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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to turn a blind eye to this?

71 replies

wigglylines · 08/06/2014 22:19

Neighbours don't put suntan lotion on their DCs.

Their 5yo DD was round today and I was putting lotion on my DCs. She asked if she could have some. I said to go ask her mummy if it was OK for her to have some. She didn't go.

About 5 minutes later I saw her taking the bottle and putting it on herself. I pretended I hadn't seen, because tbh I worry about her not having it on.

I'm not sure exactly why they don't suntan lotion their DCs, but I expect it ties in with their anti-vacc and no-medicine stance.

But, is there any specific reason (other than distrust of everything "medical") you wouldn't put lotion on your DCs? Are some people intolerant / allergic to it? I will bring it up when I next see them, but in the meantime I just wondered if I was rash to assume it was OK for the girl to have lotion?

But ... surely the DCs are going to burn this summer?

btw I don't plan to make a habit of giving her lotion when she's at mine as then the mum might think her lack of sunburn proves it's OK to go without! But today I felt, if she was actually doing it herself, I wasn't going to be the one to stop her.

WIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
wigglylines · 08/06/2014 23:49

"But you didn't say all this in your op." I don't understand, what don't I say in my OP?

I don't know they're not allergic. tbh it didn't occur to me till afterwards, I assumed that they didn't because of their no-medicines stance. It's only now I've been wondering if maybe they do have an allergy.

"It sounds like you hadn't discussed why they don't use suncream?" We haven't directly. My best guess is it's because of their distrust of medicines as that's the impression I got, but I realise I don't actually know for sure, that's why I asked here. I'll ask them when I get a chance.

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Original poster
wigglylines · 08/06/2014 23:51

"She may be vitamin D deficient."

I doubt it tbh. We have a family member who is Vitamin D deficient, and I'm fairly sure I've mentioned it, and they didn't say anything about their DC having the same thing.

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Original poster
wigglylines · 08/06/2014 23:53

^^ If it wasn't for that, that would have been a good guess though I reckon. Loads of people have Vitamin D deficiency, don't they?

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coalscuttle · 08/06/2014 23:54

Ds and I never use suncream because we both have hideous reactions to it. It is vile stuff. After sun is a consumer gimmick. DS has NEVER had sunburn. If you questioned my stance on suncream I would robustly tell you to fuck off and mind your own business.

Igggi · 08/06/2014 23:57

You don't have to know that you are vit d deficient to know that it's a good idea to get some sun to avoid it happening. Low levels of vit D being connected (not proven I don't think) to higher levels of MS in colder countries.
After sun is just moisturiser surely?

AllsFair · 08/06/2014 23:58

There are different magnitudes of vit D deficiency though, ranging from a bit low, to horrendously, dangerously depleted.

Original poster
wigglylines · 08/06/2014 23:58

coalscuttle I hope you don't mind me asking, but whereabouts do you live and what do you do in the sun then? (e.g. do you cover up?)

Both DD and DS caught the sun today despite having sunblock on (it got washed of when they were playing with water).

If I wear no sunblock I burn.

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Original poster
wigglylines · 09/06/2014 00:00

Sorry I should clarify about aftersun. I have never used anything actually called "aftersun" I agree it's probably a gimmick.

I was talking about what to put on skin which is actually burnt and hurts, to relieve it. (I was expecting an answer along the lines of aloe or something, I was surprised to hear "nothing")

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Original poster
wigglylines · 09/06/2014 00:01

"You don't have to know that you are vit d deficient to know that it's a good idea to get some sun to avoid it happening"

Agreed. But no lotion ever? Is this a thing? Do lots of people do this with their kids?

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AllsFair · 09/06/2014 00:04

I know some doctors are advising the black children, Asian children or any covered muslims shouldn't be using sun cream level with Birmingham, or further North? Depends where you are, and the children.

peggyundercrackers · 09/06/2014 00:05

Neither of us put suntan lotion on, it's never really hot enough 95% of the time here in north East Scotland. When we go on holiday we sometimes use it but not very often, I probably use it least out of us all. We never put on aftersun either, in fact we don't own any - never have.

Igggi · 09/06/2014 00:06

My two year old has needed sun cream (IMO) for the week we spent camping last July, haven't used it apart from that. He has not reddened/burnt in this time. Not much sun up here though.

Original poster
wigglylines · 09/06/2014 00:06

South of England, blond DCs.
It was hot today!

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coalscuttle · 09/06/2014 00:06

I live in the south and limit the amount of time we spend in full sun. It's really quite easy. Even Confusedf you are out and about which we often are with dogs etc there is always plenty of shade. We are off to a Africa later in the summer and I have bought a factor 20 mineral block. Im sure this will be fine with loose long sleeves etc and a hat during the middle if the day.
This dependence on chemical cocktails drives me nuts. It has also fostered the belief that the sun is bad for you, which couldn't be further from the truth. The only thing that is bad for you is parents allowing you to burn. It's really not rocket science.

Igggi · 09/06/2014 00:07

When they told you they didn't use it, why didn't you ask why? (Or do it now, and report back!)

coalscuttle · 09/06/2014 00:09

Perhaps I should also add that I don't sunbathe. Obv if you are going to purposefully lie uncovered in the sun for some length of time then you will burn!

ILoveCoreyHaim · 09/06/2014 00:11

Yes lots of people don't use suncream or make sure their kids don't get burnt or they buy very expensive creams due to allergies.

I can't ever remember my DM putting suncream on me as a child.

You say she had non on but how do you know she hasn't got any on? Maybe she had the long lasting one on or natural suncream. If you had been giving your DC calpol and she asked for some, you said no and she grabbed it and started drinking it would you stop her or tell her DM.

People have had very bad reactions to the rubbish in suncream and you have no idea if she has an allergy or not. You should have told her DM or taken the bottle off her. I do use suncream on DDS but cream of my choice not laced with chemicals.

bellybuttonfairy · 09/06/2014 00:12

I know it was warm today but I wouldnt think it was sun tan lotion hot. I would have thought it a bit ott to put on today and would have been irritated by someone else putting lotion all over my children.

My girls love lotions/make up and would happily slather themselves with anything with a bit of perfume. Their daughter just probably just wanted to play with putting the lotion.

There was a government initiative recently in wales (I think its stopped now due to cut backs in funding) where all children under the age of 5 were given free vit d drops due to widespread deficiency.

It is important that our children do have adequate amounts of sunshine on their skin and not being overcautious that they will burn if the temperature goes above freezing.

WonderingAllowed · 09/06/2014 00:12

I never put sun lotion on my DCs unless we are at the beach/outside pool abroad and in strong sunshine all day. At home, they come in after an hour or so (less at the start of summer to build up) or cover up/sit in the shade. I also actively encourage them to take tops/bottoms off to get the sun for the vit D. They don't burn but then DH is mediterranean and they are dark like him.

We NEED sun on our skin in moderation!

Nursery insist on putting it on DC4 which is fine as it's their rules and I supplied them with a bottle as they are outside a lot and I am not there to police it.

coalscuttle · 09/06/2014 00:16

Yes i would be livid if you put sun cream on DS, the mess it would make of his skin would probably mean using steroid creams to get it back to normal. Something i also try and avoid if possible. Really, unless your neighbours child is burnt it is none of your business. If she was ill would you give her medicine without asking her parents?!

TheMuppetsIsWhereIShouldBe · 09/06/2014 00:16

I have a blonde haired blue eyes DS he wouldn't keep a hat on so I put one lot of sun cream on him (the bottle was from last year) it wasn't that boiling hot today (SE england) my DS has never burned and he goes to The Caribbean once a year and Another hot destination at the end of the year he has suntan lotion on 3 times a day and has never been burned.

I've never worn suntan lotion because my grandparents never put suntan lotion on my mum so she never wore suntan lotion

There choice just tell them what she did and don't be surprised if there pissed

BiscuitMillionaire · 09/06/2014 00:16

Can I just point out that how 'hot' the weather is is not relevant, as sunburn is caused by UV light, not heat. You can get sunburn skiing in 2 degrees. UV is high at the moment as we're near the middle of summer when the sun is directly overhead.

xihha · 09/06/2014 00:20

DD is allergic to suncream so I'd actually be really angry if you turned a blind eye as shed then get a nasty rash and I'd worry about where it had come from, but DD also knows that she is allergic so wouldn't try to put any on anyway.

Original poster
wigglylines · 09/06/2014 00:21

"When they told you they didn't use it, why didn't you ask why?"

Because I like them, they'd already mentioned the anti-vacc thing and I was a bit wary of getting into an argument.

I'm aware I can get a bit carried away when arguing the toss about things I feel strongly about (like how it's not generally a great ideas to avoid vaccines for example) and I'm learning to rein it in a bit!

I'd rather keep it friendly with the neighbours. That's not to say I won't bring it up with them, but I'd like to do it sensitively, at an appropriate moment, not just react to what they say when they say it IYSWIM?

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Original poster
wigglylines · 09/06/2014 00:24

"I know it was warm today but I wouldnt think it was sun tan lotion hot."

No idea where you are, but in our garden, it was suntan hot. DD managed to sunburn on her leg despite me applying factor 50 twice.

The DCs (including neighbour's DD) were out in the garden for hours.

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