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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is wrong for an 8yr old to be asked to say in assembly?

202 replies

gingerbiscuitandacuppatea · 09/06/2014 21:16

DD (age 8 in yr 3) is doing a UNICEF assembly soon about child labour. They are reading out some examples of children's experiences, like carrying rocks up a hill, looking after cows etc.

my DD's lines include

"She used to slap me and shout at me. One day she poured petrol over me and set it alight. I rushed to the sink and splashed water over myself so luckily I wasn't too badly burned. They gave me cream for my burns and locked me in my room."

Would you be happy about your 8 year old being given those lines? I'm not happy that she now knows about people doing something so horrible, surely children this age do not need exposing to this at school?

OP posts:
Original poster
gingerbiscuitandacuppatea · 09/06/2014 22:14

DD doesn't seem very upset about it, perhaps I am putting more of my own feelings on this than hers. She did say that she knew I wouldn't like it!

I shall have another talk about it to her in the morning. I won't make a fuss if it will embarrass her.

But even if she is able to distance herself and not be too upset, I still don't think its appropriate, and what about the other 8 year olds in the assembly?

OP posts:
FinDeSemaine · 09/06/2014 22:16

If your DD doesn't mind, I wouldn't make a big thing about it. It might upset her more, IYSWIM. I agree that other 8 year olds might not be able to cope so well. My DD is a matter of a week and a half off being in Y3 and would be seriously distressed. Maybe you could talk to the teacher and say that you think the subject matter is presented in a rather graphic way and you are concerned and see what s/he says?

Some kids in her year are still presumably only seven.

Original poster
gingerbiscuitandacuppatea · 09/06/2014 22:18

LastTango - my 11yr old DS has started taking more interest in the news, but my DD isn't really that interested and is more likely to be playing with her toys than watching/listening when it is on.

OP posts:
Viewofthehills · 09/06/2014 22:20

Perhaps the school should be warning all the parents about what the children will be discussing in this assembly so they have the opportunity to withdraw their child or can be prepared to answer questions.

Waltonswatcher1 · 09/06/2014 22:23

My ds11 would have said it no problem ; and then I'd have spent the next month unravelling the mess !
It's not ok .

Bluebelljumpsoverthemoon · 09/06/2014 22:32

It happens to little children, much of the chocolate sold here is produced by child slavery, the only hope enslaved children have is this generation being educated and hopefully touched enough by it to make ethical choices which don't contribute to the problem and hopefully create a cultural concern amongst the young which will change policies to deal with this in the future. Let's face it, most 'adults' are too lazy and selfish to ever give a damn.

Your kids not going to be traumatised by learning the brutal realities many children are forced to endure. If anything it will make them realise how lucky they are, make them grateful for what they have and hopefully encourage empathy with those less fortunate.

HavanaSlife · 09/06/2014 22:34

The petrol bit is too much imo

wonderingifi · 09/06/2014 22:55

based on her response I would let her get on with it. She seems to be more concerned about your response than the sentence itself

Catsize · 09/06/2014 23:23

I would not like it, but at a similar age I came across a child without half her fingers. My mother explained that her mother had done to her what is described in the OP and that was why she was now in the UK. It did affect me, but not as much as it affected the girl concerned.

TheEnchantedForest · 09/06/2014 23:27

doesn't this thread just highlight how amazingly lucky we are, that we are fortunate enough to be in a position where we don't like the thought of our children being upset by such words where in other parts of the world, mothers have to face the realities of this ( or similar, or worse) actually happening to their children.

I agree with a poster above; I was a child who was well informed about the world we are living in from a young age and grew up with a real social conscience (instilled in me by my parents) and am now very active in Amnesty. I also believe there is a link.

You obviously have a very caring daughter who has volunteered to support UNICEF at a young age. Ihope I raise my children so well :)

TheEnchantedForest · 09/06/2014 23:28

Bluebell said it better-hadn't read that when I posted!

LynetteScavo · 09/06/2014 23:36

Bloody hell, I found that upsetting!

No, I wouldn't want my DD to read that out, or have it read to her. But then, I suppose an 8yo would have less understanding than me of what it actually means, so wouldn't be quite so upset.

It's important to educate children about what happens in the world, and that not everybody lives a nice life like them, but it needs to be age appropriate, which personally, I don't think this is.

Ludoole · 09/06/2014 23:40

Enchanted forest and Bluebell I complete agree with you both.
We are lucky to be able to explain to our children without it being their reality. Kids all over this world are not so lucky. Im sure they would rather hear and talk about it than live with the after effects.

Flowerfae · 09/06/2014 23:41

No, I wouldn't be happy with it. If it was a high school project ok, but I think 8 is too young really

BackOnlyBriefly · 09/06/2014 23:44

8 is a bit young. Can't they be children for just a while? I guess this is about the headteacher scoring personal points for social awareness or some such bullshit.

To all those arguing that it could actually be happening to them I presume you are ok with next weeks little project where they read out how they were raped by their priest? You'd be ok with them spelling that out in detail would you?

Really the argument that they should experience - even just in words - every vile act ever committed is about exploiting them here and now. Adults using them for their own agenda. Certainly they will learn there are nasty people in the world, but they need not go to other countries to find them.

BrianTheMole · 09/06/2014 23:44

I don't think I would have a problem with it, after all it is reality. It depends on the child and how they feel about it.

brdgrl · 09/06/2014 23:46

YANBU. I would not be ok with that and would be talking to the school.

It's important to educate children about what happens in the world, and that not everybody lives a nice life like them, but it needs to be age appropriate, which personally, I don't think this is.
^^This.
Actually, I think that giving children information/images which are not age-appropriate can backfire and cause them to be desensitized. There are better ways of instilling a social conscience in young children!

Aeroflotgirl · 10/06/2014 00:03

Well somewhere out there this us happening to a child of similar age.

rinabean · 10/06/2014 00:14

Of course children shouldn't be exposed to violence at all, but this attitude fosters a climate where children who are suffering violence know they are wrong somehow. Children are innocent, violence isn't for children, it's not age-appropriate - so kids being beaten by their parents feel that they are wrong, inappropriate. This is real life and it can't be brushed under the carpet. That saves the feelings of adults about the myth of childhood innocence, it does nothing for children. If your daughter herself is too upset by the material to participate that's fine. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with the assembly.

Hakluyt · 10/06/2014 00:18

Perish the thought that children might have to deal with reality............

brdgrl · 10/06/2014 00:25

Perhaps we should beat our own children in order to teach them that it happens to some children? It might help them to feel empathy and develop a social conscience. Hmm
Exposing children to detailed accounts of abuse is bordering on abuse in itself. In fact, it is a technique used by abusers. Doing it in the context of an educational assembly doesn't make it ok, IMHO.

bragmatic · 10/06/2014 00:47

My child would be ok with it, but I still think it's a bit gratuitous and I'd rather she didn't read it our loud at assembly. I don't think it's age appropriate for ALL 8 year olds.

For the record, I'm quite sure that they would rather learn about such atrocities than have petrol poured on them and set alight. Just in case anyone was wondering.

shockinglybadteacher · 10/06/2014 00:56

That's not a good way to put out a petrol fire! That would probably worry me more than her reading it out, if she herself is OK with it.

LettertoHerms · 10/06/2014 00:58

I would not be happy about this. It is not age appropriate.

Watching footage of the twin towers had me hiding under the bed when a plane flew overheard for years, and I was older than eight, and I'm still anxious and unable to face crowds. Exposing a child to violence does not educate them, it will either desensitize them or upset them, and that can have lasting effects.

And as pp mentioned - water on burning petrol is a bad idea, so I'm uncomfortable with a child memorizing that over proper first aid as well.

Alisvolatpropiis · 10/06/2014 00:59

All your previous darlings will have to live in the real world one day.

One child's "too much for them to even consider" is a other child's day to day life.