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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to turn a blind eye to this?

71 replies

wigglylines · 08/06/2014 22:19

Neighbours don't put suntan lotion on their DCs.

Their 5yo DD was round today and I was putting lotion on my DCs. She asked if she could have some. I said to go ask her mummy if it was OK for her to have some. She didn't go.

About 5 minutes later I saw her taking the bottle and putting it on herself. I pretended I hadn't seen, because tbh I worry about her not having it on.

I'm not sure exactly why they don't suntan lotion their DCs, but I expect it ties in with their anti-vacc and no-medicine stance.

But, is there any specific reason (other than distrust of everything "medical") you wouldn't put lotion on your DCs? Are some people intolerant / allergic to it? I will bring it up when I next see them, but in the meantime I just wondered if I was rash to assume it was OK for the girl to have lotion?

But ... surely the DCs are going to burn this summer?

btw I don't plan to make a habit of giving her lotion when she's at mine as then the mum might think her lack of sunburn proves it's OK to go without! But today I felt, if she was actually doing it herself, I wasn't going to be the one to stop her.

WIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
wigglylines · 08/06/2014 22:21

Thinking aloud, I'm veggie and if the neighbours turned a blind eye to my DCs helping themselves to meat because they disapproved of my choices I'd certainly not be happy!

Is it like that?

Or because the DCs are in danger of getting burnt, is it different? I'm really not sure myself ...

OP posts:
KayVerinder · 08/06/2014 22:24

YANBU

I let my friend's DD lather herself in Soltan the other week, without even thinking as she is 6, only for her to tell me her DD is allergic to Soltan!

However she said she would rather a few itches and some piriton than sunburn so I think this may extend to your situation.

She did mention something about aluminium though Grin

thebodylovesspring · 08/06/2014 22:24

I think I would have stopped her incase she was allergic or something.

Personally if she was in my care I would ask the parents about food/drink/lotions etc.

Idontseeanyicegiants · 08/06/2014 22:24

YANBU But I would have had a concern about sensitive skin and a potential allergic reaction.

MidniteScribbler · 08/06/2014 22:28

You don't know if she may have had a reaction to the cream. I would have sent her home and said tell your mother that you can't play outside at our house without sunscreen on. Balls in her court then.

Ronmione · 08/06/2014 22:33

I used to nanny for a mum who was a mutritionist, unless it was boiling hot she didn't want me to put suncream on her dd until midday, because she felt that the sun and the vitamins were vital for health and wellbeing

julietbat · 08/06/2014 22:35

I don't put lotion on my kids the second they go out in the sun.

There has been advice coming out in the last couple of years that is suggesting we rely far too heavily on sunblocks and we aren't allowing our kids' skin to soak up vitamin D from the sun. My kids don't have particularly fair skin (in fact my son is positively swarthy Grin) so I do make it a point of letting them run around for 20/30 mins before I get the lotion out. Could that be what happened in this situation? She hadn't put it on but would have done later?

PersonOfInterest · 08/06/2014 22:35

Did you ring/text the Mother and ask if she wanted sun cream on?

Do you know for definite that they don't put sun cream on their kids ever?

Of course she could be allergic.

julietbat · 08/06/2014 22:37

I'm the same, Ronmione. It's been nice and warm the last couple of days but not boiling so I haven't even thought about sunscreen.

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 08/06/2014 22:37

I don't always lotion my kids. Depends on clothes, play, time of day, lots of stuff. But both know it happens and mummy will do it. I just don't shit a brick when I see a bit of sun.

I get your veggie, but if your child was curious about something and tried it would you really be unhappy?!? To me that's quite odd.

PersonOfInterest · 08/06/2014 22:37

But yes, YABU and rash to cover someone elses child in suncream without checking it was ok.

Fav · 08/06/2014 22:38

Maybe the child already had an all day sun cream on? P20 or something like that.

ILoveCoreyHaim · 08/06/2014 22:39

YABU I am allergic to dimithicone which is in most sun creams, had you bout suncream on me I would have a very bad reaction

PersonOfInterest · 08/06/2014 22:39

This!^^

I just don't shit a brick when I see a bit of sun

Likewise, depending on clothing/time of day mine play for a couple of hours without suncream. They've never been burnt or even pink.

Susyb30 · 08/06/2014 22:41

I don't think I'd turn a blind eye, I would however say to the mum what happened..I would also have been worried about skin/allergic reaction. I would definitely say something like "im so sorry I just wanted you to know just in case there was any problems with the particular brand I use! Maybe you already applied it, after all they definitely need protection at this age"
Sorry but if its not for a medical reason then the woman
Clearly needs educating!

Letitsnow9 · 08/06/2014 22:51

There's been quite a bit of evidence of late saying that the stuff in suntan lotion is really bad for you. Some decide to cover up instead

Original poster
wigglylines · 08/06/2014 23:01

"Do you know for definite that they don't put sun cream on their kids ever?"

She told me they don't use it. Nor aftersun, I got the feeling this was because they are not into medicines.

"There's been quite a bit of evidence of late saying that the stuff in suntan lotion is really bad for you. Some decide to cover up instead" Nope it's not that - DCs out in shorts and vest tops. No hats.

OP posts:
Original poster
wigglylines · 08/06/2014 23:09

"im so sorry I just wanted you to know just in case there was any problems with the particular brand I use! Maybe you already applied it, after all they definitely need protection at this age"

I can't say that, she already clearly told me they don't use it.

OP posts:
bellybuttonfairy · 08/06/2014 23:17

Unless its absolutely boiling I dont put any suntan lotion on the children and then I make sure they have some sun at the early part/evening sun. Two of them are redheads and the other in a blue eyed blonde and none have never been sunburned.

Im very cautious of the vit d deficiency in our country. We can only absorb 10% from our diets so the rest of it has to come from the sun.

Original poster
wigglylines · 08/06/2014 23:18

Sorry Susyb30 I hit send to soon! I was going to say ...

But I think this is sound advice

"I don't think I'd turn a blind eye, I would however say to the mum what happened..I would also have been worried about skin/allergic reaction"

I will just talk to them when I get a chance. They seem really nice (strange ideas about medicines aside!)

OP posts:
Original poster
wigglylines · 08/06/2014 23:19

It was really hot here today and it was not far off midday.

OP posts:
bellybuttonfairy · 08/06/2014 23:20

She told me they don't use it. Nor aftersun, I got the feeling this was because they are not into medicines

Isnt aftersun just a consumer gimmick?

Nocomet · 08/06/2014 23:20

I'd turn a blind eye to the DD from next door as her family are broke and disorganised.

ILoveCoreyHaim · 08/06/2014 23:23

But you didn't say all this in your op. It sounds like you hadn't discussed why they don't use suncream? Do you know or did you know before you let the child apply it they are not allergic. I am very careful about what I put on my DCS and would be pissed off if someone let them cover themselves in suncream. You choose to use it on your child and that's fine that's your business.

I'm not sure exactly why they don't suntan lotion their DCs, but I expect it ties in with their anti-vacc and no-medicine stance.But, is there any specific reason (other than distrust of everything "medical") you wouldn't put lotion on your DCs? Are some people intolerant / allergic to it? I will bring it up when I next see them, but in the meantime I just wondered if I was rash to assume

AllsFair · 08/06/2014 23:43

She may be vitamin D deficient. We have some children in school so low in VitD that they are not allowed to run around, as they are likely to break a bone if they fall.

These children are on maximum supplements, but also on high VitD diets, and banned from using sun cream

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