Man outside Mcdonalds asking for money!!!

[salsmum]

I went for a scan yesterday and it was confirmed I have very painful gall stones having had no cuppa for 6 hours and little food we stopped at Mcd for a drink n snack....a man was stood outside and approached my DP for money for some food..my DP said he only had a card and later when I asked my DP how much money he showed him in his hand my DP said he said he was 89p short for a meal EVEN THOUGH he clearly had 2 £1 coins in his hand...I myself know what it's like to struggle and at times we still do BUT Aldis was a spit away and even if he wanted a Mcds I'm sure he could have got a drink and small burger for just over £2/£2.50 do you think IABU to say that he should 'cut his cloth accordingly and settled for an alternative to his 'make it large meal?' I thought it was quite cheeky.

Thing is if you don't have the money then don't give it, but why come on here and slag the poor bugger off?

It's not like he was begging outside the ivy it's maccy d for fucks sake. Do aldi even have a cafe? Maybe he wanted something hot, and a sit down.

Fucking harsh.

scarlettsmummy Don't worry, I know you didn't mean any offence or suchlike! If anything I'm probably the one being over sensitive and defensive. Having thought about it a little more I have met a few people like you describe (those that think that because they've dragged themselves out of a hole, everyone should be able to do the same) I think I just wanted to make the point that not all of us think like that, and possibly did it with an air of prickly defensiveness, sorry!

I can see the sun You are right I do get carers allowance which doesn't even cover the extra gas and electric that a disabled person needs to keep warm and the extra that the bed,chair & lift needs electric wise...my DD gets DLA for clothes,extra toiletries and a rare trip out with her carer 5 hours a week because of her age I DO NOT get tax credits nor council tax/housing allowance (my DP works PT but on a low wage just above the extra help wage) please do NOT be under the illusion that full time carers at home have a life of plenty nothing could be further from the truth! and before anyone asks...I do not have carers come in to help me because the Borough are making cutbacks...As said midnitescribbler I do donate to charity, I have worked as a volunteer with children with disabilities and my previous job was working with the elderly giving over much of my own wages in order to purchase goods for activities AND working many more hours unpaid! I think that says quite enough about my ability to 'empathise' with others and show compassion to others less fortunate I have also helped people on the street but just thought that if he had money in his hand to cover food it was cheeky of him asking for more.While we'd like to think that EVERYONE asking for money on the street is in dire,desperate need and possibly homeless it's not always the case as proven recently with a London Beggar on T.V. who actually lived in an apartment in a very affluent part of London, making anything up to £600 a week...I'm sure many people giving him money with his dog wrapped in a blanket thought he was living on the streets...so how do you know?? who is genuine and who is not?

It's not like he was begging outside the ivy it's maccy d for fucks sake. Do aldi even have a cafe? Maybe he wanted something hot, and a sit down.

In all fairness, well said. When you've nowhere comfortable to rest and nothing to cook with, then being able to sit at a table for 10 mins and eat a hot meal, even if that hot meal is a soggy burger, is a massive luxury.

Your point makes no sense to me, so what there is a limit to how much money you can have before you beg and what that's about £2.50 and you have to go to aldi?

I don't think the OP was unreasonable not to give the man some extra money. He had enough for a meal. It's a bit cheeky of him to ask for extra but it's not exactly outrageous behaviour. I would have just said that I don't have any change and would have given it no more thought.

I don't know why you're so arsed, to tell you the truth.

But the thing with begging is that it isn't guaranteed money so you might have enough for a sandwich and drink at lunch but if you don't carry on begging, you won't have anything for the evening. Most people say no.

Being homeless must be utterly shit.

He was short for a meal in Maccy d, however the OP thought he should have spent the money in Aldi.

I think?

Spot on, HaroldLloyd.

You DO NOT know he wasn't homeless

You COULD NOT Tell he wasn't homeless

He may have been homeless REGARDLESS of your initial judgement on his appearance

Why do these posts always turn into a "who's had the hardest life" competition?

Goodness me your getting slagged off something terrible on this post, in wouldn't have given him money either and if he was starving McDonald's isn't the place to go seeing as your hungry 10 mins later.

All this spiel about your difficulties and your good deeds doesn't result in your posts being any less unpleasant.

Give or don't give. The choice is yours. The ranting seems pretty unnecessary to me.

He should have been having vegetarian sushi with pomegranate juice right, Kerry?

No one cares that the OP didn't give him money. But it's stupid getting sniffy about homeless people not making sensible choices - if they had, they probably wouldn't be homeless (I said probably, I know it sometimes happens through no fault of people's own.)

He maybe wanted something to eat, a seat and to use the toilet - which he couldn't do in Aldi. Poor guy.

I think it's in really poor taste to come on here and boast about how callous principled you thought you were being, not giving him money because he already had some. It says more about you than it does about him.

Don't know where you got that from haha, no just saying McDonald's not very filling wouldn't be my first choice

What would be your first choice Kerryp if you had no cooking facilities at all, and were limited to around £2/3 to feed yourself for the next 24 hours?

Maybe you could print off a menu so if you see someone like him again you could show them different combinations of what they actually could afford........

Sadly, having given this man, who pretended to be a beggar £1 for a cup of tea or some food many times whilst he was laying in the doorway outside McDonalds, i can see why people are skeptical. It's pretty annoying to suddenly read in the paper that you've been giving money to someone who is considerably better off than you.

It makes me really angry because I've been homeless and know how much harder scum like that make it for people who really need the help.

People are so daft about stuff like this. I don't mean you personally Kerry but even so!

Firstly, people who are homeless aren't walking around in a permanent state of starvation! There are other more pressing needs on the street: keeping warm, keeping dry. Keeping comfortable. McDonald's offers this.

Secondly, you know when sometimes you fancy a certain food just because? Homeless people do too. And you're limited in the types of food you can have - think about it, it isn't just not having a cooker or microwave but no plates, cultlery, bowls etc. Even when DH (then DP) and I lived in squalor we could have a bowl of cereal. So on the street, what "filling" foods are available? Not bloody many. Pies, pasties, sandwiches, burgers, chips, crisps, chocolate, fruit if you go to Aldi but that's not very filling either (I always feel hungrier after fruit, except bananas, but I digress.)

Thirdly, I'm not homeless, but I get lonely and isolated during the day. I like to sit in Starbucks or caffe Nero with dd and watch the world go by. Being homeless is isolating and lonely.

There are three excellent reasons why, if you're homeless, McDonald's is a GREAT choice. Cheap. Warm. Hot. Social. Even comparatively healthy!

Astounding arrogance and bile from some posters on this thread.

I hope you enjoyed your supper.

butterflies Aren't people allowed to share their personal anecdotes in relation to a specific topic on Mumsnet? Who is competing?

I've honestly had this overwhelming thought lately that PEOPLE are so fucking mean to each other. Unnecessarily. I'm seeing examples of it all the time and more and more frequently it seems. I don't get it, it feels like we're slipping back to the dark ages.

I very rarely give to beggars as I am a bit mean, but i was coming out of tesco's on Monday and a little old lady asked for some money towards her bus fare. I asked how much it was and she said £2, so I gave it to her.
I have no idea what she spent the money on (hopefully bus fare) but I felt nice for doing it.

Give. Don't give. Your choice.
Bus fare. Strong cheap cider. Her choice.

Do you know what. I have three children with disabilities. I have the crisis team coming in daily at the moment in an attempt to keep dh out of a mental health unit, not sure that's going to work after yesterday's meeting and last night's fallout. I have ds at uni and each and every night I have to guide him through eating, drinking and help him process his day. I have twins, one is a wheelchair user. I am up in the night with her every night as she suffers with brittle asthma, reflux and various other difficulties. The other twin has Asperger syndrome along with PDD, ODD, ADD and SPD. That means significant amount of time too. I don't mind, I love them all and we do have great fun. The point I am making is, that because of the way my life has gone, and yes, like many others I have the tee shirt etc. It's made me less judgemental, not more so. Perhaps you need to calm a little and really, judge a whole lot less.

Maybe he just wanted to sit down with food and feel like a normal human being for an hour rather than crouch in doorway and having people walk past making judgments on him.

If you're going to give, give. If you're not just get on with your life.

I help in a homeless hostel. It's not just the food and warmth that draws them. It's the chance to feel safe and relaxed and treated like a person for a while.