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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what is your instinctive response to hearing a child is Home Educated?

999 replies

NickiFury · 12/06/2014 16:31

I am really interested to hear general opinions from everyone and hoping for some from professionals such as teachers etc. I really want to know what people think because in the main in RL, the response is overwhelmingly negative. I've had people threaten to call SS on me because ds isn't in school, been told it's "weird" and seen this Confused face a lot.

Now to me home education is a totally normal thing but I suspect this is only because we are immersed in this world and know lots of other HE families (you'd be surprised how many are out there).

What has made me think about this was a friend telling me today that people in our community know of me and ds without ever having met us because we are notorious as that woman who doesn't send her kid to school ShockGrin.

Btw I also have a child who does go to school and is doing well but no one seems to gossip about that.

So what would YOU think if you someone told you their child is home educated?

Thanks Smile.

OP posts:
xihha · 13/06/2014 13:59

truthfully it would depend on the parent, with most parents i would just think wow, i wouldn't have the patience.

However i have a friend from school who has just decided to homeschool her 4, soon to be 5, for primary from September because taking the eldest to school is too much effort and she got a letter about his attendance, I genuinely think her children won't learn enough to function in the real world. I've heard her read to the kids, she still needs to sound words out. She's a loving mum and she knows lots of things but never learned to read or write particularly well, she's said herself that she doesn't want to (we met when I was her reading buddy at school) I genuinely cant see how she can teach the kids skills she doesn't have. Plus her baby is due end of August so she'll be homeschooling whilst looking after 2 toddlers and a newborn. so in her case I look at her and think, this really is a bad choice made for the wrong reasons.

magicalriff · 13/06/2014 14:02

Admittedly some of the equipment can be pricy, and some only sell in bulk, so a bit of hunting around is definitely sometimes required Grin

catsrus · 13/06/2014 14:03

Chemistry set in Argos? reviews.argos.co.uk/1493-en_gb/7282371/reviews.htm
Currently out of stock but loads of places sell them - and it's not difficult to use simple ingredients to teach some key basics - remember the old bicarbonate of soda and vinegar volcanoes ? Added food colouring for dramatic effect.

magicalriff · 13/06/2014 14:03

Ebay is also good for science bits and bobs, and secondhand equipment.

JoffreyBaratheon · 13/06/2014 14:05

Ah this shows I am prejudiced (former teacher here and my husband's a TA). But... we were in T K Maxx yesterday, upstairs, and suddenly from nowhere these 4 primary aged kids started running up and down and chasing eachother, shouting and screaming. It made the entire floor shake. No parent in sight - we were the only other people on that entire floor. Must admit, my husband and I turned to eachother and simultaneously both said "Home educated!" Sorry OP, because that is unfair but... yes... my first thought is "feral".

My secod thought is - I am a qualified, experienced teacher and yet would not want to home educate because I know even I couldn't give them the rounded education they need and, years down the line, they'd be limited in the GCSEs they could take which would close entire career/uni paths down, to them. Sorry but that is the truth. My degree is in the Arts. I couldn't teach Year 7 Science and I couldn't offer PE or... well I am sure you have heard this speech a million times so will spare you it but... yes.

Years ago I moved house and my LEA (Birmingham - it's shit) refused to find my son a place at the nearest school. This meant we had to walk several miles a day (with a baby in a sling and a second special needs baby in a pushchair, come rain or shine) to get my son to school. In the end I decided to home educate my oldest to pressurise the LEA. Cue tribunal which I won. My son was given a place at the school on the next street.

He definitely lost some ground in those couple of months I home educated. Definitely. And I was a teacher.

TillyTellTale · 13/06/2014 14:08

catsrus Doesn't say what it contains, though. I do need more than the word 'chemistry' on the box to be convinced that the kit is of equivalent educational value, rather than Moon Sand for 11-year-olds.

magicalriff · 13/06/2014 14:11

" Ah this shows I am prejudiced (former teacher here and my husband's a TA). But... we were in T K Maxx yesterday, upstairs, and suddenly from nowhere these 4 primary aged kids started running up and down and chasing eachother, shouting and screaming. It made the entire floor shake. No parent in sight - we were the only other people on that entire floor. Must admit, my husband and I turned to eachother and simultaneously both said "Home educated!" Sorry OP, because that is unfair but... yes... my first thought is "feral"."

Well you could certainly say the same about school children if you were prejudiced and narrow minded (which I'm not and wouldn't tar all with the same brush). My DC always asked why school children are badly behaved at the theatre. E.g. Wolf whistling at the appearance of the male dancers in ballets, shouting talking during the performance, getting out of their seats and ignoring teacher pleas to return etc etc. I explain that not all school children are like that and point out and remind about the well behaved groups we've met, which have outnumbered the bad.

Perhaps that says more about your teaching, that he lost some ground...

BiddyPop · 13/06/2014 14:16

I consider HE at times - but I work FT and mine is the permenant pensionable job.

DD, 8, is very bright on some things, and has some SNs so can have difficulties at school. But she is also learning academically and socially there too.

So while we don't exactly HE, we do still do plenty of enrichment type activities at home. I use baking and cooking to work on extra maths concepts. She does a lot of science things (measuring, mixtures, wave motion) in the bath. I talk French at home (mostly english, but french for fun and to keep my own level up) and sometimes talk Irish as well. We have always read stories at nighttime, and it has been chapter books and series for a long time now. If she has been refusing to do her school reading homework (it's too easy and I did that book already last year!!), I make her read a few sections from the children's encyclopaedia we have instead (it's a basic one - but to keep her reading!). Walks on the beach are regular ways to take her down from a meltdown - by distraction in the rockpools. I do lots of nature stuff when we are at the beach, woodland, up a mountain etc. We do some music at home, and bring her to various different types of concerts. We did finance, economics and interest rates the other day talking about the post that came that day. We do a lot of civics talking about politics and democracy. We talk about feelings and emotions, and try to work on social skills and understanding the needs of others. We look at the globe to see where DH is travelling, or the au pairs are from, or other people are, and talk about what life is like in that part of the world. When we are bandaging up another (!) cut knee, we talk about how the body works, the blood system, immune system, we've done hormones for other things....and that's all apart from HE worksheets that we give her to do in bed - as a way to make her brain concentrate on 1 thing and stop the rest of it working, so she can sleep. Writing or maths ones usually.

There are loads of ways to teach a child and loads of things that will help her in life, but not get in the way of what the teachers are doing at school. Strengthening their foundations or getting to things that they may not get to until years later, having a greater appreciation of things, having time to work out the concepts when fewer asking and distracting.

And we are lucky that both DH and I are well educated, and can do that with DD. We have access to books at home and in the local library. DD loves the computer and will look up things that interest her. There are nature groups we can do events with, and plenty of other events of all sorts we can take advantage of (some free, some paid). We have the money to buy the books, and pay for outings. But we also have the interest to engage DD in discussion and tickle her interest about things too, so that she can explore the very varied and interesting world we live in.

I really hope this doesn't come across as a stealth boast or anything, cos that's not what it is supposed to be.

TillyTellTale · 13/06/2014 14:22

What, that Joffery isn't skilled in teaching everything?

As I have said on these threads before, I can count 7 subjects that DH and I would be able to teach to a good GCSE level, if we had to. Like most people, we're not polymaths. Shock

BiddyPop · 13/06/2014 14:30

Oh and I dissected a sheeps brain, a cow's heart and a few pig's kidney's in my mother's kitchen. DD and I have done a few science things at home too - many of the chemicals are household things, and you can buy kits for other experiments.

DD keeps asking to do 1 particular science experiment regularly - to show the power of the sun. As it involves messing with shiny tinfoil, clingfilm unsticking and pointy cocktail sticks, and then eating a gooey marshmallow at the end of it.

Growing her own veggies in the back garden is also a huge hit.

magicalriff · 13/06/2014 14:42

Well just as I've already said, that it perhaps says something about her own teaching if her son lost ground in just a few weeks. That's just an example of how teaching at home didn't work for them, surely?

zzzzz · 13/06/2014 14:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

magicalriff · 13/06/2014 14:58

Somebody mentioned online schools? Just wanted to bring to attention, for those interested, that there is the possibility (if they're successful) of a state online school opening in September 2015. It's open to years 5-10 I think. They fund exams too.

www.weyecademy.com/

TillyTellTale · 13/06/2014 15:03

zzzzz Out the top of my head, present procedures covered on the GCSE syllabi, if you're not going to just teach theory, are electroplating (I did enjoy that) and I can guarantee there is no equipment for that in that kit, from the price alone.

The limestone cycle (needing calcium carbonate, limewater/carbon hydroxide solution and the equipment to experiment with them: pipes, bunsen burner to do the thermal decomposition), increasing reactivity of group 1 (I admit most of that has to done watching a video Grin, but it's nice to do some of it yourself!), distinguishing alkanes and alkenes (you can do that with vegetable oil, but you'll need to buy the bromine water somewhere).

The above is not an exhaustive list.

NickiFury · 13/06/2014 15:04

magical I am DEFINITELY interested in that. Thank you Smile

OP posts:
BiddyPop · 13/06/2014 15:28

TillyTellTale - they were on the curriculum when I was in school - we never had practicals on things like that, or even demos.

I have not seen exactly what the Royal Institute does but it certainly looks like it has interesting practical events for older DCs. I know there are science clubs locally here, and some of those do secondary DCs and curricula. Perhaps there may be options through local unis or colleges, especially if there is a group of relevant DCs. DD already does a science camp in summers hols in a Uni, they have groups for older children too. And there is always youtube or others for videos of such things - which is certainly a lot more than we got in our day. (And our school was considered progressive and practical for the amount of science we had and the fact that 1 chemistry teacher did a reasonable amount of demos - we did barely any practical experiments ourselves in chemistry, although plenty in physics and biology - and most chemistry ones I was able to replicate at home, or even try at home out of the book (carefully and talking to teacher about my ideas beforehand) without ever getting to them in school).

Talk nicely to any local factory etc with a lab, and see if they would consider, as part of their "engagement with the community" CSR activity, having a few demo evenings for local secondary students, and that including any HE students too. Or a local Uni might be delighted for almost finished undergrads, or postgrads, to get a bit of teaching practice in a similar way.

TillyTellTale · 13/06/2014 15:39

I did a Chemistry GCSE very recently as a mature student (as part of the programme of making up for missed knowledge) and practicals were done. I'll say that right now, it's easier than it's ever been to gain a GCSE in Chemistry on theory alone, as there isn't a practical component to the marking, whereas there was a practical exam less than ten years ago.

I will check with the current A-level Chem students I can find, when I have an opportunity, but I am pretty sure they will all have had lab practicals at secondary school.

I am quite aware that science lessons were pretty shit in schools, especially for girls, in years gone by but the issue shouldn't be home education vs the education the parents got, but home education vs the standard of education available in the local school.

TillyTellTale · 13/06/2014 16:00

Currently surveying via facebook. So far all respondents who took GCSE Chemistry had the opportunity to perform the experiments themselves.

Canus · 13/06/2014 16:03

Ooh, if anyone's interested in chemistry and science kits, we had something like this

www.sciencemuseumshop.co.uk/experiments/chemistry_sets/chem_c3000_chemistry_set.htm

to start us off at primary level, then bought an LPG Bunsen and a load of chemicals from online suppliers.

The ones who supply schools are often fantastic about supplying reagents in small quantities, and you can get some really cool stuff.

GSCE courses seem to involve very little actual practical work beyond the 'burning of magnesium ribbon' level, so if my child was taking exams this year I'd go down the IGCSE route as prep for A-Levels at college.

eBay is a gold mine for bits and pieces for physics and biology too.

There is no way of knowing which way the exam system is going though, so I think lots of HE families opt for FE or sixth form colleges for A -level science.

TillyTellTale · 13/06/2014 16:10

Oh, have just realised that the above has calcium hydroxide, instead of carbon hydroxide. Blush

In case you haven't realised, Chemistry isn't one of the subjects I'd be happy to teach a H.E. child!

TillyTellTale · 13/06/2014 16:14

I mean, has carbon hydroxide, instead of calcium hydroxide! FFS!

kim147 · 13/06/2014 16:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JoffreyBaratheon · 13/06/2014 16:25

magicalriff, my teaching was fine. I was the only person on my PGCE course of 100 people to get a distinction at teaching practice, if you must know. I was offered a big promotion in only my second year teaching. I did a Masters in Education at the top uni for that subject, then, in the US. etc etc. I got 100% (Grade Point Average 4) for every single course that made up my taught Masters. I was a bloody great teacher. As were 99% of my colleagues who weren't maybe as flashy as that. ;o)

And, given that, I still felt my son suffered from his brief time being 'home educated'. Now he is an adult, got a degree and has a great job that he loves. I did no lasting damage. But he would not have got the Science and Computing A Levels he needed to get into uni, had I been teacher forever.

People who home school may do it because they harbour a desire to teach. So go get qualified - and teach. But you can be the best Key Stage 2 teacher in the world and still not have a fecking clue when it comes to GCSE Maths, Science, or... whatever. That will seriously limit a child.

I won't even get started on the social aspects.

sanfairyanne · 13/06/2014 16:31

i always thought a good home 'educator' would be a facilitator rather than 'teacher'.

NickiFury · 13/06/2014 16:31

Well he probably would have got those A-levels, because he'd have done what most home educated kids do when they need to take it further for quals and that is gone to college.

We don't pull them out and say "right that's it! Sit here in the house learning from me till you're 18 and then off you go. They can and do go to college and achieve.

OP posts:
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