Not going

[Mustard01]

Last night oh told me we had been asked to dinner this weekend by his sister for his mums birthday.
I said no problem what day & time. He couldn't remember time and told me to have a look at the text on his phone.
It turns out I'm not invited only oh.
Oh really wants me to go and thinks ibu because I do want to go out with them as they clearly don't want me there.
What would you do?

Mountain and molehill spring to mind

It wouldn't have even occurred to me that the invitation wasn't for both of you.

Bearbehind yes the few times I've met her I was always included in the text that's how they arrange meetings they never really call each other

So maybe she's now decided that 'you' means both of you- get a grip.

If you don't want to go don't. But don't use the wording or lack of, of the text as an excuse to "not be invited". I think that would be completely unfair and stirring up trouble that isn't there.

There is nothing to suggest from that text you aren't invited.

if my mum said are you coming for dinner on Saturday, she would mean all of us, the same if I said to my brother are you coming to xxx I would mean him & family. I think you are just reading it wrong

I reckon they meant you both, but even so, does it matter?

I sometimes prefer to see my brothers without DH, because I know we're going to have a lovely time regressing to our childhoods and doing masses of 'you remember when' chatter, and frankly it'd be boring for DH to listen to.

It is fairly normal. Same as how sometimes you want to go out with your friends and your DP, sometimes you just want to be with your friends.

Agree with all the above the plural of you is you. There is no way you can know for sure what she meant so you are projecting. Your DH initially thought you were both invited didn't he?

Go, it sounds like you need to get to know them better. Bring his mum some flowers and chocolates and thank his sister for the invite, tell how lovely it was to be included.

Maybe I am reading it wrong.
On one of the occasions we met up with sil &bil we met at a pub at her request myself & oh had a few drink (3 glasses of wine) she asked me if we go out alot.
I told not really only weds. & sat on some maybe friday aswell. We only have 2 or 3 drinks
the next day his mum rang us to say she was worried we might have a drinking problem.
When I saw sil last month I did ask her about it and said having a few drinks a week does not make for a drinking problem and left it at that.
Now I think I might have upset her. She has never drank.

Just reply back that you'd both love to go.

When my sister invited me and DP she just says 'would you like to come' equally when I inviter her and the family I just say 'you'!

Yes this is where countless other languages have it right and we have it wrong: a different word for you in the plural from you in the singular.

But it really does strike me that you are looking for reasons not to go!

I would read "you" as both of you. I would reserve using "you and partner" for a family where there children weren't invited.