To have no time for sick people

[WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid]

That's it really. I'm crap will sick people - it's one of my worst flaws.

I try and be a better person but it's just not in me. Thankfully I'm ok with the kids when they get sick but dh just pisses me off.

Him - "My back hurts"
Me - "well have you done the exercises the physio gave you?" (No he hasn't)

Him - "I'm really sick" he's got the same cold I have and yes it is vile but I've been carrying on as normal whereas he has basically been out of action for 4 days.

Basically I can cope with a sick dh for about 2 days then I lose patience. I'm the same with other family, I say I'm avoiding them because I don't want their germs but in truth I'm avoiding them.

XH got an abscess, put up with it for days, one cheek swelled up like a hamster, groaning and tossing around all night, getting up to gargle with brandy (!) etc. I said hie thee unto the dentist pdq, I'm done with sympathy for your suffering, now I just want a good night's sleep. I got home from work that evening, asked did you ring the dentist? "They can only see me in a month," he muttered.

So I rang the dentist. They said yes, XH had rung, but didn't mention pain and swelling, just said he needed an appointment; when they offered him one he said it was too close to school drop-off so he couldn't do it, and the first date they could find that fitted the time he wanted was four weeks ahead. I said well he's keeping me up all night with the groaning. She said we'll see him tomorrow. Sorted.

(Before you express sympathy for the arse, no, he doesn't have dental phobia. I put it down to martyr complex myself, ie he enjoyed the idea that he was suffering because the boys' need to go to school trumped his mere pain. He also used to say, when I'd just dished out a meal, "don't worry about me, just make sure the boys have enough" when there was plenty for all of us. As far as I know he was not present at the siege of Leningrad but he may have watched the film.)

I'd have just left him to it, Annie. Why play his mother?

I have zero sympathy with those who will not take something to help, ring the surgery, etc.

I tell them to take their whinging some place else.

YY I left my exH after he got was diagnosed with a brain tumour. Thought it meant he could stop work and not help out around the house or with the dc at all. I didn't marry someone to wait on them hand and foot and do all the work as well. No patience for it at all.

Dc I have endless sympathy for, probably too much.

Dh is hopeless when ill, refuses to stay in bed, spreads germs everywhere, won't take mess or go to GP. Zero sympathy.

That said when he was really very ill in December I did all I could and ran myself ragged - when he was better I ended up ill. I got zero sympathy.

Yeah I'm with you.
DH - Oww my head hurts, it's been hurting all day but getting worse now.
Me - Have you taken anything.
DH - Nope, you know I don't like painkillers.
Me - So you'd rather sit in pain instead of taking them for what they're meant for.
DH - No, not really.
ME - Do you want some?
DH - Yeah, go on then.

Me quietly in the kitchen getting him some painkillers - ARGHHHHH,God damn idiot!

If he didn't already have the headache I'd throttle him :)

As someone with back issues I wouldn't have much sympathy either if he doesn't do the physio exercises. Does he do them at all? Because he's only hurting himself and also wasted the physio's time if not. Chronic pain is awful but if you won't even do the exercises then nothing is going to improve. You have to be willing to put the work in to see results.

Are you all married to my DP?

Mine hangs on to the side of the work surface groaning.
Every second breath is a martyred sigh.

Either go to bed if you're that ill or STFU!

Disclaimer: I do go into the bedroom every four hours and hurl two paracetamol at him

Ememem84

I hope none of your colleauges had a immuno compromised relative at home.

This is just one more thing carers have to take into consideration before deciding whether they are able to go out to work.

DH I can mostly cope with, he doesn't moan until he is ill.

The DDs, however, have their moments.

DD2, yes I know your knee, foot, ankle, arm hurts. If you will practise gymnastics in the house and kick the furniture, what do you expect.

Yes DD1, you've got a head, life gives you a headache, go for a walk.

Oh and Nocomet, I have no sympathy with you if your back hurts. It's your own stupid fault for sitting about MNing.

Whoo hoo - not being unreasonable.

I think you have all hit the nail on the head. I have sympathy when it's genuine but after he has completely failed to help himself I've had enough.

annie I'm in the same boat a you re sorting out dh's medical appointments / medication.

He has asthma. Every bloody time is his ventolin runs out he manages to time it 1 day before we go on holiday. It falls to me to get him a new one.

The number of times I have explained

1 it takes two days for a repeat prescription
2 you need a yearly asthma review and you never go to see the nurse so they hate doing a repeat without seeing you
3 we both work so my time is precious too
4 you are a fully grown adult, sort your own medication out

Last time he did this I told him never again, it's not my problem.

Argh. There is a special ring of Hell reserved for people who pop tablets out of packets in a disorganised fashion, and/or take odd numbers of them. Or start a new sheet when the last one isn't empty yet. Or ignore my careful stacking of the paracetamol packets in the drawer, with the open one on the top, and dig under and open A WHOLE NEW BOX.

Bloody hell. I really never realised, until this thread, just how much this bothers me. I need a sit down now.

I am only posting on your thread, OP, because of your username

Im no nurse either. When my kids are sick i say "em. There there". I hate hearing about people's alleged food intolerances too. Usually before they wallop in to a cheesecake.

Are you me OP? YADNBU!
My DH is an absolute pain when he's ill; I can muster sympathy when he's genuinely sick but with him everything is so melodramatic, it drives me insane. We both have the same cold atm, not fun but its just a cold. Every time he coughs he makes this enormous fuss, clutches his head and says that he 'blacked out for a minute'. It's just a mild cough ffs.

So you mean you have no time for lazy people who won't help themselves?

Think you can be forgiven for that!

Yesterday I found DH on the sofa being 'ill' and he told me (in slightly pathetic tones) that he was thirsty. I asked him if he had had a drink. He's had a tiny glass of water. No sympathy here.

darkest ok I know I shouldn't go in when sick because if could affect others. However, this particular time I had to go in. Had work I couldn't do from home -ie needed to be signed witnessed scanned back to clients to complete on a transaction. Trust me, I didn't enjoy being there either. Usually if I can I'll work from home and just field emails.

That said my work demand a sickness certificate for anything over 1 day. Gp is unlikely to give one for a cold.i was contained in one section of the office, was very careful not to spread germs.

Yabu. I find it really hard to cope with people who are not understanding of sick people! Sorry but just as it is a "thing" for you it is a "thing" for me the other way around!

I'm just the same I'm even worse if it looks like an a&e trip due to stupidity ( looking at you DC1)

I think I'm good with sick people generally but I do get irritated by DF. Whatever he has he is sure that it is much worse than what everyone else has had and he even says this. Even worse he always dismissed everyone else's symptoms/ailments. DH is actually very good when sick- I think that I would have run a mile at the beginning of our relationship if he wasn't though.

I try to be good with DH since he doesn't martyr himself and moan all day, and he's sweet and makes me soup when I'm sick. He just gets quiet and sulks a bit which is easy to ignore when he's sick, unless he's really sick then I give him attention.

But I've learned not to just dismiss him when he whines now. Last time he was laying it on thick about a "bite" on his butt. I looked at it and it just looked like a zit. Told him to man up. But no he couldn't go hiking or anything else because it hurt too much. We were visiting my parents and he kept insisting it wasn't a zit. We kept teasing him about his butt all night. My mom went out and got him some prid drawing salve from the store because she thought we were being mean. He put it on his zit. Turns out it was a spider bite, once the swelling went down you could see the bite marks. By the time the prid was done drawing everything out it was a huge crater and the zit like top was just the tip of the iceberg. It looked like one of those horrific bites you see on the internet. I felt terrible and he felt vindicated.

So now when he whines we run out and get medicine for him and I let him rest. :)