Hook-gate - is this downright odd behaviour from DH?

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DH is a rigid black and whitetype of guy.

Apologies - I know the following is trivial but it really pissed me off.

Yesterday he brushed passed some coats that were on the vertical bannister pole thingy at the bottom of the stairs (I think it's called a newel post) and knocked off my coat accidently onto the floor. He carried on walking past and didn't pick it up. When I asked him to pick it up he said no, that he had provided more hooks in the porch 2 years ago for coats so if I choose to put it on the newel post and it got accidentally knocked off (by him) then no he wasn't going to pick it up.

He said he saw it as a contract - he'd provided more hooks 2 years ago, and if I chose not to put the coat in the correct place then if it got knocked off then it was tough. He then admitted that he'd been taking this type of approach for years about all sorts of things. I never knew and have been wondering why I often end up picking up things unexpectedly off the floor (I assumed kids had knocked them off and then lied that it wasn't them!!).

He also said that he adopted this approach out of respect for me (!?!!). Because if he was to pick the coat up then he would feel that he was treating me like a kid, and so our relationship would be unequal.

Everything he does is linked to an underlying principle, so this behaviour is not borne out of laziness (he is not at all lazy - the opposite) - he will have thought it through!

I can not for the life of me understand this odd approach. It seems a bit passive aggressive / aspergery to me. I guess it does have some strange logic to it, but it's not really in the spirit of marital team work!

AIBU?

I'm pretty sure one party being unaware of the existence of a contract doesn't bode well for the validity of that contract.

He obviously considered it an unspoken "gentlemen's agreement" type contract!

He sounds like he is on the Autistic spectrum- possibly high functioning Aspergers.

What arty says^^ seriously. The complete guide to aspergers by Tony Atwood is helpful.
My dh is certainly on the spectrum, lots of interior logic and principals and then some quite wow behaviour. All very well meaning in general I must say.

It seems there are a lot of undiagnosed men with Asperger's Syndrome out there, masquerading as something else entirely.

Í think there probably are AF, women too. Seems dificult To get a diagnosis now, it must have been much less líkely 30/40/50 years ago.

I hate the trying to diagnose someone with Aspergers simply because he talked in a really strange way.

He could have just been acting like an idiot in this situation. Not everything is a sign of some kind of disability.

Indeed. More often than it turns out to be Asperger's (or some other diagnosable condition that has been completely overlooked by everyone for decades), it is actually simply being an absolute cock

AnyFucker

DH once tried to claim he had aspergers whilst mid-discussion over dividing the housework. I advised him to go see the GP for his severe case of twatitus. Thankfully he's got a rarely occurring condition.

arf

I might tell DW I have periodic twatitus. Always handy to have a good excuse.