To have no time for sick people

[WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid]

That's it really. I'm crap will sick people - it's one of my worst flaws.

I try and be a better person but it's just not in me. Thankfully I'm ok with the kids when they get sick but dh just pisses me off.

Him - "My back hurts"
Me - "well have you done the exercises the physio gave you?" (No he hasn't)

Him - "I'm really sick" he's got the same cold I have and yes it is vile but I've been carrying on as normal whereas he has basically been out of action for 4 days.

Basically I can cope with a sick dh for about 2 days then I lose patience. I'm the same with other family, I say I'm avoiding them because I don't want their germs but in truth I'm avoiding them.

wafflyversatile - great name and great post.

Everybody else - I'm on the other side of this. DH is really unsympathetic, and judges me not very subtly if I lie on the sofa or take a day off work.

You're either one type or the other. Am I a whining bitch who won't help herself? Maybe a little bit. Is he a judgemental unsympathetic bastard who gets offended if I don't follow his advice? Yes, maybe he is.

Waves at gurlwithacurl hello mumsnet twin

Sorry you disagree tangerine I'm surprised by just how many get annoyed too. I think everyone on the thread is right, it's not the being ill that's the issue. The problem is people failing to look after themselves or being a drama queen king about it.
e.g. You both get the same cold but he turns into a useless whingey lump while you have to get on with it.

I think those of you complaining about people with coughs and colds who do not "help themselves" are being unreasonable. Don't you know there is pretty much NOTHING you can do to make your cough or cold resolve faster?

Sure, if you have a sore throat or aching joints, take a couple of paracetamol, why not, it might help a bit, but it's not going to kill the virus. Cough medicines are basically just a placebo.

I agree, some of the stuff you're advised to do is just bullshit, doing something for the sake of it, when actually only time and rest will help and it's the resting that DH judges me about.

I'm not saying taking paracetamol or any other medication will cure the cold. But it will make you feel better, maybe not 100% but better.

But refusing to take medication and choosing to sit and whine about feeling ill is annoying.

mrsb resting is ok if it's done quietly if you and your dh have the same cold and you rest whereas he looks after the kids and generally keeps things ticking over I can see why he would get annoyed.

mrsbab I have the same problem. DH is the type that generally refuses to consider taking time off work for any illness whatsoever. He happily goes in with coughs and colds, and just dismisses the idea that by doing so he is a) likely prolonging his illness and b) rather than being a wonderful trooper and not letting his employer down by succumbing to illness, he could even be actually harming his workplace by infecting all his colleagues. And yes, he does tend to get a bit superior on the (fairly rare) occasions when I say I need to take a sick day, or I don't feel up to exercising.

I often think (in frustration, because I love him and I wish he'd look after himself better sometimes) that I could cut both his legs off, and he'd still drag himself into sodding work on his elbows.

But you don't want to reduce your temperature. Higher temperatures are a tool used by your body to kill bacteria and viruses.

I'm quite sympathetic initially. Then unless I think they're really ill, I completely lose all patience. Either you're properly ill, in which case you should be in bed, or you're not. If you can lounge around watching TV and eating, you're well enough to get on with things (although maybe not well enough to go into work depending on what you do).

Oooh yes, the utter horror of people who are too ill to take the DC to the park/make tea/help tidy the kitchen, but QUITE well enough to sit up in bed and watch telly/playstation.......

Don't be sorry, we're all different! I can be very intolerant of other things such as people who are really chatty and friendly with you one minute (school gates for example) and then ignore you the next! My DW who is absolutely lovely cannot cope with me being ill and it was really difficult for us because I had a health problem for 2 years. She got constantly impatient and cross about it despite the fact that I had been incredibly sympathetic to her health problems the year before. She's an amazing partner in all other respects though and she puts up with my many foibles!

I'm a lesbian so can't comment on whether men are worse at being ill than women! My dad and brothers are very stoic and hardly ever have time off work if that's anything to go by!

Just to be clear, I wasn't referring to times when we're both ill. Things are completely fair when we're both ill, which is very rare. He just doesn't really approve of me resting if I'm ill.

I had the misfortune to marry a creaking gate who this morning has taken to bed this morning having produced slightly looser than usual stool and claimed the onset of irritable bowel syndrome, to join the list of other imagined illnesses (weak heart, ruptured achilles, shadow on the lung)

A plaintive wail for lemonade has just been issued (and duly ignored)

come, come. Sickle people need a kinder attitude than that

Yanbu in relations to things such as the example in your op. I am much the same

I had to call the dentist because I couldn't stand living with the owner of the largest abscess in the South East, and if he got blood poisoning he might keel over while I was at work, leaving (then) three small children unattended.

He also used to have a good moan every winter about horrible aches in his joints, which he said would be the death of him. I said it's likely rheumatism, which is miserable but not life-threatening, so he said it would be because he would "go off a high place" (ie do himself in). I suggested the dr, he said no, there's nothing anyone can do, I must just resign myself to being widowed early. (Needless to say he's still around, I would say "on this Earth" but I'm not sure he ever was...)

After I told him we were definitely divorcing he went to the dr for a full health check (and came back with a prescription for Viagra ). He made much of the dr having said he was "fit as a fiddle". So what did the dr say about all the aches and pains, I asked. "What aches and pains?" he said.