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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To complain to M&S about their so called 'Humour' cards

109 replies

Mograt · 11/06/2014 10:26

I have a fairly robust disposition when it comes to humour (mother of two DCS, one 14 year old DS and a 12 year old DD.

However I had a sense of humour fail in my local M&S store last week when browsing the birthday cards.

Much of the humour was pathetic, stereo-typed and desperately unfunny but one card in particular I found completely unacceptable and sexist.

Hopefully I've managed to attach the shot I took of the card but if not it shows a man in old fashioned garb addressing his dog in 'gangsta rap' with the order:

"Fetch my slippers, bitch"

I've actually been motivated to write to M&S customer services and I'm awaiting their response.

So Ladies, I'm interested in all opinions so fire away! More than ready to hear that you all think I'm an old fart who needs to get with it!

To complain to M&S about their so called 'Humour' cards

OP posts:

KidLorneRoll · 07/04/2015 09:33

If you don't like it, then don't buy it.

Problem solved.

ssd · 07/04/2015 09:33

surely there is much more to complain about in M&S than a crappy card, I mean have you seen the per una range?

Bowlersarm · 07/04/2015 09:35

You've actually writen to M&S customer services?? I'm tempted to write a counterbalance of how much I like it.

I hate people taking offence at inoffensive things, and trying to get things banned so other people can't enjoy them

TSSDNCOP · 07/04/2015 09:39

I have a list of ishoos with M&S: the stupid uninspiring website, the length of the returns line, the crime against the Ruffle that is Proona and the ridiculous amount of packaging on their food. The card isn't funny IMO, but it doesn't light up my Giveashitometre like they do.

MagentaOeuflon · 07/04/2015 09:48

It's one of those things where it depends what you are supposed to find funny. I think the joke is that Richard doesn't understand what gangsta rap is really about and thinks by talking to an actual bitch he is being gangsta. "Fetch my slippers" is what he might say to his dog anyway. In a way that's quite sweet because it wouldn't enter Richard's head to use bitch as a term of abuse or to be abusive to women.

OR, we are supposed to find the abusiveness itself funny and see the dog as simply taking the place where a woman should be. I think that's less likely given M&S's demographic, but it could be taken that way. Also, some people are going to be upset by the use of "bitch" in itself.

I often find that M&S are a bit ill-advised and unexpectedly dodgy when it comes to things like books, toys, novelty stuff. As with their clothes, there's just a massive taste vacuum (cultural taste, as opposed to food taste!) at the heart of the organisation. MIL always shops there and often gets toys or books for the DC there for birthdays etc. They are often weirdly old-fashioned, un-PC and like nothing you would get in a normal toyshop.

Thetillo · 07/04/2015 09:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ClumsyNinja · 07/04/2015 09:57

Really crap card and didn't raise a titter here but if it had been Mackerel's Hoes, I would have bought it for my DH. (Off to make a card...)

NoPsipsinaChocolateOrange · 07/04/2015 09:57

The humour guy

sorry

MagentaOeuflon · 07/04/2015 10:04

I've had a look Thetillo... and I think hmmmmmmmm there is a rather unfortunate attitude to women in a lot of the "jokes".

The moth one made me laugh though

NoPsipsinaChocolateOrange · 07/04/2015 10:06

Yes I didn't like the rampant misogynism on your site either.

Staple diet anyone? Or the comedian ones? Bloody awful and unfunny.

Go and link to it on Pistonheads or something

Mrsjayy · 07/04/2015 10:10

Well i think you are right and is offensive to women and not that hilarious but i would not complain just wrap my nylon cardi round me and tsk loudly

alrayyan · 07/04/2015 10:16

As a woman who survived a very abusive relationship I do t find it funny either.
I am not saying it should be banned or outlawed or whatever,people are free to buy what they like and I have to deal with it.
BUT MN is a weird.place, everyone always jumps on these threads to take the piss out of the op yet that language is usually frowned upon whatever the context. And gangsta crap also uses some pretty vile other words as well, shall I satirise them as well?
How about asking a black lab to go and get my slippers?

alrayyan · 07/04/2015 10:18

Just to add I agree that per unable should be exterminated first...

Viviennemary · 07/04/2015 10:20

I think it's offensive and wouldn't buy it.

Christinayangstwistedsister · 07/04/2015 10:21

I only go into m n s for the foodhall, the rest of it is too painful on the eyes

Thetillo · 07/04/2015 10:23

The comedian jokes are almost all at the expense of men, not sure how that's misogynistic?

Tilly1234 · 07/04/2015 10:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SoupDragon · 07/04/2015 10:28

spaaaaaaaaaaaam!

MagentaOeuflon · 07/04/2015 10:50

The Gary Barlow one demonstrates the more "acceptable" end of an attitude to women that says that they are obsessed with food and dieting, attractiveness to men, their relationship to men. Women are seen mainly in their role as sexual partners to men, lesser than men and seeking their approval. The baseline here is that the woman wants loads of top quality sex with a man - there's no other possibility.

The "staple diet" is the other end of the scale where joking about women suffering and being silenced in their quest to suppress their bodies is quite overt. Even the ladybirds one reinforces the control women are supposed to exert over their bodies in a way men aren't.

I think the joke about men's sexual performance in a different context (e.g. from Jo Brand or Bridget Christie) could be part of a different dialogue. (Though these actual feminist comedians probably wouldn't bother with it anyway as it's not funny) Seen in the context of the other cards on the site, it's part of that sexist dialogue.

Now, I know you have to have a total sense of humour bypass to analyse it like I just did. So I just set mine aside, but wasn't too difficult as most of the jokes aren't very funny.

I'll stand by the moth one though. More cards like that and ditch the sexism, and you might have a customer.

Tilly1234 · 07/04/2015 10:55

Eeek sorry guys for the link. I can confirm however that thetillo is not a misogynist as I'm his wife and we have 2 lovely girls age 5 and 7 and he did design the original card that all the fuss is about.

SoupDragon · 07/04/2015 10:57

Spam and what is effectively sock puppeting all in one bundle :)

QueenBean · 07/04/2015 10:58

This thread has got really weird - it's 9 months old, resurrected by someone saying they designed it and now has had his apparent partner leaping on to assure us he isn't sexist?

Erm, baffled!

SoupDragon · 07/04/2015 10:59

It's not that baffling. It appears an online shop is being launched.

MagentaOeuflon · 07/04/2015 11:02

Ooh I didn't notice it was actually Thetillo who had revived it! Doh.

I can confirm however that thetillo is not a misogynist as I'm his wife and we have 2 lovely girls age 5 and 7

Sorry but that is the least convincing argument for someone not being misogynist that I have ever seen. Have you read any of the threads in relationships!?

MagentaOeuflon · 07/04/2015 11:04

(Obviously we don't know him as a person, and I don't mean to say that he absolutely is a misogynist. But his cards display plenty of the casual misogyny that's rife in our society.)

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