To still miss my dad incredibly after 11 years.

[Filimou]

Tomorrow will be the 11th anniversary of my dad's death. I miss him so much. He was always so kind and sweet and really funny. Everyone loved him.
He died before Id met dh so he'd never met him, missed my wedding and my little boy will never know what an amazing man his grandad was.
I always try and think of all the things I did get, all the times we had rather than what we didn't. But its so hard.Losing him was the hardest experience of my life, and the way we lost him too.
I miss him so much.
I have a great relationship with my mum but sometimes I just want 5 minutes on the phone to my dad.

Filimou No need to feel silly for posting. I find I want to talk about my parents quite often, but other people mostly don't initiate conversation about them, so I try to shoehorn them into conversation as and when I can- even with friends who never met them. I'm lucky though to have a brother who also like to talk about them with me, and my OH knew them for 15 years so he talks about them too.

Daisymaisie I read that too, and so I do also yearn to see/hear their names. Obviously they are 'mum and dad' to me, but their friends and family members use their names and I like to hear that.

A couple of years ago, my parents came to a local annual fete with us and my mum had a go on one of those 'guess the name of the dog' games. Last week, my friend went to the same fete and had a go on the same game. Because the organisers have been using the same piece of paper for the last few years (obviously not a hugely popular game!), she saw my mum's name higher up the list from 2 years ago. She texted me to tell me, and it was strange but lovely to see my mum's full name written down- like an acknowledgement of her. That she was real and alive. Because as time goes on, they seem less real to me, so anything that brings them into the present with me is special and meaningful. I was so glad my friend texted me to tell me- she didn't ever meet my mum but had obviously listened to me because she knew it was my mum's name. I was so touched by that.

Anyway, sorry for the waffly story but yeah, names are really important for me.

Sorry for your loss OP. Not the same I know but I lost my maternal grandad who I was really close to, only a few months before I met DH. Makes me really sad he never knew him, won't know our children (am pregnant with DC1 now) and doesn't know about this whole time in my life.

I try to think of the positives- that I had him til I was 25, that he died suddenly and therefore didn't suffer- but I know it's hard. I miss him all the time.

It really is hard. My dad died four years ago and while shopping in town today I caught myself thinking about what to get him for fathers' day. Feel stupid and upset at the same time.

I feel for you and know exactly how you feel. I lost my Dad one year ago and my Mum 5 years ago - both were sudden and unexpected deaths. Some times I feel like I still haven't got over the shock of it and try to remember the many happy memories but like many of you here, still get waves of overwhelming sadness.
I'm so grateful they both got to know my children but feel really sad they won't see them grow up.
Agree that you never really get over it but in my view, time does soften the blow.
My overriding thought when my Dad went was of feeling "rudderless".
Hope tomorrow isn't too dreadful for you

YANBU. My father died just over two months ago. It was very sudden and I was completely unprepared. I'm still at the stage of thinking, "Oh, I must tell Dad about that" when I hear/read/experience something that he would be interested in.

to you Filimou and everyone else who has suffered this great loss.

I lost my dad in 2004 when I was 14, there hasn't been a day gone by when I haven't thought about him and missed him. He missed mine and my sisters weddings and all of his DGC, my GCSEs, a levels and my graduation from university.
Time is a great healer but it doesn't replace the people we love, it just makes it hurt less. Sorry to everyone who has experienced this, it's rubbish.

I lost my dad aged 54, 15 years ago this week. Never saw me married or met any of his grandchildren. So unfair.
Still miss him terribly.

Oh, so much sadness here for our loved lost parents :(

Oberon I have been eyeing a FD card in my local shop for the last few weeks- the picture on it is totally appropriate for my dad. So at the weekend, I bought it. No idea what I'll do with it, but I'm glad I got it. I think the thought that I 'couldn't' buy my dad a card was making me feel even worse than I already did, iyswim.