To ask what is your instinctive response to hearing a child is Home Educated?

[NickiFury]

I am really interested to hear general opinions from everyone and hoping for some from professionals such as teachers etc. I really want to know what people think because in the main in RL, the response is overwhelmingly negative. I've had people threaten to call SS on me because ds isn't in school, been told it's "weird" and seen this face a lot.

Now to me home education is a totally normal thing but I suspect this is only because we are immersed in this world and know lots of other HE families (you'd be surprised how many are out there).

What has made me think about this was a friend telling me today that people in our community know of me and ds without ever having met us because we are notorious as that woman who doesn't send her kid to school .

Btw I also have a child who does go to school and is doing well but no one seems to gossip about that.

So what would YOU think if you someone told you their child is home educated?

Thanks .

Instinctive response is to be incredibly grateful that my few short years of HE-ing my children are way in the past. We lived abroad and topped-up what they were doing in school with extra English, maths and science to try and keep pace with the National Curriculum for when we came back to the UK. I hated it so much

First impression...that they parents and child are not happy re the school...that would be us...ds1 now at secondary...home edded for around 5 years.No we are not rich and no we did not hot house.DS2 is 7 and at school and it feels like we are trying to undo the tripe he comes home with.

i think i could very easily teach any academic subject up to gcse
i used to learm german at school. the teacher used to learn it the week before at evening class. that is a 100 percent true story

What annoys me is that some people say "oh, there are some home ed parents who abuse their children and so therefore home ed is wrong'.

But to me it is somewhat a numbers game.

The ratio of HE to mainstream school appears to be 1 : 1000

So if someone knows 3 [and sometimes it is a group of children] familes who HE and quite frankly dont do anywhere near a good job, the equivalent would be 3,000 in mainstream school.

Not sure if I am expressing myself well.

oops. The link was about abused children.
I am talking about families who are nowhere near teacher material.

OP-can I ask.

Why do you want people's instinctive reaction to HE?

We all have "instinctive reactions". Often they aren't our real or best reactions. They've basically our knee jerk prejudices, which might or might not be the reactions we have after a little consideration.

The trouble with HE is that its one of those things that most people don't have direct experience of. I don't think having a ten minute conversation in the park with a single HEr, or even knowing one HE family, really gives you the flavour of what it is. A lot of the negative comments on here are based on assumptions. HErs must not see other kids. HErs must not mix or be subjected to difficult social situations. If HErs are socially awkward, that's because the are HEd rather than them having been removed from school because the social awkwardness was preventing them being educated. This really just is not how it works, but its absolutely how you'd probably think it worked if you lacked the experience. Just as, tbh, as someone who has had kids in school and now is temporarily HEing, I do find HEr comments about teachers and schools really unpleasant and dismissive some of the time.

I can say that in the year or so we've been HEing we've not had one really negative comment, if that helps

sanfairyanne

And godlets only know what kind of stuff you would have had to unlearn at A-level.

Delphiniumsblue you've no idea why I asked? It's all in the OP confused
I have actually found you quite abrupt and defensive on this thread and I am not sure why

Firstly my apologies-I had completely forgotten OP by that point and even that OP was HEing a child.
I was only getting rather uptight because we were asked our instinctive first response and then I was told that I had the wrong instinctive first response! I can't see any use in not giving the truth.

I can't see that it matters, because I would never give it to someone doing it.
My initial response is to feel very sorry for the child- but I never go beyond a bland 'really' and change of subject. The only time that I might get into discussion is if I was appalled that they had special needs that that education system had not supplied or bullying that wasn't addressed. Other than that it is boring-rather like getting into long discussions about how to bring up babies-not something that I want to do.

Hmm, just reread the OP and you do explain there so I apologise.

In which case, this is quite interesting reading.

I shall now plough through the thread, see you in a few years

I wanted "instinctive" reactions because on MN posters often do toe the party line on possibly contentious subjects (especially in AIBU) for fear of being leapt on. I wanted it to he clear that I wanted honest responses however unpalatable and wasn't looking for a bun fight.

We all have "instinctive reactions". Often they aren't our real or best reactions. They've basically our knee jerk prejudices, which might or might not be the reactions we have after a little consideration

That was my point. With consideration I would have put it differently. I was only asked for the instinctive reaction- and then told off for giving it!

Wow Tilly, projecting much?? As you have nothing objective to say I shall ignore you from now on. Throughout all of this I have commented on how there is good and bad in all areas and choices but you feel free to keep banging on your own personal drum. But don't presume to know anything about my own situation/motivation/ability.

I'll just reply to the OP rather than the whole thread.

My instinctive reaction is that some people have damn good reasons for doing it, I know a couple. If it's done well by someone capable then I don't see an issue.

I considered it on and off, though not very seriously, while DD was midway through primary, she had a couple of teachers who were very much "she's ahead of where she needs to be, why push her?"

In the end I decided against because of the social aspect, I know there are groups but I'm not a sociable person I could see us spending a lot of time, just the two of us.

Can you not reply to my criticism of "learning together" as an effective method of teaching, then? Right now, I am self-teaching myself Welsh. Extrapolating from previous experiences with self-teaching, I am not going to be good enough to spot and explain even simple beginners' mistakes without passing on my own errors, for a minimum of a year. Minimum. Two years of work is more likely to be required.

oh yes, learning gcse german that way is appalling, but tbh gcse is pretty darn easy so no big deal. i suppose my point was just that dont go thinking schools are crammed full of experts in their field

I too am surprised by the amount of negative impressions. I don't think that's rude at all I am just surprised by it. I assumed most people would feel "meh" about it, or perhaps be a bit "Are you mad, why would you want to?!"

Dunno, for me my first instinctive response is "Oh, cool." . I really really love the idea and thought of HE but realistically I am too lazy, too prone to depression, too disorganised/forgetful (I barely remember to book dentist appointments let alone sort out educational visits etc) and don't have enough patience or self discipline or energy. Makes me sad - I would love to be the kind of person who could do all that, and suspect I would really enjoy the whole process too but I'm just not.

I am surprised though at the strong theme coming through this thread that school education is pretty much the only valid form of education, the worry about exams, the absolute conviction that learning happens in discrete "subjects".

tilly, i really dont think that is the case for everyone at all. maybe to a level standard, but not to gcse. you could do that with a couple of weeks application

autodidactism has a long and distinguished history, after all

Tilly, I have a degree, a long list of A levels and an even longer list of GCSE's, plus a number of other academic qualifications within my professional field. I'm a bit of an academic nerd. For example, even now, I am studying another BA through the Open University just for the fun of it.

My "learning together" comes from when, for instance, dd expresses a desire to learn about Geology or Late Tudor clothing and I have to read up in advance to ensure we study at an appropriate level.

I am sorry that your own experiences were not positive but I object to being tarred with the same brush as those who do not do the best by their child.

sanfairyanne The present system does not meet my standards in many areas. (Primary maths teaching is a particular bugbear, and for secondary school, GCSE languages taught by non-specialists.)

But in the main, apart from Gove's relaxation of the rules for academies and free schools, it's not bad enough to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

X-post.

sanfairyanne In my opinion, a GCSE German higher candidate should be able to pass a Goethe Institute exam at A2 if not B1 level. They should have mastered the following tenses: present, imperfect, perfect, pluperfect (both with haben and sein), and have the present conditional down. Full grasp of cases: nominative, accusative, genitive, dative, in all three genders and plural, and a wide range of vocab. In short, they should be capable of writing a short, simple, but grammatically correct essay on any topic, provided they have a dictionary.

As far as I can tell, it takes people more than two weeks to grasp subject/object distinctions!

The quickest I've ever managed a GCSE course from little or no knowledge was four months. For all language courses so far, I've needed 9 overall, and a month's study to be able to submit decent coursework/controlled assessments.

Honestly, and without reading the thread, I would be concerned about the level of education they are receiving and whether it was at the right level for their age and covered all subjects.

I have no issue with HE if it is done properly and the child is still able to socialise properly. Thats why I think that OFSTED should inspect HE situations as well as schools.

Well the LA do not fund us and bend over backwards to let us know that, we don't get anything whatsoever towards my ds's education despite the fact that they were unable to educate him.

Perhaps if I we were to receive funding then they'd be more at liberty to have OFSTED inspect us.

WeirdCatLady And is your tuition on subjects new to you of as much value as those on subjects you have knowledge of?

If you say yes, then why are you studying with the OU then, if professional tuition is of no value, instead of simply buying books from hive.co.uk? Yes, I know level 2 and 3 are rather beyond GCSE level, but level 1 modules are pretty often equivalent. Interaction with people who know their subject has value.

I have experienced both. I used to assume I would home-educate as a matter of fact and parrot all the phrases. Then I actually experienced the state education system. Sure, sometimes fuck-ups happen. I will not deny that.

What I will deny is that "your baby, your roolz, hun" has any validity as a philosophy. On weaning or education.