Not going

[Mustard01]

Last night oh told me we had been asked to dinner this weekend by his sister for his mums birthday.
I said no problem what day & time. He couldn't remember time and told me to have a look at the text on his phone.
It turns out I'm not invited only oh.
Oh really wants me to go and thinks ibu because I do want to go out with them as they clearly don't want me there.
What would you do?

What exactly does the text say?

What did the text say?

I wouldn't go. I'd feel uncomfortable thinking they didn't want me there.

I wouldn't go

What a bonus - an evening free

Did the text specifically say that OH is to go by himself or 'btw mustard isn't invited " ?

Does it specifically say you are not invited? I use to think that if I wasn't expressly mentioned then I wasn't invited but apparently when MIL invites DH thats me as well. Now unless I am NOT invited I just go and its never been a problem.

It said
Hi mr mustard
Myself & T are taking mum out for dinner do You fancy coming.
No mention of me.
OH agrees that it looks like I'm not invited.

Who is T? If it's her partner then I would assume you are invited too.

Normally it would say you & mustard

T is her partner

Why didnt he just send back "yeah me and Mustard would love to join you"and see what the respnse is.

Well if T is her partner then of course you are invited. Yep, he should just text back saying you will both see them there.

Why doesn't someone just ring her and ask?

If I invited my brother and sister-in-law to things, I usually sent a text to both of them (mainly because she's a bit of a touchy bugger), but sometimes I'd just say to him "Do you want to come for dinner?" meaning, the whole family. Was it like that, or did she specifically say not you?

I would get him to text back - do you want me to book the table for 5 (you,DH,sis,t,mum).

Christ, why do people not just talk to each other.

All this drama over the wording of text that's probably totally innocent.

Do you have a reason to be so paranoid OP?

"You" is surely being used in the plural sense there?

Jeez. I'd have assumed the "you" meant "you both". YABU!

You're being silly to think you're not invited!

I would take that as you are invited.

If I sent a messgae to my brother saying DP and I are doing X do you want to come, you in that context would include my SIL.

He is calling her today. I don't really care if I go or not myself and oh met abroad and only moved back to the uk 8 months ago we have only met his sis & mum a few times. I don't dislike them but they live a very different life to us and I find it very hard to make conversation with them.

I was married and have been in a partnership, I have always been included in a plural "you" and done vise versa.

I also don't understand why your DH hasn't just spoke to his sister and cleared this non issue up.

You are clearly making up excuses not to go.

Your story doesn't even add up- first you said a text would 'normally say you and mustard' but now you're saying you've only met them a few times so there is no 'normal'

Go - don't go - your call but don't try blaming them.

What Birds said.

X post, there are always neutral topics of conversation, it makes it easier if you are going out to eat for someone's Birthday, there is always lots going on.