surprised how many are out there).

What has made me think about this was a friend telling me today that people in our community know of me and ds without ever having met us because we are notorious as that woman who doesn't send her kid to school .

Btw I also have a child who does go to school and is doing well but no one seems to gossip about that.

So what would YOU think if you someone told you their child is home educated?

Thanks .

I want to know that too!

I would say hippy type names and very, very posh names, especially for girls, are found disproportionately among those who have HE'd from the start.

This is probably because they tend to be disproportionately hippies and very, very posh.

I think those who have just come to HE having taken kids out of school just have normal names. I do think to some extent you can often spot an HEr from the start by the kids having a particular kind of name.

I'm not sure any of the many I've encountered are posh. Degree educated in the main, and one a Dr (but they were the weird religious ones), but not posh.

I met a Raven and Malice from a pagan family, but other than that fairly mainstream names!

"I can't suddenly decide I'm going to be a doctor or a vet, so why is it ok to teach your own kids at home if you're not a qualified teacher.

To me it makes the assumption that anyone can be a teacher."

Most children start school able to speak well, dress themselves, some can read, many can write and draw well. They can sing. Almost all have been taught to do these things by their parents.

It saddens me that people believe that that they are incapable of teaching and their children can't learn without a qualified teacher on hand.

Children can attend school for YEARS and learn almost nothing of use. Bullying is common, and children deal with it by becoming intensely conformist and self-conscious.

School can be very harmful and limiting to children, and HE can be liberating and culturally and intellectually enriching.

I am more of the go and google it and then ask me questions if you need to know anything else and they usually do, so maybe I am doing something right . We tend to work in ten or 20 minute blocks too so he doesn't feel so overwhelmed (vital with ASD)

Sounds to me like you are doing something right, and you will continue to!

I don't hate HE. I don't think it should be illegal. I just think people should think about the how, as you put it!

Ah then there is a world of HErs waiting for you to meet, Beatrice.

I do think if you want to get a good idea of the HE world, in all its mundanity, a HE meeting is a good place to get a sense of it. Mich better than relying on your impressions of people you've met, in a social/professional setting IMO.

Much

I can spell, my phone can't.

"I would say hippy type names and very, very posh names, especially for girls, are found disproportionately among those who have HE'd from the start.

This is probably because they tend to be disproportionately hippies and very, very posh "

Oh yes, this is my experience too.

It was misjudged imo because I would like to think that most people have further thoughts after an instinctive response.

But if that is what you wanted that is what you got! In spades

OP, I don't think any of the negative reactions to HE on this thread are directed at you and your sons situation. No one could possibly think you are doing anything wrong. I have read the thread and I couldn't find a single post criticising you. although I could be wrong I really don't think you need to feel wobbly

"You get middle class hippies with kids called Otter (love that!) and Serafina ... You get the "Euthanasia doesn't need GCSEs, she is planning to open an Etsy shop and live on nothing but her unschooling-derived wits, and our extensive family savings.", and then you get the bible maulers being handed an invitation to the wedding of the lovely two-mother family, and the people who get really offended when you call them Anarcho Libertarians because they are Libertarian Anarchists. And we all have to rub along because there's no choice."

But you're describing the parents, sigyn, and the question was about the children.

"It was misjudged imo because I would like to think that most people have further thoughts after an instinctive response."

I agree with this. I'd really, really be interested in what people thought after consideration. I think a dialogue would be interesting.

I'm also happy to answer questions and I think others would be too, in a respectful thread.

I think that the mistake a lot of HEers make is just being too polite. You really do not need to explain or justify. It rarely gets anywhere,as demonstrated by this thread because minds are set on both sides.
I wouldn't get into 'socialisation' or any other question. If you just say 'it suits us' or 'it suits us at the moment' , there is nothing to be said- just smile and repeat and change the subject as necessary.
Some people didn't like my choice of school- 'I wouldn't touch it with a barge pole' to quote one! It was her loss, it was a good school and we were happy with it throughout. I can't see why I needed to change their mind- they wouldn't have fitted the ethos if the school anyway.

We have a family business (with some dependable staff) so DH is free to help more than if he'd stayed in his previous profession. I rarely help with that side (I don't have the time and it's not my field of expertise) but the DC have used for WE.

"But you're describing the parents, sigyn, and the question was about the children."

Sorry, I'm confused. I'm describing the parents because a . I don't really want to have a go at the kids and b. kids tend to reflect the parents.

My experience is that middle class kids tend to have middle class parents. Hippy kids tend to have hippy parents. And kids whose parents live on housing estates are disproportionately likely to live with them, on those same housing estates. Which is why I described the parents. It seemed relevant.

I think names are a real red herring- as a volunteer over the last few days with a charity working with schools there were some very strange names!

I've got to end of Page 20. Tilly - the trick is to IGNORE the fruit bats, I've found. Whether you come across them in the HE community or in the 'mainstream'. I'm sorry your experiences were negative, and I'm not denying stuff like that still happens. BUT I just want to point out that it doesn't have to be so.

Most teachers will spend a fair chunk of their day in 'crowd control' esp in the tough high schools. Most HE parents don't need these skills unless they are fighting off the fruit bats .....

I may have a home-ed name. I've always thought of it as a pretentious twat name though. I won't tell you it, because there's only one of it in my town, since the other one moved, and I would be highly identifiable.

My mother had a book about home-ed by a mother with two daughters called unusual things, too.

My thoughts
re SEN - some probably are better off being HE is some areas, and some schools and with some parents.

bullying. In some cases. But not as many as are HE. I actually think that it is very important in a lot if not most cases for the child to stay in school, and for the parents and child to work through the issues with the school. Or even try another school. I dont think that it is in a lot of childs' interest to be taken out. As children are going to grow up into adults, and mix with many people throughout their lives. So essentially the problem of socialising does not ever go away.

Sorry, it is too late at night to be able to think of any other good reasons for taking a child out of school to Home Ed.

I've actually volunteered in my local school

Daisy, Isabel, Lucy, Annabel, Isabella, Daisy, Olivia, Olivia, Isabel, Ben, Oliver, Oliver, Jack, Oliver,Harry, Oliver, Will, Max, Oliver, Freddie....etc

I have to say, I prefer HE names. I've come across some brilliant names that I wish I had the courage to use. I've met several Indigos and I do think that's a great name.